Gransnet forums

Relationships

Younger friends

(53 Posts)
kittylester Wed 02-May-18 07:41:29

Yesterday, I bumped into the young woman I worked with (I was a volunteer, she was paid) quite closely, for over a year.

As we are friends on fb, I messaged her to say how nice it was to see her, how well she looked and how I missed working with her. We exchanged a few messages and she suggested meeting for a cup of tea during her lunch hour.

Now, I'm having a crisis of confidence and wonder whether she is humouring this 'old dear' or whether she really wants to meet up! Does she think I'm a sad stalker?

She is the same age as my youngest daughter ie 30 to my almost 70.

What do you think?

Jane10 Wed 02-May-18 07:48:35

Don't worry! If she didn't want to see you she would find an excuse. When I was young my favourite friend was a much older lady I'd met through work. I was very sad when she had to move to the South Coast.
A friend's a friend irrespective of age.
Enjoy your outing with her.

annsixty Wed 02-May-18 08:25:39

She suggested the meeting kitty so I think she really wanted a longer chat .
I hope you enjoy it, we don't have to only have friends of our age, how boring that would be.

sodapop Wed 02-May-18 08:33:45

Don't over think it Kitty friends come in all shapes and sizes. It may not be a best friends forever relationship but its good to have different people in your life.
Enjoy your time with her.

Newquay Wed 02-May-18 08:41:17

Did you get on well during that time working together I wonder? If so, it will be great to meet up, you'll have something to natter about. I think it's great to have friends of all ages. Just met a younger woman who is new to our church. She lives nearby and is expecting their first baby. I invited her round for coffee yesterday. We had a lovely time and have quite a bit in common. Enjoy!

crazyH Wed 02-May-18 08:43:06

When I was in my 30s, I had an elderly neighbour who was in her 70s. She was housebound, so I visited her regularly, took her for drives, because her only daughter could not drive. She and I shared a lovely friendship...told each other almost everything....she gave me history lessons. I gained much from her .

Panache Wed 02-May-18 08:43:30

I can understand your reluctance Kittylester but it sounds completely unfounded to me.If its any consolation to you most of my friends are at least 20 to 30 years my junior these days and do you know we get on better and have more of a mixed conversation..........and laughs .....than I ever have with folk nearer my own age.......nearing the big 80.
Friendships over a length of time sadly deplete as one reaches 70/80 and though I still have two,one of which is in her mid nineties, remember there was a time when she was far older than myself and yet we hit it off from the start.
Friendships or acquaintships is not about age gaps,but sharing something in common,and then enjoying that together.
Life is far too short to start worrying by such trivialities.................just go for it and enjoy!!!

Jane10 Wed 02-May-18 09:00:58

I really enjoy the company of some of the people I meet at a U3A group. They are about 20 years older than me but we have great chats and I always look forward to our sessions.
Another U3A group is much younger but I don't enjoy their company nearly as much. It's personality not age that contributes to good friendships.

Jaycee5 Wed 02-May-18 10:05:06

You are friends because you have some history in common, enjoy chatting and obviously like each other's company. I used to be friends with an elderly woman at work. It was a different kind of friendship than younger people. It's only a coffee.
Also, young people can be lonely and she may need a bit of company just as much as older people sometimes do. It is just a coffee. Don't overthink it.

rileydog Wed 02-May-18 10:08:01

I’m 60 in June and have just returned from Dublin to celebrate a friend’s 90th birthday. We’ve been friends for over 15 years and I love spending time with her. Go and enjoy yourself!

maximka25 Wed 02-May-18 10:10:13

I don't think you have to worry about the age gap. Two of my closest and dearest friends were 41-42 years older than me. Sadly, they both passed away over two and three years ago, and I miss them so much.

grannytotwins Wed 02-May-18 10:11:48

I’m 68 and go out to the pub, meals etc with my friend. She is 25. Her husband is 60 this year so she is comfortable with my age group. Age is just a number (cliched I know), but it’s common interests that make friendships.

Jimbow15 Wed 02-May-18 10:17:25

Go along and enjoy yourself. Be confident and relaxed and have fun.

Overthehills Wed 02-May-18 10:18:26

One of my dearest friends was at least 20 years older than me - go for it. What do you have to lose?

Mapleleaf Wed 02-May-18 10:19:17

Go out with your friend and enjoy a nice time. As others say, age is just a number, you have many things in common. Relax and look forward to a lovely time. Let us know how you got on. I’m betting that you will say you had a great time and have organised another meetup! ?

Greciangirl Wed 02-May-18 10:26:42

For heavens sake. If she didn’t want to see you, surely she wouldn’t have agreed to meet you, would she..?

I think you are possibly worrying about nothing.

Willow500 Wed 02-May-18 10:30:07

Another one who agrees the age difference isn't an issue - unless you make it one. My friend worked with a lot of much younger people in a well known store and years later they are still great friends and regularly go out together. Just go and enjoy yourself smile

grannyinmypocket Wed 02-May-18 10:30:25

If she didn't want to meet up she wouldn't have suggested it, my friend at work is 35, I am 62 we get on great and have a laugh, she's taken me in her car shopping a couple of times, she's the same age as 1 of my daughters, it's good to have friends of different ages,

paddyann Wed 02-May-18 10:30:41

I always loved "old" people ,as a oung girl I regularly visited an old neighbour ...much older than my mum and loved talking to her.When I was a newly wed I'd go to the pub with a neighbour in her 70's ,her stories of her life were fascinating and she was great company.Now I'm the older person with the younger friends and some of my D's friends pop in to visit when the're passing and msg me on FB .Age is just a number .Have a great time with our friend.I should say my OH is much more at home with people 20 years or more younger than him and has a lot of men friends that are ages with our children .

JanaNana Wed 02-May-18 10:31:42

I don,t think age comes into friendship at all. It's the interests you share and maybe sense of humour that often bond friends. One of my dearest friends was 28 years older than me and age never came into it. We had so much in common that we never even thought about it apart from one occasion when we were out together having coffee ..the waitress brought them over saying "here,s yours and here,s your mum's. We both burst out laughing. Sadly she has since died in her 90s a really happy..fun lady who was special and sadly missed.

grannyinmypocket Wed 02-May-18 10:33:01

Also I have a friend who was in her late 80s, she's great!

Coconut Wed 02-May-18 10:33:04

I have friends from both my previous jobs, they are half my age yet still email, text and ask me out to dinner, ask my advice etc it’s lovely .... enjoy !

GabriellaG Wed 02-May-18 10:38:57

Well, tbh, we have no idea what she thinks or her motive for meeting and nor do you unless you ask.
How can you ask anyone to decide what you should do or what WE think SHE thinks? Mad...

Nanny123 Wed 02-May-18 10:43:08

Not at all. She was the one to suggest it. I have worked with all different age groups and its the person that appeals to me not their age.

kittylester Wed 02-May-18 10:52:20

Gabrielle - does the 'mad' refer to me? It must be lovely in your world if you never have a crisis of confidence!

Thank you everyone for replying.

I know I will enjoy myself but, will she? I'd hate her to be thinking she was doing me a favour.

I am aware that friendships with large age differences work. One of my friends is much nearer my mum's age than mine but, as far as I am aware, none of my daughters have friends who are 40 years older!