Technology concerns

ask their parents what the limit is on the i-pads etc.If they have a time restraint they should have told you.If not then ask if you can make your own rule about it.If the parents have no concern and are happy with the time spent on tech ..then you have to live with it

mali24

You could make a rule that the iPads are not allowed at your house. Then you could ensure that you have many fun options available of things to do instead.

(I don't consider this making a "parenting decision" because I think it's perfectly reasonable to have a rule that you don't allow certain types of technology in your home.)

I have had similar issues with my grandchildren - I have had various meltdowns that I just don't know how to handle. We did not grow up with this technology so it is hard to draw on previous experience.

To get this in perspective think of the iPad as equivalent to a book or toy in our day Whilst I m not advocating they are on them all the while when I went to my nans when mum was at work I used to take my book and maybe a pack of cards to play solitaire with or a colouring book to play with while she was busy I guess it’s similar
On the other hand I d say during their stay ‘put you iPad s away, pop your shoes on, we re going out to get an ice cream’ then make it last as long as you want if you start getting into a war over it they won’t be happy to come to yours and at the end of the day it’s their parents decision and you should ask them for guidance as to how much time they want them to spend on their devices if they say only an hour then THEY need to tell their kids when you’re at Nans you only use your iPads for one hour then do other things with Nanny not for you

Thank you, all. It's good to hear a few different opinions on this.

As the grandparent, you are in charge. Just tell your grandchildren that when with you screen time is limited and offer alternatives. Ignore any strops. They will get use to it.

Most parents have a set screen time for children so first of all find out what it is - 15 mins/30 mins etc. Then stick to that. iPads have timers that can count down and our DGS reacts better to this. He is also ok when you warn him eg. 5 minutes left and so on.

My DGS wants to spend as much time as he can on his tablet playing Minecraft or on the Xbox playing Ninjago or Batman. At first I was worried then saw how my DS & DiL dealt with this. There is a time limit on how much time DGS can spend then he has to play with constructive toys even if only building Lego. There are a few moans but as this was his parents way of dealing right from the start he does accept the rules! Weekends DiL takes DGS & DGD out to parks or playgrounds which both children love. So I think it depends on the parents rules & following along with the rules that they have set. Works for us but every child is different. Good luck with settling yours!

My 5 yo DGD would spend all day on a tablet if we let her. We have a morning routine of tea in bed when she is allowed to use the tablet, and then I either tell her I’m going for a shower and ask her politely to turn off when I come back, or set a kitchen timer for her to turn off when the bell rings. It’s been working pretty well as she knows that tablet-time is coming to an end in advance and can prepare herself for it. Then we go and have breakfast and engage in other activities. I think to just say ‘turn off now’ is problematic - after all we wouldn’t be too impressed if someone said that to us when we’re in the middle of a GN post!

Have just come home from looking after 2 GS’s while the parents were away for 5 days. DS had asked me to time them on games etc Like most kids they are obsessed, but I stood my ground, was given the “evil eye” a couple of times but they had no choice but to comply. Kids will sulk or strop to wear you down and get their own way, but with the parents backing, stand your ground and tell them how it’s gonna be at your house from now on. If they have unlimited access at home, it’s difficult ... but if we don’t talk to our kids and have their full attention ... we lose the relationship with them and I for one will not let that happen, so it’s timed sessions only when this Nanny is in charge !

I look after two DGS’s of 4 and 10 also. Bit of a different situation, parents are separated so boys come to stay for weekends to see their father who doesn’t live with us. The iPad comes too and although the older one is sporty he says he plays on it at our house because his friends aren’t around. The little one asks to use mine and I do ration it or tell him the battery needs charging. The other grandchildren use iPads too. I suppose it’s a sign of the times and at that age I would have been the same if electronic games had been around.

Thirty minute timed sessions for our four grandchildren. Their parents set this time limit too. A five minute warning is always given.
But they might be allowed to use this twice a day (or even three times sometimes).
They seem happy that this is fair.

When they come to my house I hide my table phone and lap top and if they asked for it they can have 20 mins each. I have lots of craft projects ready for them, they have construction toys at mine and I set competitions to build the biggest tower. the older ones make and bake. Before bed is quite time an hour with no Tv or technology just books or family board games.
I get them out to the park, messy church nature walks. The point is I distract them with other activities. They love it at mine and tell my daughter how fun it is. Nanna house nannas rules. I sometimes think putting them in front of a screen is just the easiest option.

I say to my grandson you can have 30 mins or 45 depending, then we will do xyz as you need to do other things. (we walk, read, homework or bake). He is 10 and although would rather be playing he does engage. I always give him a 5 minute warning when time is up and perhaps let him finish a game if that is appropriate.

mali24.
As its only one day a week , and you have transport, kids need fresh air not stuck in doors so weather permitting let your GC say where they would like to go for the day within reason. Take a picnic or get a take away but tablets will stay at home. If its stay indoors weather, have they paints? any board games? Tablets do not inspire children to be creative and there are alternatives in keeping boredom at bay. You need to have words with their parents as to what they can suggest .It shouldn't be left entirely to you.

I think a blanket ban sucjh as suggested by agnurse is unfair and would likely result in GC not wanting to visit you. Times have changed. What do their parents do?

you cant stop them using their pads/games consoles ,Its the 21st century for heavens sake not 1950! Children need these tablets etc for school work and playing on them helps them become competent .By all means set times for use but only with the parents back up .

Just turn the internet off when they are at your home and say. ' Oh dear it's not working today, let's do........instead'. They'll soon get used to it. Why do children think they are in charge nowadays? My grandchildren do what I say when I am looking after them and they have a great time too. I have a swing at my house, lots of toys and craft materials and I spend the time to play with them.

I've got a 3 year old and 11 year old too and they love using tablets, phone, computer or xbox. When it's after school looking after them the older one says he's tired after a day at school and the travel to and from and he gets grumpy if not allowed to play Minecraft etc most of the time. He does play nicely with the little one though for 10 minutes or so and it's only a couple of hours then until mum comes home.

If I have them all day we do something outside the house on the way home to my house, like go swimming, where there is a soft play area to climb on too. They both enjoy the water and the climbing but then there are tablets for kids to play games on next to that area! They end up on those and the 3 year old screamed all the way to the car when we left last time . The big one carried her though and I ignored it as was used to one daughter who used to have kicking on the ground tantrums, and as soon as we got home the little one was fine. She's got lots to play with there, does watch a bit of Peppa Pig, but mostly plays pretend cooking, shopping or drawing on the white board we got for her.

My parents were very happy that my nose was always in a book. Many of which were pure entertainment, or even 'trashy'. Don't get too hung up over screens.

My grandson also loves his IPad and if he could would spend all day on it but one morning he woke up early went on it and had a seizure and was taken to hospital......now it’s very limited
To how often he can go on it

Its quite good that my GC don't have their own ipads etc and they think our TV won't go till 4 30 in the afternoon so they've given up asking. They're still quite little. They play with paints, playdough, card making etc and we go for long walks and get muddy. I've got a good supply of books from the op shop. If they had their way though they'd want to spend all their time watching a screen. When they do watch tv they won't communicate at all, they completely ignore anyone talking to them.

When I looked after my grandson, then aged 12, I tried to limit his time on his ipad, x box etc. One day my son said he should have a limit of 2 hours, and we should go out to the park for some of the time. My grandson, who is on the whole a pleasant, polite child, just would not stop playing on his ipad, every time I gave him a deadline he wanted to ‘just finish’ the game he was in. Eventually he put it down to get something to eat and I grabbed it and hid it. What did he do? Go to his room and start playing on his X box ( whatever that is) . In the end I turned the electricity off at the meter and told him it was a power cut. We finally got to go out and he became a normal person again for a while. When my son came home he was not amused that various things on timers were disrupted by the loss of power, and thought I should have been able to control my grandson better.. It blew over quickly but I would never bother to try and stop my GC from being on his ipad again. When I visit he is on his ipad, son watches sport on tv, neither wants to talk because it is ‘interrupting’ what they are doing. DIL goes out to yoga etc and I don’t blame her, She makes an effort to be sociable for a while after dinner, then goes to bed early to watch what she wants on the tv in the bedroom. Frankly I don’t see much point in visiting them anymore. The only time we all socialise is if we go out for a meal - but whatever sort of restaurant we go in all they want or will eat are pizzas or burgers! If this is modern family life it is very sad, no wonder there is an increase in mental illnesses and obesity, since watching tv is not social or fulfilling in itself and is usually accompanied by endless snacks and drinking. It was not always like this, at one time they did make an effort to play games and do something different.

For myself, I have no option but to read my kindle when I am with them.

I look after my 6 year old GD after school. All she wants is to play with my ipad. However the games are fun. One of them she is shown an empty room and has to chose the decor for it. Another was painting by numbers. She was choosing the colours for the picture. She does jigsaws too. To me it is her chill out time after school. Sometimes after a while she will jump up a go to play on the trampoline.