Would you lie to such an extreme?

It's none of your business. I should think that if you are very attractive it is wise to choose ones friends carefully in that they are supportive and are not watching and waiting …..

As the other ladies have said, I would def tell her what your feelings are and ask why she feels the need to lie, when having cosmetic surgery these days is so commonplace. Also it’s awful that she would involve her son to lie for her. I would now seriously ask myself what the point of that particular friendship was.

I would ask her outright and show how disappointed you are she has lied and even worse involved her son in her lies to me she sounds attention seeking

Ugh that’s a horrible betrayal of trust if that did happen ... I had a friend who was ill and admittedly does have a chronic one but ... I gave her all the friendship and help I could and she began to enjoy it too much ... to the point unfortunately I caught her out inadvertently .. long story but I was totally gutted and whensbe realised that I had “cottoned on “ to it all she gave me the silent treatment during a 2 hour car journey ... I was gutted and very confused as on one hand I was broken hearted for her that she does have a chronic condition but on the other hand I felt utterly used ...
I am still heartbroken ... why would she do that to me ?... Munchousens they call it. .... I became a bit more distant and she threw a wobbler but my husband was about to go through a major operation and my head was everywhere .. I just texted her and said I’ve got a lot on my mind at the moment and she pulled the plug just like that ... I feel loads better without her but my compassion is still there :0(

Anneishere
Would you please make your posts more readable by using punctuation. A - ( hyphen) doesn't replace full stops and commas. I felt quite out of breath reading it. Thank you.

She sounds a very silly woman manipulating her compliant son!

I agree with MawBroon and many others re liars. Small or big lies - why tell 'em? Everyone should hear the truth otherwise trust leaves the relationship and will never return.

How did she explain the new boobs though?

Hm,difficult one,as janeainsworth points out-poeple CAN have cosmetic surgery after an accident etc- BUT it usually involves more than one night in hospital and she would definately have had cat scans to check out her head all right- i would think she would have been in hosp for a while as it sounded so serious,and been grateful of a few friends/ family visiting her.yes very odd- but to get her own son to lie for her is despicable- if i asked my family to do that theyd think i was barking mad! (If shes brought him up honest he would have refused to) why lie at all if she was going to be in hospital only 1 night? Much better to ring folk next day and give little white lie over mislaying her phone or something then,if shes hoping that eye op is good enough to go unoticed?surely she knew youd be worried for her?But also,i can see point of comment about not wanting a friend who scrutinises you so closely then makes assumptions,but then you do know her well enough to know that shes lied before about things so sadly youre probably right.But why not just say,and bask in the compliments of how young she looks etc,if thats what shes had it done for whyever not?nowt so strange as folk they say! But i for one would be cooling off her a bit i must admit, for having lied so badly to me.

It sounds as if your friend suffers from narcissistic syndrome. Look it up, you will probably recognize many of her behavioural traits. There is no currently no 'cure'. People with this condition are not aware of the feelings of other people, only their own. It is a different way of 'being'. As friends they are often enormous fun with their impulsive, outrageous behaviour, kind and generous, but at the same time very hard work. One of my former friends of fifteen years had this condition and although we mutually agreed to end our relationship, as we no longer had any common ground, I will always remember her with huge affection. Sometimes we have to acknowledge that our friends are not perfect but we still love them anyway. Over the years I seem to have found a pattern in that for me friendships last about fifteen years and then they have run their course. We are all in a state of becoming, we are never the finished article and sometimes it is just time to move on.

She must think you are stupid and that's the bit which would 'miff' me. It's up to her if she wants to improve her looks but why go to such measures as concocting a tale
of such over the top proportion. You could,, see her reaction to 'how marvellous she looks', and enquire which hospital/surgeon did such wonderful' reconstruction' that many would pay to have done .

I've never understood the need for secrecy about having work done. People will always have an opinion one way or another. I had a facelift 10 years ago, and told everyone what I was doing and most folk knew before I did it. When I returned to work after the school hols I told the school secretary to tell everyone. It was hilarious to see the different reactions, but frankly the most important opinion on all of this was my own, especially when looking in the mirror and feeling good about myself again. There are folk who think it is great that I did it, and folk who think it was silly and a total waste of money. It is a question of "so what", and who cares, anyway? It gave me a much needed boost after a disastrous marriage to an abusive man and divorce and I count myself very fortunate that I had the means of doing it and wouldn't hesitate to advise anyone contemplating it to go ahead and do it. To hell with other people's opinions. Sometimes people comment on how good I look for my age, and I smile sweetly and reply "I have a very good surgeon", and then leave them to guess whether or not I'm pulling their leg!!

Have you asked her about the car? Talk about the damage, the insurance claim. The damage to other vehicles involved. Was the other driver hurt?
See how she responds to these questions....

I'd feel sorry for her that she is so superficial & totally self-centred. But I'd also question anything she says or has said in the past!
Unless you find her company entertaining, I wouldn't bother keeping in contact with her. You know now that what she says is only for her own benefit & interests and she doesn't give tuppence for the feelings of others!

Oh anneishere could you not just 'add' the punctuation in your head as you read it? You dont have to read it all in one big sentence you know.lol als,Falmer- yes they do take taxis on motorways, my yongest son often goes to hospital appts via taxi provided by hosp transport service- but the drivers are usually very good id think a taxi driver would do all he could to avoid an accident.The friends lies just seem to escalate dont they?where would she go from there? Your trust would always be broken im afraid as id question other things she said after that.shame really when theres no need.

So Sorry-wrong person- not anneishere- but GabriellaG! Read a bit too fast there i think to notice! Lol

Did she lie to you or did her son? Maybe she was worried about people knowing and her son came up with the idea and she has gone along with it getting in deeper. You did say she was to some extend insecure.

You could ask more questions and say how lucky they removed the bags on both eyes, would have cost a lot to have that done.

Otherwise just see her and her son as 2 silly people. You enjoy her company but take things with a "pinch of salt" which I think you have been doing so far.

I must admit I would wickedly continue the facade. How well you have recovered ! Do you have to go for follow ups at the hospital etc!
It really is a joke !

Yes ajanela-good point well made; it could be her son who is making up the big lie as hes embarressed over admitting his mums had cosmetic surgery maybe?Has he the same 'trait' as his mum?lies about other things? Or maybe your friends lies in past were to cover up for his?But either way id have to ask outright i think.No its not anyone elses buisness if she had dozens of cosmetic ops,but you deserved the truth as shes known you so long.even if she'd sworn you to secrecy over others knowing.

Dont most people have 2 eyes???sorry.lol

Must just be me but I would find it funny. I wouldn’t do either of those things, have cosmetic surgery or make up big lies, but it is still comical. I would do like loopyloo suggests and plague her with questions about the accident and the operation and it’s aftermath. I wouldn’t ever trust a word she said in the future either.

If that is all you have to worry about then you are very lucky

If you're correct then it was a dreadful thing to do but why would her son have colluded or was he also deceived? I would meet up with her and ask her outright, it's the only thing that will set your mind at rest. If she tells you the whole thing was a subterfuge then tell her how worried you were, that it was totally unnecessary and quite cruel to put friends through the worry. It would then be up to you to decide re continuing the friendship.

Horrible when people lie, especially someone close. Once a liar always a liar, and you have to make a decision as to whether you want this in your life. If you're brave enough, why not front it out with her. Sounds as if, although you say she is attractive etc, she actually has low self esteem. Maybe she needs someone to be a friend enough to tell her that you know hats going on and these lies aren't necessary for you to value her friendship. I'm sure you resent feeling that she is 'taking you for a fool'. I'd front it out with this woman if she was my friend x

Lies or truth or a mixture?
Maybe the question is, how much do you value this friendship? If you want to keep it, can you forget about your doubts and just carry on as if it were true?
If you can’t continue without challenging her story, you’ll have to risk losing the friendship. If you accuse her of lying and the story was true, she may never forgive you.
Best to think through possible consequences, consider your feelings, then decide how to proceed.
Maybe you could start a conversation about her surgery/treatment - ask about the kind or surgery that was required. See how the conversation goes before making a decision to challenge her.