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Would you lie to such an extreme?

(79 Posts)
Anneishere Wed 30-May-18 08:34:35

I have a friend I have known since childhood- we used to travel to school together!! I have been on holidays with her over the years - she is and has always been very attractive and very conscious of looks - she is and has always been very sociable - however she does try to portray to people how insecure she is - and yes to a point she is in many ways - anyway I received a text message from her son some weeks back saying his mother has been in a serious car accident on motor way with a large lorry as a result of which she underwent an eye surgery due to bang on her head and he stressed family and friends must not text her as she is not allowed to look at any screens including tv- and must fully rest at home - I phoned her and she explained how lucky she was feeling to be alive etc etc I was extremely worried for her and after 2weeks she turned up at a family gathering- her eyes looked bad in that they looked bruised and ‘different ‘ and of course no makeup - I could not help but notice how the bags underneath her eyes had disappeared!! The bags were not that bad & she really does look good for her age. I said nothing to no one as felt guilty in what I was thinking. Last night we met for a catch up together with another friend and again she wore no makeup BUT the bags have gone and skin around eyes did look somehow better/ tighter- even the other person said - she has had her eyes done - I have absolutely nothing against anyone who wants cosmetic surgery to make themselves feel better but what I find hard to accept here is fact how she lied to me and family and friends saying she was in a serious car accident causing her to bang head resulting in a eye op thus causing people to really worry - but I also noticed two of her eyes were clearly tampered with? I spent all that week worried sick as her son said she was in hospital- that the surgeons were extremely worried about her but yet she only spent one day in hospital- had no scans?? Over the days nothing was really adding up?? I questioned was I being paranoid? If she has lied I honestly believe that for someone to go to that extreme I.e telling all she was it’s serious car accident to me is just not right / normal? I hope I am wrong - otherwise I would not be able to feel same about her - she has lied before- little lies in that she has put fake tan on but claiming she gets sun quick - I can cope with that sort of harmless lie but not to cause worry on other people! Would you lie to such an extreme?

Summermary Wed 06-Jun-18 10:13:25

Grouchy Nanna. I feel I’m turning into this. My daughter and two boys live with me. Daughter has med issues so appreciates my help. Grandson 1 is nearly 8. He has Aspergers and mild ADHD. I find I am less tolerant of him just now with his odd comments and silliness. Academically he is bright. I snap or rant at him - I remember doing that when my kids were small and I was on my own with them after divorce. Any tips please?? We have just gone through Court issues as his dad - who thought nothing of clearing off for 3 years playing in a band on cruise ships (he had great local job and abandoned it). He’s ended up with more access including almost half holidays. This is basically turning poor kids life upside down and he is so agitated returning from seeing dad. His dad bullied daughter for years but dr refused to say her stress etc was due to this so no legal aid. All stressful. I hate it when he’s with his dad because the man is clueless about Aspergers but knows it all!

Melanieeastanglia Fri 29-Jun-18 15:23:32

I think to lie about illness or a serious accident is very wrong. White lies - most of us tell them and they are superficial lies but your friend has told a fundamental lie.

I might not say anything to her but I'd remember the old saying "I like her/him but I know her/him".

If she'd just said she'd be incommunicado for a couple of weeks with no reason, that would have been much more acceptable.

crazyH Fri 29-Jun-18 21:54:19

How awful ....