Moving away from grown up children with new partner

Not something I have had to think about , my lot visit often and they need a plane and a hire car to get here . I think you might find them making the effort to visit if you entice them with a nice meal or a chance to see another part of the country ? Go for it , they couldn't be more distant from the sound of your post , good luck xxxx

Would being an hour or so away really make that much difference. If you don't see much of your children now, then it seems to make good sense to move with your new partner and have an enjoyable life with him.

Go for it girl ! You can't live your life around your kids and grandkids. If I had the chance, I would ! Sadly, no one's offered to sweep me off my feet ?

We live 4 hours' drive from my parents and have a good relationship with them. We live in Canada and my ILs live in the UK. We have a great relationship with them too (with the exception of FIL, but that has nothing to do with the distance).

Growing up, we lived 6 hours' drive from my dad's parents and saw them two or three times a year. We always had a blast visiting them, seeing their farm, baking with Grandma, and taking picnics down to the river. They were always happy to see us and we had a fantastic relationship with them.

Don’t hesitate. An hour or so is not so very far. Not being close in distance often means more definite arrangements to meet whereas living close means a drop in any time that never actually happens.

My daughter lives an hour away. We meet halfway most weeks for coffee. My son lives 10 minutes away and passes me on the way to work. Once a month if I arrange it!

There might be grandchildren, there might not. They might want you to be really involved, they might not. You can’t live your life now on future uncertainties.

Oh and I’m off to live with the lover quite soon!

I live in France with my new partner but am only 2 1/2 hours away on Eurostar - I make sure I make plans with my kids to see them most times I am back in UK and it works, somehow!

Go live your own life and have a great time.

Ah thank you. And fantastic news for you. Wishing you every happiness x

Alegria56 I expect your adult children will be more than happy to see you 'settled.' Wherever you go to live. Less for them to worry about ( sorry to be realistic.)
Enjoy your life while you can.

I'm the same as lucyinthesky. Enjoy your life, your children are grown, you did a good job now is your time.

Goodness me it’s easily do’able, don’t give it a second thought or plan for something that may never happen.
No one needs to be distant with today’s technology, Face time, etc etc very best wishes make the most of it whilst you can ?

I thought you were going to say you were moving abroad.
1 1/2 hrs is nothing. Why can't you visit them when you move. It takes me over an hr when I take my granddaughter to school.

Thank you for all your lovely messages. It’s my first post on here.
Me visiting my children is no problem at all. It’s wether they will visit me.
But I guess when I move away it will be good to organise big family get togethers. I guess it’s just that next stage of my life that’s exciting and scary too. Thank you everyone x

You may find you see more of them if you aren’t so close. A family day now and again or invitations for specific events, if grandchildren arrive its easy enough to get to them and when older they will love coming to stay. Talk to them, an hour and a half is nothing. A big change is bound to feel scary but you are allowed to be happy you really are.

I live an hour and a half away from my daughter and I see that as "living close". I see them every week and pick up her children from school every Friday. I thought you were going to say you were going to another country or something.

Whether or not they choose to visit you is another thing entirely. No point living in fear that it won't happen though. Enjoy your life now - move to be with your man and have a great time !

Lucky you living so close. My son and daughter live a plane ride away. Your children are grown with their own lives. Keep in touch but go live yours. Wishing you happiness ?

Wife you rarely see your children and gave a chance at a new life, go for it. It's no fun being alone if you need companionship, I missed my chance at a new start and wished now I hadn't.

I would go for it. I have had a problem similar to this in that I have elderly parents who I couldn't leave and I amicably gave up a good relationship for them. I have no regrets as they've been good parents and are elderly but I think your children are capable of travelling to see you and it's different.

I felt I couldn't leave parents for a newish relationship. My response would have been difficult in an established relationship perhaps if there had been a job relocation which couldn't be avoided.

Good luck!

Hi Alegria, I am in the same situation as you at the moment...but I have grandchildren......I dont want to lose this chance of spending time with my partner after spenting some years on my own..
My one Daughter lives 20min away,but she wont visit,she wants me to stay on my own.
My other Daughter with my Grandchildren will be 2 hrs away.............I am really undecided as to what to do.....

Go for it!!!!! And if your kids don’t visit you what’s to stop you visiting them? I don’t expect my grown up kids to visit but I make sure I get to see them one way or another. I get the train and meet halfway. I have had my grandaughter to stay with me from a very young age (she used to love going on holiday to Nana’s house but is 12 now and prefers to stay near her friends.) I re-married at the age of 68 and am further away but wouldn’t have it any other way. There aren’t many decent
unattached blokes around and if you find one, keep him!!!! Good luck! Be happy x

Oh and I didn’t visit my mum much after if left home, she didn’t demand or expect it! In those days we kept in touch by letter . Now there is Skype or FaceTime to talk to and see your family on your phone or laptop. Facebook so you can stalk oops I mean follow them to see what they’re up to. It’s a wonderful age to live in if you embrace modern technology!!!!

A friend of mine moved from 5 minutes to 90 minutes away from her children and grandchildren to live with her new partner. As far as I can tell, she seems very happy!

Go !

My. my 1 hour 1.5 , even 2 hours is nothing
31 hours door to door to see my son and two grandkids and a day away to see a daughter and three grandkids and then ten minutes to see my others
If they never visit now and you re on the doorstep it may not change or they may make more effort but you cant just stay still in the hope it ll get better because it might not

Alegria/Heather Take the opportunity and go for it,do you think for one minute if your children had the chance to move to another part of the Country/World if they where offered that they would consider your feelings.
Go forward and enjoy your lives,your children have their own lives.