Moving away from grown up children with new partner

The question I would ask is if adult children were moving for job or better housing would they not go because of where the parents live? We have to live to the full.
OP I would say go and be happy.

I did it more than 30 years ago when my kids were 18 and 22. They were very supportive of me as they had their own lives, university and partners. It was hard as I moved 4 hours away and it was not easy at first for anyone. After 10 years we moved back to near my kids and I thought my life was complete with husband, kids and grandchildren. 6 years later my daughter announced that they were moving with their 2 children to Australia. So don't stay where you are for their sake - any time they could up sticks and move away themselves without the heart searching you are going through! Good relationships survive no matter the distance, you just have to work a bit harder at them x

Go for it 1 1/2 hours is nothing.

If you are absolutely certain that you want this partner and a life together then don't hesitate. Your family will sort itself out and all will be well. Be happy

Laptop playing tricks! 'There's nothing new...'

I'm three train rides away from both sons' families and when my DSs were small, we lived a similar distance from both sets of in-laws.There's nothing new in this kind of family mobility. If you don't make the move, there's no guarantee that your sons won't. I still have a good relationship with both of mine and, even if I don't see the GC as often as I'd like, we have, nevertheless, a real relationship.
Go ahead, enjoy your new relationship - it's your life.

Only an hour and a half from possible grandchildren? Are you the lucky one! We live 4 hours from ours, our children's grandparents lived all of one and a half hours away and I often lived halfway across the world from my grandparents.

Since you say your children rarely visit where you are now, I cannot see what difference it will make even if you move even further away. Are you assuming this will change when they have children? I shouldn't bet on it, unless they want you to do lots of (unpaid) childcare for them.

Guilt doesn't come into it.

Algria even if you stayed where you are, whats to say your children would not move away anyway.
Go for it...

Thank you,

So many of us in the same position. I also have a new person in my life.
I had not noticed how things were for quite a while. I was expected to babysit with little notice or at strange hours. I was not visited. I did not ever have any general conversation
I was trying to juggle babysitting 4 days a week, trying to go to house viewings and fitting everything around DP shift patterns. It was a bit much.
I had a fall and still I went to babysit. When the parent got finished at work, I was asked to babysit some more while DD went to dash around with non parent to find certain Beers. I said I have to get to the hospital and that provoked anger at me and the child. Similar happened a few weeks later. The non parent was to be appeased while I was to cope with another difficult situation on my own. Since I mentioned that I was unhappy with this I have been ignored.
I am now actively looking for a property away from the home town. This will be my property and DP will also have his property which is near the home town.
I know my DCs would not give me 5 minutes of their time so why should I give up any chance of happiness and someone who seems to care a whole lot more about me.
Go for it and enjoy.

You can't make decisions based on grandchildren who might never even exist.
You won't be all that far away and can always move closer again if you want to be an involved granny to your grandchildren who are only hypothetical at the moment.

Alegria/Heather Take the opportunity and go for it,do you think for one minute if your children had the chance to move to another part of the Country/World if they where offered that they would consider your feelings.
Go forward and enjoy your lives,your children have their own lives.

My. my 1 hour 1.5 , even 2 hours is nothing
31 hours door to door to see my son and two grandkids and a day away to see a daughter and three grandkids and then ten minutes to see my others
If they never visit now and you re on the doorstep it may not change or they may make more effort but you cant just stay still in the hope it ll get better because it might not

Go !

A friend of mine moved from 5 minutes to 90 minutes away from her children and grandchildren to live with her new partner. As far as I can tell, she seems very happy!

Oh and I didn’t visit my mum much after if left home, she didn’t demand or expect it! In those days we kept in touch by letter . Now there is Skype or FaceTime to talk to and see your family on your phone or laptop. Facebook so you can stalk oops I mean follow them to see what they’re up to. It’s a wonderful age to live in if you embrace modern technology!!!!

Go for it!!!!! And if your kids don’t visit you what’s to stop you visiting them? I don’t expect my grown up kids to visit but I make sure I get to see them one way or another. I get the train and meet halfway. I have had my grandaughter to stay with me from a very young age (she used to love going on holiday to Nana’s house but is 12 now and prefers to stay near her friends.) I re-married at the age of 68 and am further away but wouldn’t have it any other way. There aren’t many decent
unattached blokes around and if you find one, keep him!!!! Good luck! Be happy x

Hi Alegria, I am in the same situation as you at the moment...but I have grandchildren......I dont want to lose this chance of spending time with my partner after spenting some years on my own..
My one Daughter lives 20min away,but she wont visit,she wants me to stay on my own.
My other Daughter with my Grandchildren will be 2 hrs away.............I am really undecided as to what to do.....

I would go for it. I have had a problem similar to this in that I have elderly parents who I couldn't leave and I amicably gave up a good relationship for them. I have no regrets as they've been good parents and are elderly but I think your children are capable of travelling to see you and it's different.

I felt I couldn't leave parents for a newish relationship. My response would have been difficult in an established relationship perhaps if there had been a job relocation which couldn't be avoided.

Good luck!

Wife you rarely see your children and gave a chance at a new life, go for it. It's no fun being alone if you need companionship, I missed my chance at a new start and wished now I hadn't.

Lucky you living so close. My son and daughter live a plane ride away. Your children are grown with their own lives. Keep in touch but go live yours. Wishing you happiness ?

I live an hour and a half away from my daughter and I see that as "living close". I see them every week and pick up her children from school every Friday. I thought you were going to say you were going to another country or something.

Whether or not they choose to visit you is another thing entirely. No point living in fear that it won't happen though. Enjoy your life now - move to be with your man and have a great time !

You may find you see more of them if you aren’t so close. A family day now and again or invitations for specific events, if grandchildren arrive its easy enough to get to them and when older they will love coming to stay. Talk to them, an hour and a half is nothing. A big change is bound to feel scary but you are allowed to be happy you really are.

Thank you for all your lovely messages. It’s my first post on here.
Me visiting my children is no problem at all. It’s wether they will visit me.
But I guess when I move away it will be good to organise big family get togethers. I guess it’s just that next stage of my life that’s exciting and scary too. Thank you everyone x

I thought you were going to say you were moving abroad.
1 1/2 hrs is nothing. Why can't you visit them when you move. It takes me over an hr when I take my granddaughter to school.