Sons marriage in crisis

I'm sorry to hear your son has suffered for so long, my boy has his first CBT tomorrow, he was starting privately last week but the NHS really came up trumps with a fast track due to having such a young family, a cancellation came up and he was top of the list thank goodness, we have been doing endless googling to understand how CBT works and have been following advice on how we should react around him, things are beginning to make sense in his head and I'm so grateful for all your support today you have really given me the lift I needed Xx

A bad time for you. (But you are in no way responsible for your son's condition - he's a grown man, and as such, the responsibility for this break down is his.) Luckily, he is getting the help that he needs now, so hopefully will be able to sort himself out, given time. I think that you and your husband are the rocks that he and your daughter-in-law need right now.

Be strong and sensible in the situation, and save your 'upset' for when you and your husband are alone, when you can share your feelings in private.

I'm guessing that your daughter-in-law will be devastated by this - especially as your son said things to her which she may find hard to forgive. She will also be so tired with an 8-month old baby, and being back to work as well. And now she has been left with everything to cope with, on her own. I'm sure that she will appreciate your support and love at this hard time for her.

Perhaps you could take care of your lovely granddaughter sometimes, just to give her a break ...? (I think you said you were already doing that.)

I do hope that your son gets better and returns to his wife and child soon.

It sounds to me that you are doing all the right things. Keep on. And keep your chin up! Good luck.

Feeling much brighter today after all your help and advice yesterday and slept the best I have in ages last night ?
We have granddaughter a lot , always have done and even more so now, could just eat her! My life consists of working , cleaning and childcare but I love it ?

Good to hear that Jobey68. Sleep is a great healer. I’m just off to look after my littlest grandson (2yrs) they’re a huge blessing ?

Thank goodness you are feeling a bit better today Jobey68, sleep helps a lot. Try and keep strong and keep your pecker up if you know what I mean. It's difficult but your daily routines sound so like mine but wouldn't change it for the world. enjoy your day try and relax.

Ýou sounď like a lovely family and I would think that is why your son was able to talk about it. Your dil àlso sounds lovely ànd she would probably benefit from some professional help too. People with mental health problems hide their problems from themselves and their families às thèy don't understand what's going on (I know this from experience ) so don't feel guilty but I know it's hard. Wish you all the very best and let us all know how things are going xx

My heart breaks for you. I do hope everything works out for you all. I would be equally shattered if my middle son's little family was rocked like this - I so relate to your joy in your tiny granddaughter, being in this situation myself. But none of this upheaval is not your failure as a Mum, please try not to think that, even though I know it's hard, because we Mums so often seem to beat ourselves up over everything that goes wrong with our beloved children. Sending you loads of good wishes that everything turns out well.

Thank you, things are improving day by day, DS and DIL are pulling together and DS is getting the help he needs with all our support, we are certainly in a much better place than we were a few weeks ago ?

That's really good to hear, Jobey68. I hope things continue to get better.

OP, that's fabulous. Mental illness can be very difficult to handle and unfortunately many relationships do not survive mental illness. I'm glad to hear that things are going better and I hope treatment is effective.