Mother of groom wedding invite

We received an invitation to our DS's wedding.
Mr & Mrs *** (bride's parents) request the pleasure etc
A bit weird, but all the more so when you know that we paid £5000 more towards the wedding than her parents did!
We did get a mention in the Order of Service, but at the very bottom of the page, and DH's name was spelled wrongly!
To say I was displeased is a huge understatement, but it's not worth causing a big argument over!

Talking of etiquette. When my DD got married this easter I looked up about weddings and who did what etc just out of interest when I spotted the one which says no-one is to remove their hat until the brides mother removes hers. I left mine on until the evening party. No-one else had except the grooms mother. My MILs face was a picture when I mentioned that others had broken the rule as they had already taken theirs off. I was joking but I don't think she saw it like that haha.

When my daughter got married we sent them to the groom's family, but it was more of a memento for them. I think it's just good manners to send them one .

We went to a Wedding a fortnight ago,I cant remember who sent the invitation, but to reply one had to ring someone.Personally I love the old fashioned way to send and reply to an invitation.The Wedding was unusual to say the least, we live in Sweden.The bride walked down the aisle alone the bridesmaids before her.The reception was like a circus, while waiting for the couple there was a quiz, you had to walk about to find the answers, the quiz was about the couple, we had drinks and small finger food it was a glorious day.After the buffet food, which was delicious there was a rather loud man having a musical quiz, he divided the guests into groups there were sixty guests who had to move forward to where he was and then anyone who knew the music had to shout out.After this we had the Wedding cake etc, then had to move outside while they removed the tables, then it was the Bride and Grooms waltz, at 11pm they opened the bar when most of us "oldies" where leaving, the party went on until 5am.We were quite exhausted with this type of musical chairs Wedding, it was unusual to say the least.

I treasure the invitations to all three daughters’ weddings!
Each was worded along the lines of “A and B and their parents.....” and are a precious souvenir of three special days.

We paid for our daughter’s wedding, her PiL didn’t pay anything towards it, so the the invitations went out with the standard line.....Mr and Mrs M....request the pleasure of etc. This included the invitation to the PiL to be.

I suppose it all depends on what the happy couple want. It rather seems that protocol has gone out the window and maybe with good reason. I hope, if either of my children decide to marry, I will manage to rise above 'issues' and give wholeheartedly and unreservedly. Hasn't happened yet so - who knows?!

I think the norm these days is for the invitation to come from the couple. When our daughter got married a few years ago we paid for 90% of the wedding but we still received an invitation as did the groom's parents. This was mainly so we could have a keepsake -they were beautiful invitations designed by the couple and printed by a friend. When I got married many years ago the invitations came from my parents even though we paid for the wedding (a very simple affair) as my parents couldn't afford it.

I too received an invitation to my son's wedding from his in-laws. I must admit that I thought nothing of it, just thought it was nice to have the momento. I can't remember what we did for my daughter's wedding, her dad and I were divorced by then and although he wasn't contributing anything to the wedding she wanted the traditional invitations going out, the one difference was it was Mrs V (surname) and Mr R (surname rather than Mr and Mrs. I suppose these days anything goes really.

When DH and I were married in 1978 we sent my ILs an invitation from my Mum. They would have expected it and it was a nice keepsake. Fast forward 30 years to our DSx2 weddings when at the time I was working as a Bespoke Wedding Stationer (making high-end handmade stationery) and I was delighted to be asked to make all the stationery for both weddings, and again I followed that custom and sent ourselves an invitation! When I was making stationery for clients I always suggested following the tradition regardless of how formal or informal the occasion was, and I usually made up 3 complete presentation sets of all the stationery for the couple and both sets of parents to keep. When a friend's daughter was married last year I was pleased to be invited but SO disappointed to get a texted invitation. IMO a definite deterioration in communication !

Yes, groom's parents get an invitation to the wedding, it is a tradition followed by everyone that I know.

When my daughters married, their father had been dead for quite a number of years, I wanted him to be part of it with me so the invitations read not Mrs. Annie X but Mrs X X , I used his Christian name

The last few weddings I have attended the invitation has come from the bride and groom as I assume they organised and paid for it. I think the invite should come form those that paid for it.

We had one when our eldest son got married. I think it depends also on the class status too. My DiL parents are very wealthy and like to do things in a traditional way. As we are the same I don't find it odd

crystaltips When our youngest son was married I mentioned the hat custom to the bride's mother who was unaware of it. With a mischievous grin she said 'We'll do that'. At the reception the MC asked the ladies to keep their hats on until the bride's mother removed hers. Several times she adjusted her hat and the lady guests watched expectantly. By the end of the speeches she and I were in fits of giggles, so she finally removed her hat flamboyantly tossing it in the air, I did the same and other ladies followed suit. The old fashioned traditions can still be fun at todays weddings.

When I was married in 1985 the invitations were the traditional way - (my mother) requests the pleasure of (x) at the wedding of her daughter to ... When my son got married last year the invitations were from bride and groom. I think some people still follow the old convention but these days it is less common for the bride's parents to foot the whole bill so I guess things are changing.

I remember my future MIL becoming very irate when she received an invitation from my parents to our wedding - "I don't need an invitation to my son's wedding" was the least of it but my husband calmed her down by saying the invitation was really for the reception which my parents did contribute to and my in-laws did not (we got a toaster from them!)

When we got married,in 1976,my parents sent out the invites to the main wedding and my husband to be and I sent out the evening invites .....my parents paid for the wedding my mother in law made my dress,the maid of honours dress,3 bridesmaids dresses,1 flower girl dress and 2 page boy outfits I just had to supply the material (which was bought using staff discount from Debenhams where I worked)
When my sons got married the oldest 2 sent out their own invites,as they paid for the wedding,but we didn’t get an invite to youngest sons wedding as it was arranged a week before we flew out to see them in San Francisco,so the only guests were the brides parents,a couple of friends who lived out there and us ...... basically they panicked after Donald Trump was elected president and she said she couldn’t risk losing our son even though he was out there legitimately working with a proper work visa paid for by the company he works for..... and now has his green card

Nanny41. As a church choir member, I see quite a few weddings. In many cases, these days, the bridesmaids parade down the aisle in front of the bride.

I think that they have watched too many American films and tv programmes. It seems to be the norm over there.

Personally, I think that it looks rather strange. The bridesmaids are supposed to be attending to the bride, not ignoring her.

Other American ideas, such as throwing the bouquet, and 'winning' the bride's garter, seem to be catching on, too.

What does everyone one here think? Do you prefer tradition, or new ideas?

It's a lovely thing to receive an invitation to your son's or daughter's wedding, and something nice to keep.

Yes, it still happens, but probably not at every wedding, as another poster said it’s a keepsake for parents.
When all our children got married, they sent the invitations themselves though.

Does anyone still have a bit of wedding cake?

Depends on who is hosting (ie paying & calling the shots). If the mother-of-the-bridezilla is paying and taking control...its usually done the old school way.

If its a collaboration or just couple paying & planning the invites come from the couple.

I've known couples who forget to count THEMSELVES in their numbers so imagine that sometimes the obvious "given" invites get forgotten.

Also a lot of people these days aim to be eco friendly and invite verbally or by email with no paper invite at all.

I'm going to a wedding soon where the five adult bridesmaids will walk in front of the bride. This seems very strange to me since, like GreenGran78, I thought the bridesmaids role was to attend to the bride. It might also reduce the impact of the arrival of the bride , in all her finery, if she's behind five other females. We'll see. The invitation came from the couple getting married, who have paid most of the substantial cost of the wedding themselves, with small contributions from their parents.

My mother in law threw a right wobbly because her and her husband's names weren't on the invitations. She didn't calm down until her daughters pointed out that their husbands to be parents names weren't on their wedding invitations and it was only the bride's parents names that should be there.