Adult sulking - advice please

Gosh bootie41 that's very sad. I hope you have got friends and family to support you.

Toffee lots of warning bells here with this man-child.
Sulking is awful, and to do it so early in your relationship is a good indicator of the nature of the man.
I would also be very wary of the alcohol consumption.

This man doesn't really appear to have much going for him, does he?

Condolences to you Bootie. I am very sorry.

Aww Bootie sending you lots of love xxx

It must be so wearing Toffee.
I think you know deep down what you need to do.
Follow your instinct. Good luck. ?

Bootie41, how terribly sad for you. There are never any adequate words, but I really am sorry for your loss.

So very sorry Bootie 41.

This has happened to me over decades and yes it destroys you eventually. It is a control method . As it is a new relationship and you don't live together I would get out quick the quicker the better and find someone who dose t sulk. They must be around.

Thank you for your advice. Its certainly given me some things to think about!
First and foremost communication is important in relationships. If you can't talk and receive feedback especially to resolve issues then there is no point. I understand time out to process against sulking!
The stress of 'walking on egg shells' is toxic and very draining.
Life is too short and there is enough stress out there without coming home to it.
I told him the consequences of sulking and withholding and he still did it again.......not a keeper as he doesn't respect me or our relationship.
Agree I would be banging my head against a brick wall to continue with this.
Again thank you

The above for Bootie41

So sorry to hear about your husband bootie41 my thoughts are with you.
Take care of yourself

LTB means " Leave the Bastard" and it is a very frequent piece of advice given on here regardless of the wrongs that have been perpetrated on the poster, anything from him burning the toast to something more serious.

OP (original poster) I wish you well but I don't think you will break up the r/ship - maybe not now but hopefully in the near future.

Just watched a ted talk that touched on sulking. It’s when we expect others to understand our feelings or thoughts without explaining how we are feeling. We have to teach them what is going on in our heads and lives. Came through it on ubube Marie forleo, talk on bereavement if you want to search

bootie41 So sorry for you. Hope you feel the sympathy that is being sent to you. ?? and hugs. Hope you’ve got friends and family around you. Xx

bootie I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
It must have been difficult to post, especially on this thread.
Maybe you could start a thread where you could come back to talk and allow GN to walk along with you and share experiences which might help.
I sincerely hope you are well supported at home.

bootie41.

Well done Toffee. ? Good decision, he's not a keeper. Stay strong and don't fall for the next round of "love bombing" no matter how contrite he appears and how "everything is going to be different now". He hasn't changed in the past and he isn't going to change now. And don't fall for the old he "just needs the love of a good woman" line.

I would think about when he sulks. Is it continual or is it at certain times? My late husband was impossible to talk to when he was hungry but fed I could get anything from him. He never cottoned on to this. After he died I had a long term partner who sometimes needed to have space to himself when he came home to calm down. After several rows with me thinking it was me upsetting him we developed the I'm Garbo" shorthand for "It is nothing to do with anything you have done but I need to be alone to calm down and then I can be decent company" both of us used it at times. It lets you both be in the mood to talk and cuts out lots of tension. 2 very happy relationships only ended when they died and both still missed a lot.

He sounds like a narcissist to me. I spent 6 years of my life with one of those and wish I had walked away at the start, I would have saved myself so much grief. They always go for nice people who have qualities they lack. They will never change so you will do well to leave now. You're worth more.

bootie41,

So sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and prayers your way.

Toffee71,

Glad to hear you made the wise decision. Never settle until you find someone worthy who can also make you happy!

Best, Willa

Leave him in his cave! Read men are from Mars Women are from Venus. The more you try to persuade him to come out the longer he will stay there. He may have a problem he's trying to sort out in his head and just needs space to do so.

Toffee71 I think you have already decided to end it but I just wanted to say you deserve someone in your life who will make you feel good about yourself - someone who spits his dummy out and stamps his feet will not do that. Good luck

So sorry for your loss, bootie41.
At least it sounds as though you have some good and loving memories to hold on to as time passes and you begin to live again.
Hugs and blessings.

It's a form of control and only leads to being picked to pieces bit by bit. Bet he did this as a child and it got him whatever or wherever he wanted. I lived with this for 35 years until he died.