New man

what sad lives so many of you must have if the first thing you think of is "they're worried about their inheritance" Its not 3 YEARS since they lost their dad ,for goodness sake I'd think it was odd if they didn't miss him and worry their mum was jumping into a new realtionship too soon.
My lovely dad died over 24 years ago and I miss him every single day

" the boys" aren't boys. They are grown men. Their mother is an adult with all her faculties. Good Luck to her.

so "grown men" shouldn't grieve ? Or worry about a grieving parent?

Paddyann - I must agree with you that 6 weeks is ridiculously quick. I can see 100% why people would be hurt and upset at that.

I have been following this thread with interest and totally agree that, if the sons are purely worried about their inheritance, they are in the wrong.

If you, the OP, happen to be worried about their inheritance, I daresay you could sort things out with a Solicitor. Up to you and it's your money.

All in all, and I know other people may disagree when they grieve for a beloved parent, I think you are the one who has to be alone and you are entitled to meet someone new.

It is right for your sons to be concerned that you meet somebody nice who will treat you well but, other than that, it is your life. Your sons cannot provide companionship in the same way.

Losing a parent is very different to losing a life partner Paddyann. However much we grieve for our parents (and I still miss my mum after 40 years) we still have the life we have chosen, albeit with a loss.

When you lose your partner you actually lose your life as you have been living it. It’s lonely. Filling your day is difficult. Cooking and shopping for one is miserable. Having nobody to discuss things with makes you anxious. Finding that you are now the person responsible for everything is scary.

Some come to terms with a life alone, with children providing what comfort and companionship they can. Others find the loneliness unbearable and are open to finding new affection and companionship, if not love.

3 years may not seem long to the sons but I can promise you they have been 3 very long, hard years for the OP.

My previous posting may have been rather tongue in cheek, but I hold to it. Unless the sons are prepared to devote their time and lives to filling the emotional chasm left by their fathers death and are prepared to share responsibilities and help whenever needed, they should be happy for her.

Goodnanny your reply that they told you they just find it all rather weird suggests that with time things will settle down, so enjoy your new relationship and perhaps just don't talk to them about it too much, they sound more concerned about your welfare than their possible inheritance.

let your grief be a point of growth and wish your mother well.

I am in a similar position to Goodnanny. I had been alone for over 15 years. My DC finally left home 9 years ago to live with partners after DGC were born. My last parent died a few years ago.
I was OK to do babysitting, running around and "lending" money but I was never kept company or any understanding shown for my utter loneliness.
Last year I met someone. At that point I was babysitting from picking up from school until late at night. It is nice to have DGC but they are not adults to have meaningful conversations with. I never had conversations with DC when picking up DGC just arrived picked up DGC and set off home.
I had hospital appointments but it was a struggle for a while to get anyone to come with me. Several times I have had to go alone.
New man is still working doing shift work. Babysitting times meant that we could hardly get any time together. I didn't think it right to introduce DGC without their DP, my DC, having already been introduced.
New man knew that I was going to be at a certain place and came to take me for coffee. He saw DC shouting at me. He was with me another day when I got a phone call and had to dash off for the sake of DGC who was in a questionable position. He followed and again saw me getting shouted at. He was not impressed.
I would have been in dire trouble if I had acted like that in the presence of their partners. I would be in even more trouble if I ever criticised their partners
I agree with Elegantine. DC do not want to keep us company and be with us as much as a DP or New Man would. After one of the deaths my DCs left me alone within the hour! I thought that was shocking. They only ever spend a night in my home if it suits their shifts.
I don't know if my DC or other peoples' DC are concerned about inheritance but these kinds of actions are not going to enhance the chance of being favoured in my Will. I have watched what New Man does, I have watched how his ADC have been with me and I am not happy with my ADCs' conduct.
Watching this with vested interest.