husband and children/grandchildr en

Eglantine is right, loneliness within a marriage is worse than being alone. If its possible to do as Granny23 suggests and live separately for a while this would help clarify things and reduce your stress levels. I really don't see any positives for you, estranged from part of your family and living with a man who does not appreciate you. I can't see him changing after all this time so you must for the sake of your health and family.

Manny, loneliness within marriage is much, much worse than being single. . You’re having a horrible life because you dread having a horrible life.

Now that doesn’t make sense does it? ?

You're right on all counts, Eglantine. I'm afraid of loneliness, I suppose. I really wanted to spend the last years of my life feeling some measure of contentment. And we were happy at one time. But that's all gone. The loneliness within marriage is almost worse

Unfortunately because of his age I fear he is unlikely to change his ways, and his behaviour is having such a bad effect on your health.

In your situation and for all the reasons you have mentioned, I think I would accept that the marriage is over and separate.

I looked you up manny and see that you posted the same problem two years ago. You weren’t happy then and you’re even more unhappy now.

Do you want to just let off steam? And to have everyone agree how difficult he is ? That’s fine, we all do it.

But if you want a solution it lies in your hands. Two years, manny and it’s the same problem. You can’t change what he does, you can change what you do.

The first thing that popped into my head was that you need a break from each other. You say that you have two homes, so would it be possible to have a lengthy period apart, one in each house? This would allow you to take stock, relax and see if your health improves. It is obvious that the stress and strain of this situation is taking its toll.

The bottom line is that you should not be having to take medication and visit a therapist to ameliorate the effects of HIS problem.

Yes, Jennifer. I am determined to stay close to my family. There was no big falling out and he keeps saying 'I have nothing against them'
He has been in one daughter's house once - for a matter of hours. He has never been in my son's house. I don't understand any of it.

This is an awful situation for you.
There is presumably a reason why he has taken against your other two children? Was there a falling out at some point, or is it just maybe a clash of personalities?
You sound certain that the fault doesn't lie with them.

Whatever the reason is many make absolutely sure it does not adversely affect your relationship with those two offspring. You would never forgive yourself if you do.

Sorry manny,, but I have no idea why you are staying in a marriage that makes you unhappy and ill.

Can you answer why?

That's a question I ask myself increasingly. He was appreciative and affectionate at the start of our relationship. We've been together for over eight years now, but these issues just won't go away. I understand that he needs to have interests, but his interests are all-consuming. I now feel like a housekeeper rather than a wife.

You say you do not want to separate, what keeps you together? it sounds miserable form what you say.