When to revive a friendship.

FarNorth, you could be right. I am the sort of person who talks to anyone, I think I learnt that when I was a young mother and moved to a new estate that was just being built. As one of the last ones to move in, everyone else already seemed to have their own little group of friends. It was a case of either go up to folk and just start to chat about something or end up standing at the window watching them all go in and out of each other’s homes for a cuppa etc. I soon got fed up looking out the window lol!

With such things, I always think that we probably both thought about the lost closeness over the years and I just happen to be the one who got to making that phone call first.

It makes sense.

I agree with Pearlsaminger. It is said you don't really know a person until you live with them.
I used to meet a friend almost weekly for coffee and we got on together really well.
We then decided to go on holiday together and it was disastrous. Our relationship just did not work.
I don't think she realised how 'bossy' she was and over coffee was fine - but on a holiday where I lived with her 24/7 - no.
I have a wide circle of friends but a very special one who I have been friends with for over 50 years. We only see each other 2 or 3 times a year and yet I still class her as my closest and 'very best' friend. Sometimes, I refer to people as friends when they are just close acquaintances. They are still important though and I would not be offended if one of them rung me up to go for a coffee or if I rung them and they were not available.

MagicWriter2016 it could just be that they lack confidence that you will want to hear from them. When you are the one to make contact they are delighted.
I tend to think people won't be very interested in hearing from me but I contact them anyway and it often works out very well. (If it doesn't, I've lost nothing.)

I would suggest a weekend away to begin with - dipping a toe in the water. Maybe with a theme that you've both been interested in, e.g. theatre or exhibition?

I am beginning to think that we either fall into the group of friends who do the asking/organising or into the group who wait to be asked. I always seem to be in the former group and have waited to see if certain friends contact me first, and no they don’t, but when I contact them I will get ‘oh, I was just thinking about you’. It can be disconcerting sometimes and you do sometimes question whether they really want to be your friend or not.

Lancslass1 - Thank you for your apology which is accepted and no grudges held. I don't believe there is a problem saying you agree with certain people and mentioning there names. I would say it's more about being respectful to others .

I shared a room on a group holiday with a friend and as we got on well we rented a cottage together this summer. It was great fun and I am sure we will do it again soon, My only worry was that I am a bit tight when it comes to spending money and she isn't! We solved that by having a kitty. Fortunately the very expensive restaurant we tried on the first night was not really very good so we ate well at home most evenings Why not join the U3A and go on one of their holidays. You would also make a lot of new friends there.

It's forgotten lancslass, thank you.

Molly 10 and Willow 10 I apologise to you both.
I am new to this site and realise I should not have mentioned either of you by name.
Perhaps someone can tell me whether I was in order for me to mention the two people with whom I agreed
If it wasn't ,then I apologise to them also.
In my ignorance I thought that had Cabbie 21 read my post and referred back to the ones I mentioned it might help her in making a decision.
Well,I have learned by my mistake as it is certainly not my intention to upset anybody and thank you Molly 10 for making me aware of the rules of this site.

I have a group of local friends and we went away for a long weekend . It was fun! We did not know each other very well but it all worked out ok!

I have a feeling that might have been meant for me lancslass1? Either way Molly10 is right - the OP was asking for suggestions and we should all be free to give them without being criticised or singled out.

Lancslass1, how rude to single my comments out like that.

For one I never mentioned an e-mail or letter and certainly not out of the blue asking to go on holiday. I also never asked her to do as I say as you suggested. My words were merely encouragement, as Cabbie21 has already said she has a lot in common with at least one friend.

Yes, we are all different and just because some like to go on holiday on their own or have had bad experiences holidaying with friends does not mean she should not proceed down that road.

Like others the suggestions are made for her to judge her best options.

How lovely that the widowed lady above was thrilled to be asked in her local church. Well done.

Time does whizz by and you suddenly realise you have not contacted people. I have had experience of holidays being spoiled by friends behaving selfishly. A weekend break is a good way to find out if you are compatible in a holiday setting.
I wouldn't worry too much about being the organiser of this, I find that usually there is one person in a group who keeps in touch and plans for everyone ( usually me )
Suggest a day out to break the ice and see how the land lies.

My neighbour is going on holiday next month with a lady from her church. Her husband will be away on business for three weeks and she decided she would go away too. She simply asked around her church if anyone wanted to go with her. The lady who said yes is a widow and was thrilled at the chance. My neighbour says they will give each other space if they find each others company too much. I think she's brilliant for doing this.

I am with Pearlaminger and Coconut on this one.
If a friend of mine whom I haven't seen for a while asked me to go on holiday with her I would want to say "No thanks"
You are unlikely to want to do the same things,get up at the same time,eat in the evenings at the same time or go to bed at the same time.
You will still be classed as a single person because surely you wouldn't want to share a room with someone else.
You and she will need time to yourselves.
I love to travel by myself.
I can please myself where I go and what I do.
I have never been on a Singles holiday but I imagine that would give the best of both worlds.
Molly 10 if Cabbie21 does as you say her letter or email could embarrass the friend who may like me not want to share a holiday with anybody else.
We are all different.

I do think this is an age thing family commitments etc but you all have to make sure you keep in touch. I have small circle of friends who I see three monthly and one I see monthly due to work commitments and family but I look foreard to keeping in touch and love our confess and birthday teas.

Singles holidays always push up the prices if you don't want to share a room and single rooms are often not very desirable. I've climbed many stairs, with luggage (no porters nowadays in your average hotel) to the very top floor, the attic.
Not any more.
I stay in airbnbs which are much more civilised and make my own itinery.

Thanks for the replies. It is not just about holidays, but you have given me some useful suggestions.
Funnily one of the people I had in mind to get in touch with rang up yesterday! We had left it that she would make the next move yet months had gone by. No date fixed yet but at least I know she still wants to meet. Just not perhaps very often. Another is someone I knew before who has recently moved into the area. As yet she has not taken up my offfer to meet up. Another is an old school friend. We met back in May but have heard nothing since. Maybe I am not good enough company?
I often don’t realise till very short notice that I have a free day coming up, and it seems like too much pressure to ring someone after a long gap to ask if they happen to be free.
Just at the moment I can’t book anything much as I am waiting to finalise dates for various workmen to come.
It is nice to have sites like GN to chat .

I might try a Just You holiday. I have one good friend I go away with now and then but there are some places she refuses to go to and she has other friends she goes away with.

I am on my own all the time so like company to share experiences with.

Cabbie, I think you need to revive the friendships a little more before you can suggest taking a holiday together. Spend some time with whoever is available, and then, at some point, bring up the holiday idea.

Try saying (or writing) ' By the way, if ever you feel like a holiday but don't want to go it alone - I'd be happy to accompany you.' That puts the ball in their court and they can either respond positively or ignore it.

That did remind me of the time when myself and DH went on holiday with another couple we know well. They did nothing but bicker with each other all day long, not arguments just constant sniping, very wearing. They are fine for an evening out, not for a holiday.

The people that go on group holidays seem to do it time and time again, often with a "travel buddy" who they don't see otherwise. The longest I have heard is 24 trips, that was a girl maybe 35yrs, her boyfriend was a keen cyclist, she couldn't keep up so she did holidays - it takes all kinds.

I think you may have to suggest the holiday idea to see how the land lies.

It could be they are just busy and don't get to make the first move.

It could be they are reserved and would never suggest that idea.

It could just be what they are waiting for so why wait...ask!

I have two friends of many years standing; usually just as I begin to think that I must contact one or other, they ring me. I always end up saying 'I was thinking of you and just about to ring'... and how we laugh (!) They know that I am not that quick on the uptake with contact but that we care about each other and they are simply more efficient.