When to revive a friendship.

Cabbie, why don't you make the first move and suggest a holiday. I take it you are single. Make a suggestion to a few of them and see what responses you get. You have to be very likeminded to share a holiday together.
We used to be a group of 3 and went together on a few holidays. But recently, one of them is very involved with the grandkids because her daughter has gone back to work. I fully understand that. But the other friend has an absolutely ridiculous reason for not wanting to accompany me on a holiday. She is so obsessed with one of her granddaughters (she has 2 other grandkids) she doesn't want to leave her for a week. I have 5 grandkids of my own. I love them but I am not obsessed with them. I see 3 of them fairly regularly- my son's girls, not that often, but that's another story.
So I guess, I will have to start making new friends. I belong to a seniors group but I have not made any real friends there. It's very difficult when you're on your own, isn't it Cabbie ?

Thanks for your reply, crazyH. I am not single, but my husband does not want as many holidays as I do. One of my friends is in the same boat, and another is a widow. I think we share a lot of interests, but I am not sure I could ask either of them outright at the moment as we haven’t met up for a few months. Maybe they would not want to consider it.

It is hard to get beyond casual friendship really, even with people you really click with.

I'm sure men are not as adventurous as women I have been on several group holidays as a single, and at least two thirds are women some singles, some with friends, most of the rest couples with a few single men and I have never come across male friends together.
Men of course go on boys trips, golf, boating, cars, bikes but generally tend to stay at home and that makes them dead boring in my opinion.
Go on a group holiday they are great I can particularly recommend " Explore"

I have had friendships like this. If you enjoy seeing these people, I'd keep reviving the friendship. If there are some people you can do without, I'd leave it to them to get in touch.

Holidays - why not go on a holiday for single people? There are lot of firms who run these. I think they are great.

Why not see if either would be interested in a short break?
Maybe a show and an overnight stay somewhere?

Me, I say yes to anything. If someone suggested a break I’d jump at it, or a show, or an exhibition.

Why not suggest a preChristmas (sorry, sorry - the C word) jolly somewhere.

There’s several on offer from a day trip to a stately home to a few days abroad.

When we were working, it was always she who contacted me. Now we're retired, it's me who emails her and initiates contact. Weird!

In my experience, Just You are the best company to offer singles' travel holidays. Why are people so afraid and apologetic when mentioning Christmas! Traditionally, the UK is a Christian county; I'm an atheist but I'm all for tradition- our traditions.

If you don't specially long to go on holiday with those particular friends, but just want company then maybe on a single / solo holiday you might make friends with one or more who you could holiday with in future.

I’ve had some fabulous holidays with Just You as well, quizqueen.

I hesistated to mention Christmas because it’s TOO EARLY, except if the OP wants a little jolly they are getting booked up!

Be careful what you wish for... I went on holiday with my ‘best’ friend of 20 years... we knew each other inside out. Or so I thought...

You really never know someone until you holiday or live with them! And she wasn’t the person I thought she was. Very selfish with no regard for anyone else. Her behaviour was abusive and shocking.

That was 2014... I’ve seen her half a dozen times since - she’s one of those people who will invite you to see her at her house, (but not always remember she’s invited you til you’ve driven the 20 miles there, called her, to be told ‘Oh I forgot, and I’m out for the day now!) but won’t make any effort whatsoever to come and see you, or even agree a halfway meet.

I’ve not spoken to her in 19 months now. Why? Because I gave up doing all the running. I stopped messaging to see how long it took her to get in touch. To see if I was ok. To even say hello. It hasn’t happened yet... She likes posts I put up on FB but can’t send a message through. And my heels are firmly dug in now. I point blank refuse to contact her.

And the thing I’ve discovered most... is that I don’t miss her at all. Maybe she’s found the same, who knows - until she gets in touch to tell me!

We have a group gets together every now and then and it's always the same person who sends out the invitation. We love getting together, so we're really glad she takes the trouble but, tbh, we might not make the effort to arrange meeting up. Why not arrange another get together and just drop the idea of a holiday casually into the conversation? Perhaps 'Oh, I've really enjoyed meeting up with you again - it would be so nice if we could make it longer. What do you think about a day out/city break/weekend away?" Then you can see if they are interested without it appearing to be a 'formal' invitation. Personally I agree with Pearlsaminger - you don't know someone until you've been on holiday with them so a short break would probably be enough to start with.

Altho I have regular contact with most friends, none of them want to do the same holidays as me. Some have partners, some don’t have the money and some have a different bucket list than me. So I travel with a Singles Co and am having an amazing time, Jazz tour from Chicago to New Orleans, the Rio Carnival, Venetian River Cruise and off to Lake Como for the New Year. There’s a saying “ if I wait for someone to come with me I won’t go anywhere” so look at what’s on offer for us Singles, the world is truly your oyster !

I have two friends of many years standing; usually just as I begin to think that I must contact one or other, they ring me. I always end up saying 'I was thinking of you and just about to ring'... and how we laugh (!) They know that I am not that quick on the uptake with contact but that we care about each other and they are simply more efficient.

I think you may have to suggest the holiday idea to see how the land lies.

It could be they are just busy and don't get to make the first move.

It could be they are reserved and would never suggest that idea.

It could just be what they are waiting for so why wait...ask!

That did remind me of the time when myself and DH went on holiday with another couple we know well. They did nothing but bicker with each other all day long, not arguments just constant sniping, very wearing. They are fine for an evening out, not for a holiday.

The people that go on group holidays seem to do it time and time again, often with a "travel buddy" who they don't see otherwise. The longest I have heard is 24 trips, that was a girl maybe 35yrs, her boyfriend was a keen cyclist, she couldn't keep up so she did holidays - it takes all kinds.

Try saying (or writing) ' By the way, if ever you feel like a holiday but don't want to go it alone - I'd be happy to accompany you.' That puts the ball in their court and they can either respond positively or ignore it.

Cabbie, I think you need to revive the friendships a little more before you can suggest taking a holiday together. Spend some time with whoever is available, and then, at some point, bring up the holiday idea.

I might try a Just You holiday. I have one good friend I go away with now and then but there are some places she refuses to go to and she has other friends she goes away with.

I am on my own all the time so like company to share experiences with.

Thanks for the replies. It is not just about holidays, but you have given me some useful suggestions.
Funnily one of the people I had in mind to get in touch with rang up yesterday! We had left it that she would make the next move yet months had gone by. No date fixed yet but at least I know she still wants to meet. Just not perhaps very often. Another is someone I knew before who has recently moved into the area. As yet she has not taken up my offfer to meet up. Another is an old school friend. We met back in May but have heard nothing since. Maybe I am not good enough company?
I often don’t realise till very short notice that I have a free day coming up, and it seems like too much pressure to ring someone after a long gap to ask if they happen to be free.
Just at the moment I can’t book anything much as I am waiting to finalise dates for various workmen to come.
It is nice to have sites like GN to chat .

Singles holidays always push up the prices if you don't want to share a room and single rooms are often not very desirable. I've climbed many stairs, with luggage (no porters nowadays in your average hotel) to the very top floor, the attic.
Not any more.
I stay in airbnbs which are much more civilised and make my own itinery.

I do think this is an age thing family commitments etc but you all have to make sure you keep in touch. I have small circle of friends who I see three monthly and one I see monthly due to work commitments and family but I look foreard to keeping in touch and love our confess and birthday teas.

I am with Pearlaminger and Coconut on this one.
If a friend of mine whom I haven't seen for a while asked me to go on holiday with her I would want to say "No thanks"
You are unlikely to want to do the same things,get up at the same time,eat in the evenings at the same time or go to bed at the same time.
You will still be classed as a single person because surely you wouldn't want to share a room with someone else.
You and she will need time to yourselves.
I love to travel by myself.
I can please myself where I go and what I do.
I have never been on a Singles holiday but I imagine that would give the best of both worlds.
Molly 10 if Cabbie21 does as you say her letter or email could embarrass the friend who may like me not want to share a holiday with anybody else.
We are all different.

My neighbour is going on holiday next month with a lady from her church. Her husband will be away on business for three weeks and she decided she would go away too. She simply asked around her church if anyone wanted to go with her. The lady who said yes is a widow and was thrilled at the chance. My neighbour says they will give each other space if they find each others company too much. I think she's brilliant for doing this.