Not another one!

Internalised misogyny is a hell of a thing.

Probably you're better as you are then crazyH

I think in marriage there needs to be a balance of independence and interdependence.

I agree that women should, ideally, have the option of being a SAHM. My mum was and it was wonderful for us.

The thing is, though, that even as a woman you need to be prepared to lead the family if it should become necessary. There's always the potential that your husband could die suddenly, or become disabled and unable to work. Or you marry Mr. Great and he ends up being Mr. Not-So-Great and he runs off and leaves you with children. You need to be able to make a life for your children in that situation.

Our mum had a BA in French and a MA in political science. She was fully bilingual. Had something happened to our dad, it is likely that she could have pursued a career in the civil service. (In Canada some civil service positions require that you be fluent in both English and French as they are both official languages.) She never had to do that, but it was handy to have that as a backup. She also encouraged my sister and I to pursue higher education. My sister has a certificate in early childhood education and could run her own dayhome should the need arise. I have a Master's of Nursing and work as a nursing instructor. Likely if we have more children I will return to work after mat leave and Hubby will just work casual (as-needed) as a night security guard. (I get 3 months' paid holiday a year so there would be plenty of time available for him to work, plus I don't work weekends.)

For those of you that doubt, the thread had been genuine throughoutand as have the situations detailed. I obviously live in a different world to the majority on this forum.
Contrary to your general view I know plenty of divorced women who benefit considerably from divorce and also quite a few that have tried but have gone with a lot less that they expected, occasionally nothing.
Internalized misogyny, weak, low self esteem and lots of other unpleasant comments have been applied, I'm sorry that your own experiences are so poor that you have to sink that low. Those characteristics would be typical of a woman that only wants direct payment from the men that are attracted to her, with no thought of long term commitment. Not a woman who loves one man and wants to stay with him.

So you have convinced me of two different opinions -:
If you are a young woman whatever else you do get that ring on your finger as soon as you can, choose well and don't turn a good man away.
If you are a young man, find yourself a female companion if that's what you want, treat her well but don't marry her.

Your views have been far more feminist than I expected.

Wow just Wow.
What on earth does "far more feminist than I expected " mean?
Does it mean far less surrendered than I expected?

If you are a young woman whatever else you do get that ring on your finger as soon as you can, choose well and don't turn a good man away.
If you are a young man, find yourself a female companion if that's what you want, treat her well but don't marry her.

Those two options sum up the scenario you described regarding your very pretty daughter and the man she eventually managed to get to marry her Diana.

I am rather - is that what you would recommend to young men and women today or is that what you assume posters mean?

I obviously live in a different world to the majority on this forum.
I think that is very obvious

Contrary to your general view I know plenty of divorced women who benefit considerably from divorce

On TV/movies/novels/magazines.

But those of us who are able to make real connections with other humans hear their experiences and see how hard financially, practically and emotionally a split is on everyone.

No notanan2 there are such women in real life. They use their children as weapons and a means of extracting money from their ex. We had one such marry into our family and I have heard of others.. The concept that all women are angels and never do wrong is false. Some women can behave very badly.

If a woman (or man) is the resident parent then het character doesn't come into it Trisher. She should be supported by the non resident parent. It really doesn't matter if she is an "angel" or not.

Being a resident parent is not a profitable business model.

Of course some women are selfish and self centred, the same thing can be said of men. This competitive my DiL is worse than your DiL strain running through this thread is rather unpleasant and says little to advantage of those taking part

There are also unpleasant self centred families and I can only assume that Diana was unfortunate enough to be born or to marry into such a family.

Many women have to make sure that when a marriage breaks up they get as much of the family assets as possible, because they usually have the primary cost and expense of bringing up the children, which by definition makes it very difficult for them to enter fully into the employment market to earn the enhanced income needed by one parent to do this. A significant proportion of men neither pay the maintenance they are meant to pay, or not with any regularity and others get out of paying any at all.

It is only women with well paid careers which they can continue in and still manage the responsibilities of being a single parent who can afford to be magnanimous in the division of marital assets.

A significant proportion of men neither pay the maintenance they are meant to pay, or not with any regularity and others get out of paying any at all.
Very true M0nica*, especially if they are self-employed or working in a family business.

It's amazing what some men will do to avoid contributing to the upbringing of their children.