New man friend but

Just a little aside about 'sparks'.

Must admit that when I first met OH there was no spark. I didn't really fancy him but he was a nice, fairly quiet man. As I got to know him better (we had mutual friends) I got to like him more. He became a great friend and companion - still no romance. However, he grew on me, made me laugh, liked doing the same things I did so the more we socialised the stronger the friendship grew. And suddenly it was love. Real love, I cannot imagine life without him now.

So don't dismiss the men who do not 'spark' initially. There are some good ones out there, truly decent, kind and fun, who hide their light under a bushel until you know them a little better.

Mind you Maggie - your park friend doesn't sound like one of them!

Any bloke lunging at me constantly without the come-hither signs from me, ie: mutual attraction, would be given short shrift. He sounds like a chancer who wants more than you are prepared to give. His home situation sounds decidedly dodgy too imo.

You know this isn't for you.

There would have to be a flame, never mind a spark for me at our time of life.
Sparks soon die out, some flames flicker and die, but we cannot take the risk that it is not the real thing.
Think very hard with your brain and not anything else.
Lunging is "bleu"
You deserve more than that.

He's not pushing me particularly but keeps trying to kiss me which I don't like. I have to admit that I had too much to drink on one occasion and allowed him to, so maybe I'm sending mixed messages. I'm not sure how I feel about him romantically in any case (there isn't a huge spark of attraction for me yet)

You have answered your own question.
Mixed messages or not, his attentions are Neanderthal, I would cut and run.( Fast and in the opposite direction)

I totally agree with Apricity.

I think he may be lining up his next housekeeper before leaving the marital home.

It’s hard to fancy older men isn’t it?

You've said it lemongrove,hahahahaha.

I would be very wary of the fact he still loves in the same house as his wife.
Is this true?
Do not take the relationship any further until the move away has been made and he lives independently.
I'd also be questioning if he's setting you up to be be next "carer" or "domestic goddess" if he can't be bothered or is unable to look after himself.
Be cautious

All of you are right and I think my problem was not listening to my gut feelings at the beginning. Too many complications - the not quite ex-wife, the lunging and the distinct lack of spark. Ah well, we live and learn...(even at 61).

I think the lunging, when you have said you don’t like it, speaks volumes. He’s not respecting you. Listen to your gut instinct and follow it.