Children’s inheritance

Why doesn't she offer to sell it to them if they want it so badly

Grabby kids! They pass their attitudes on to their own children and today we have a generation of expectant kids with a serious attack of the gimmes. If there is no provision in the late husbands will then they have no claim, she should just be firm. If it’s really nasty just sell and move, say nothing, it’s hers to do with as she wishes. If she’s not willing to do this, then insist they pay the upkeep and negotiate a lifelong residential agreement rent and expense free for herself. Good luck

I think it has been the norm for a while and I think it is awful. My mother was struggling to hold on to her home and I eventually realised that she had stopped seeing it as her home and started seeing it as our inheritance. I told her that we would be fine and that she should use it for her own well being. It simply hadn't occurred to her because her mind had become focused on wanting to leave us something. Now it is just making sure her funeral is paid for.
It is just disgraceful when this comes from the children. Sometimes adult children should be ignored

Katekeeppruning
She has already asked them and they have said they are not millionaires!

Appalling of her children. Not my son's attitude or any of my friends or family's children's attitude. An inheritance is a lovely gift, not an automatic right.

How awful! We’re not all the same, we have often told our parents to spend their money and enjoy their life when they talk about inheritance and shut them down on it. We want them to not be worrying about it tbh. Rather they have and did what they want

As the children obviously feel a sentimental attachment to a home that has belonged both to their parents and grandparents, I would, if I were in your friend's place, OP, find out whether I could sell the house to my children jointly now. You used to be able to do that and it saved death duties on the property too, but I have no idea whether it is still legal to do so.

Frankly, in your friend's place I would tell the children that they would need to be responsible for the upkeep of the house if they want it to remain in the family. After all the older we get the harder it becomes to do repairs ourselves or pay others to do them.

I bet they are not willing to have her come and live with them... She should do as she pleases for her own peace of mind. Maybe a flat in one of the retirement complexes would suit her. They are popping up all over the place.

In your friend's position I would suggest to the "children" that they could buy the house collectively from her, so that they keep the house they love so much, and she gets the funds that she really needs to provide for her own future.

I am basing that on them feeling sentimental about a family home, rather than just seeing pound signs.

If they collectively bought it, they could rent it out to cover the mortgage costs so not being adversely affected themselves, but still having the family home within the family.

If they refuse, they can always draw up a rota to provide care for her when she needs it, and to carry out repairs/maintenance and gardening for her. (I suspect that won't happen.)

lots of good advice ,however I would suggest taking a solicitors or an IFA s advice, because you may have consider future planning, IE have you made a will , IHT potential ,probate costs have now risen substantially .
you may also have to consider possibly of dementia and going into a residential home.power of attorney.etc

sorry to raise these questions , but they should be looked into asap hope this helps

This attitude maddens me too - it is not 'their inheritance' it is the property of mother and if she decides to leave it all to the RSPCA then tough. What a grasping nature to say things like that!

My children have told us to enjoy our life and that they would rather we had a good time than leave them money.

None of their business.

Children's blessing? It's for the owner of the property to do with it as they wish, not for children to assume they will receive anything, not even a penny piece, upon the death of a parent or GP.
That's a step too far.
Mine assume nothing and make their own way in life which is as it should be. Anything bequeathed is a surprise and a bonus.

Quite agree janaNana, very selfish. I think she should sell and move.

I agree with absent, I help out with anything major that my adult children need and have also given them money for the purchase of their homes. I'm not expecting any of this to be returned, but made it clear to them that this is in effect part of their inheritance. By the time DH and I pop our clogs there may not be much left!
Makes much more sense to do it like this, I can see them enjoy what we give them and it makes their lives easier. Also less cash in the pot to be assessed for Inheritance Tax, providing we survive for seven years.

I should also have said that by the time both parents die, most people are well established and don't really need inherited wealth - as GabriellaG said it should be seen as a bonus, not as a right.

Utterly selfish ... if they want the family home let them buy it off her, and let her live her life her own way.

Crazy.H.Never assumeanything where property or money is involved.Take legal advice.

This lady should not have to justify to her ac why she is moving. Get legal advice and if you can do and leave any money to the cats home instead of these grasping children.

crazyH - A will can be written in that way because that is exactly what my In laws have done. It doesn't feel great being excluded from their will even though I've been married to their son for over 40 years. It's something I'm considering as I plan to rewrite my will soon.

I think it depends on the attitude of the children and perhaps the relationship with their parents.
BIL persuaded his mother to stay in her home for as long as possible as she was happier there but even he had to admit that she found it very difficult to manage for the last two or three years. Obviously he was also hoping that he would inherit the house. In the end though she just had to go into a home as her dementia took hold and for peace of mind, etc. He was damned if he did and damned if he didn't. She never settled and blamed him. My advice is to live where you feel you can manage best and to move before your health worsens and the decision is taken out of your hands. Then it will be your decision and you can come to terms with it.

It is not in the children's gift to prevent the selling of the house, your chem can do as she wishes. Perhaps she is afraid of losing them though if she chooses to do so.

What a sad situation it is, really feel for you. It makes me all the more determined to enjoy our SKI holidays- Spending Kids’ Inheritance!

I am assuming that when your friend pops her clogs the children’s ‘ sentimental attachment’ to the family home will quickly disappear! Or do they all intend to live together to keep it in the family?
Sounds like they don’t want their mother benefitting from the sale of HER house, and squandering what they see as their inheritance.

My daughter told me and her stepdad (1st choice died 24 years ago) to go "skiing ! In other words spend the kids inheritance because they didn't expect or need it!!