My hubby and I were both brought up to not talk about sex, and we still don't really. I actually feel quite comfortable about doing so now, but he doesn't. He tries to be a considerate lover but there are a few things I would change. A few things I might like, small things, mostly. One thing is I would like it if he would occasioonally call it 'making love' - now that might sound old fashioned too, but I would just find it a turn on if he offered to make love to me, wheras he can only call it sex or a shag, which I get it doesn't always have to be 'romantic' but it would be nice sometimes. It's not as though there's no tenderness in the sex, he can do different moods, he just can't talk about them.
I bought the book mars and venus in the bedroom, and I rather liked what I read but when I suggested reading it together he was very upset - he clearly felt I was suggesting he needed a manual to set him right.
Any discussion is taken as criticism, and maybe I'm not the best at wording it, I don't know.
It's not that our sex life is awful, it's actually more the lack of freedom to talk about it and to try to convey what I want without words all the time, and he can 'get it' when I do, but talking is important to me too. And yes I do try to bring it up outside the bedroom as more of a chat but he almost runs out the door...
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