Shopping with DH is a nightmare!!

Granny23 have you had a Carer's assessment done? You can qualify for 4 hours per week sitting service, which would enable you to shop on your own? Also if you have a partner with Alzheimer's/Dementia you may not have to pay Council Tax xx

My husband won’t shop....not even for his own nickers. He’d go hungry or bare-arsed rather than shop. Thank goodness ...who needs em whining and moaning behind you all time...not me!

Haha I had a BIL who did the opposite! SIL was always getting home and finding something she had put in the trolley was missing, deemed ‘too expensive’ and put back on the shelf by her DH. She would probably be shopping on line nowadays if he was still alive (she didn’t kill him for interfering ?)

Yellowmellow Thank you for your concern. We are well into this Dementia Journey now and have had the Carers; assessment (also got the Council tax reduction and higher rate AA). Have spent 6 months battling to get a blue badge, which would make supermarket shopping & doctor's appointments easier but am expecting the pilot project will have finished before we get a formal decision I/we were awarded 1 day per week of so-called day care but it is by no means a full day (DH collected at the back of 10am and returned between 2.30/3.00pm.) I use this day to do any major housework, maintenance and admin, to attend my own appointments e.g. at the bank, opticians, doctors, clothes and gifts shopping, visit sick friends, etc. etc. - all the things I cannot do with DH in tow. Once you deduct an hour for travelling to and from town I have only 4 hours a week to do all that.

Send him shopping on his own with a list

I'm semi retired and I hate the fact he comes shopping with me now, strolls off with trolley, which often has my bag/purse in it, then so interested in goods doesn't keep his eye on it whilst I'm left with armfuls of shopping looking for him.
Constantly criticizes what I'm buying but if I've not then brought it, wants the item when we get home. Grrr!
I've found the best thing to do is go to the wine isle first - say choose a bottle of wine and then make a quick escape with the trolley, I can usually do 3 -4 aisles before he's made his mind up (& he doesn't seem to have caught on yet).

It was so relaxed when I did the weekly shop on my own.
Its the same when choosing items for the home, much easier when I just picked paint, curtains, carpets & just showed him a sample.
Hate clothes shopping with him, to its a nightmare! Rings my mobile if I'm in the changing rooms asking how long I'm going to be.
Sent him off on his own last week when he wanted new trousers, will definitely be doing that again.
Still, it would be terrible if he wasn't around.

I've just had a right nightmare shop with mine. I have a Sainsbury's voucher which needs to be used today. I said to him 'can we go to Sainsbury's?' (I don't drive). He said 'What for?' and I explained that I wanted to get a bottle of champagne for someone for Xmas and I had a £10 voucher. Him: 'Well where's Sainsbury's?' I said I had looked on their site and the nearest one was 4 miles away. Him: 'Can't you go on the bus?' Me: 'It's not on a bus route.' Him: (after much puffing and blowing) 'OK' So he sets the satnav up and then complains: 'It says 6 miles here. Is it really worth it with petrol and everything?' I said I thought it was. So he begrudgingly set off. He decided to ignore the satnav and go a different way to 'avoid traffic'. He got in such a lather and I was completely stressed. He said he had no idea where he was and how many sets of traffic lights does one area need, why aren't there any signs to it, where is the entrance to the car park, I'm never coming here again I can tell you that and so on. By this time I was so stressed I felt like running in there, grabbing the champagne and bloomin well quaffing it there and then. He did make me a cup of tea when we got in and apologised. He's normally very good, ferrying me here and there.

My DH insists that "he should come shopping, that it is not fair that I should do it all by myself." Managed to do it for many many years with 3 little ones in tow, but he is useful for loading it in the car. But I can do it so much quicker on my own because he likes to stop and examine things and ask if this would be nice, whilst I know what I want and can be back in half the time. But bless him he means well.

My Husband is like that when he goes shopping on his own, everything is for HIS consumption,he pays so I dont worry

From a male perspective - the thing I don’t understand is why we do the shopping as though time is no object. We wander aimlessly up and down the same aisles two or three times, we loiter to read labels on products we buy regularly, and generally behave as though we have time to kill. But THEN we head for the checkout - and suddenly time is of the utmost importance. We dash from side-to-side hoping to find the one checkout that will get us through a few pico-seconds faster than the others. Sometimes we even gather up shopping that is already on the conveyor in order to dash to a different one that my wife thinks we be marginally faster.

Why?
I don’t get it.
Really I don’t.

It's my husband who feels the need to rush to another checkout to avoid waiting longer. I'm happy to be patient.

Most supermarkets have good man creches ( cafes) so send him there with a newspaper while you do the shopping...’tis what I do!

lefthanded,

It’s the difference between shopping and buying.

Had a good giggle at everyones posts , we are all the same it seems and it has made my day.My Husband is like many others I see, when we go into ASDA when in the UK he heads off to the mens department with the trolley, and when I have gathered goods and cant carry them in my arms anymore,I then have to get my mobile out and ask where he is, he does this every time, I must learn to take my own trolley or basket, as others have taught me today.Thank you for a great thread today.

I do all the grocery shopping here! And the OH asks me to do any online shopping as well! I prefer doing it on my own as it's quicker and cheaper! OH does all the clothes shopping though!

Granny23
Gosh! Just how often do you need to go to the doctors, opticians and bank?
Banking can be done online, opticians every 2 years for a sight test and doctors when you're ill. Surely none of those are weekly or even monthly visits.

What fun reading everyone else experiences- some resonate and it seems us girls have got the weekly shop down to a fine art after so many years only then to have Himself coming along ‘to help’!
I’ve always loaded my trolley in a way that makes sense for offloading onto the conveyor belt at the till and then into bags for stacking into the boot i.e. bottles & cartons, tins & boxes, veg & fruit, dairy & bread etc.
He now insists on throwing all in willynilly into trolley, onto conveyor then back into trolley for loading into bags at boot of car.....in the pouring rain.....and wonders why we bought mis shapen bread....!
And the man is an engineer- always logical to the nth degree so why can’t he see it?
Good job I love him.....

GG I do, do Online Banking but need to go to the Branch to register my POA and split our joint account into 2 accounts, I have not been to GP on my own account for over a year but they have called me in for a prescription review on pain of stopping the repeat prescriptions. My own GP does not work Wednesdays and it is she I am supposed to see for the review!!! I have to attend the optician's every 6 months as I have growing cataracts. I have been to the Council HQ 4 times in the last 2 months handing in or having certified copies of Medical Reports/POA/Birth Certificate etc. in connection with the Blue Badge Application. Visited to inspect the respite care home and the CAB to get help with the Financial Assessment Form which must be completed even though they and we know that we will be self funding. Attended 4 sessions of a 'Caring with Confidence Course' and got into trouble each time for arriving late (Day Care and Course both starting at 10am 5 miles apart with no available parking) The list is endless.

GG I could make cutting comments in reply but will just say "You have no idea"

Its not opticians every 2 years for everyone. My DH has diabetes and has to have his eyes checked every few months. He also has to go to the GP a lot as he has prostate cancer, has to have B12 injections, regular diabetes check ups etc.

GabrielleG, must you find fault always, even with the lifestyle of someone whose trials you obvousi cannot even begin to understand.

I've more or less stopped husband coming food shopping with me, he's like yours, evianers.
I have my list, I zoom through the shop, pay, and am home in less than an hour. If he wants to food shop he goes on his own.
If I need other things he's a good help though, eg household, clothes etc.

Mine is banned from grocery shopping

Don’t understand this if he pays or you pay! Surely if you’re a couple finances are shared equally so it belongs to both of you. Am I in the minority here?

Until you've been a carer, nobody has any jdea

I know what you mean...me too