Worried about my grandaughter

that's a good idea. I think I could find out thankyou

I didn't phone the social workers about the mess. I phoned them just over 18 months ago about the fact my daughter was letting her ex have my gd for the weekend even though he's an alcoholic and my daughter knew he used to drink and drive with my gd in the car. She told me he never used to wake when my gd cried at night probably because of the drinking. I begged my daughter not to let him have her and said I would have her any time she needed a break but she still did. That is when I phoned social services. A few weeks ago she said she still feels angry I phoned them and that I did it out of spite even though about 8 months ago he almost killed his new gf and her children due to drink driving.

Crickey

In future if you are immediately concerned about your GDs safety with her father while she is currently call the police.

This is definitely time to think of your granddaughter and if this means your relationship with your daughter is affected then so be it. Your daughter is an adult and rightly or wrongly can choose her own lifestyle. Your granddaughter is at risk and needs the adults in her life to step up.

at the moment he's not having her. Just sees her now and again with his mother there. My daughter agreed to see a solicitor I found because her ex had the cheek to phone social services on her even after almost killing a family. Again that annoyed me (even though I didn't say anything to my daughter) I was just happy he wasn't getting access. Because she never stopped him seeing her over his drinking just when he pissed her off phoning social services. Trouble is we have fallen out. I've messaged to say I will have my gd any time and help her get rid of the mice but she hasn't replied.

the eye rolling is a huge defence mechanism She knows she’s in a state and she knows she out of her depth and is probably overwhelmed and every time you do a job that she hadn’t it rubs it all in So that’s why you re relationship is going to be fraught You’re the good guy she’s the baddie
Does your granddaughter and mum have a good relationship, does she do things with her daughter, do they have laughter and fun, Is your granddaughter unhappy or unfed or physically harmed ?
Dirt, untidiness mice are nasty but not the end of the world her emotional stability and safety are
‘Thank you s’ are hard to give when you know you’re in the wrong it’s an admittence
It’s a really hard one to sit back and watch I can see how torn you will be

I ve just seen your last post Tilly and find it very strange your
Original post said I ve phoned social services in the past then your last post says her ex had the cheek to phone social services ??? What’s the difference
This child sounds as if she is between a rock and a hard place with both families and very very unsafe

When people do things for you that you can't do for yourself it is hard to feel thankful rather than resentful. Resentful that they are able to do it and you aren't. Ashamed by the situation and angry that it is out of your control.

Obviously you should do the right thing and fake gratitude, but when I was ill and had to have a bit of help looking after my kids I just felt angry that it was them and not me doing it, because it should have been my job IYKWIM.

I said he had a cheek phoning social services because of the fact he almost killed a family due to his drink driving. And I wasn't very clear but I meant I was annoyed at my daughter because she only stopped visitation after he phoned social services and not because of his drinking. My gd is a happy bright little girl. I can see my daughter loves her but she always seems to be on her phone and does tend to ignore her quite a bit. Even on her sisters bday she sat on her phone most of the time. In the end I did say something but she just gets aggressive

I see Tillywilly, if your granddaughter seems happy and is loving with her Mum that is all a good sign all I can suggest is if you have the time and energy spend as much time with your granddaughter introducing her to as much play and experiences as you can, perhaps encourage your daughter to use a nursery to stimulate her more ( but don’t say that just say it ll give her more free time) try your damdest to not critisise your daughter even if she if doing things you don’t think are right ( like phone use etc) pick your chats very carefully She’s obviously very aware of her short fillings
Can you invite them out to a meal to the swings to a play centre if your daughter refuses you suggest you take her

BlueBelle she already spends 5 days a week at nursery. I do try and be diplomatic where I can. I've taken on a couple of cleaning jobs so I can help her out more and so she didn't have to keep asking for money I told her to txt me her bank details and I would put money straight into her account but she never even bothered. I would love to try councilling but that's so expensive. The trouble is most times I don't say anything but then think that behaviour isn't ecceptable and i know she's not like that with her friends. So she does know how to act just chooses not to with me and her family. I'm getting to the point of really disliking her