I am very close to my dniece. she is not getting on well with her dm, my dsis for some time, about 4-5 years. I get on very well with my dsis also. My dsis knows I have been sending my dniece a monthly allowance to help her out financially as i know my dsis can't help her. My dsis knows and is happy I can afford to her her dd. My dn will be graduating in June. I had always expected she would either invite her dm and dd or her dm and dbf who she has been dating for over 3 years. My dilemma is that she has now asked me to attend to watch her graduate. She has also asked her boyfriend of over three years. She only gets two tickets. I would so love to go and be there for her but it will gut her Mum, my dsis when she realises she is not invited. It might make it worse if I go. My dsis has 4 dc. Her dd is the eldest. 2 dc are not academic and unlikley to go to university and other wants armed forces. My dniece and I have always been close and she rings me for a chat quite often on the phone. My dsis knows she rings me weekly and says she only rings her once a term and dd does not go home at end of term. My dsis says she is glad her dd has me. My dniece has had depression for about two years and recently told me she thinks it is getting better. I wonder whether stress of doing full time degree and working up to 30 hours each week to keep herself was too much for her. My dilemma if I do go to graduation my ds may be shattered. I think she just assumes she and her dh will be invited and does not know her dd has invited her boyfriend or me. My dsis and I have a very strong relationship but I think taking her place at graduation would be pushing it. If I don't go I don't think my dniece will invite her dm or dd anyway as she has told me they contributed to her depression and she has had to have therapy for almost two years now. Her dbf has been really good to her, very supportive and always there for her. She has apparently talked it through with her therapist and decided to ask the two people she feels are most supportive of her. If I tell her I can't go I am worried she will feel rejected and her mental health is not stable. What should I do. I have thought of saying I could not go on that day but can't think of anything important enough to be realistic. I just think I am going to end up hurting one of the people I love most in the world. I wish dniece had not asked me.
Jealous of her relationship - daughter married last month
Haven't found a happy story - giving up reading news
Wonder where the time went - empty nest syndrome