Issues with weight.

Lots of excellent responses here! All I can add is my agreement. Please, please, LTB!

Another narcissist who thinks he's God's gift. Get shut !!

Don't walk - run!

There are men out there who will value you for who you are and not what you look like.

When I had to have a mastectomy I worried that my husband would no longer love lop sided me - when I told him this his reply was "why? - you are still you"

So you must be much younger than him if he is too old to change?

Good news, I have a way for you to lose 100+ pounds in a week.

Dump his arse.

Honestly, no one has to take this crap. The word does not revolve around his erection and its preferences.

You have to ask yourself "Can I live like this for the rest of my life?"

If you have doubts, then start making plans to get this man out of your life.
He hasn't made you happy and he's threatening you. He could walk at any time - so look into ways of becoming independently happy.

I repeat as I said right at the beginning of the thread (!)

As they say on Mumset - LTB
Lose The Bastard

Mine too!

And mine!!!

Fuck off would be my response too. Do you keep yourself slim for yourself or him?
He sounds very shallow and boring. Please do not let him treat you so disrespectfully.

What do you find to like about this bloke?

Your weight used to be "at the top end of his preferred body size"?! He says he'll get someone else if you put on weight or become unable to satisfy his sexual needs.

If he were MY bloke (although I would never be attracted to someone so shallow and stupid, and I have more regard for myself), I'd tell him to fuck right off out of it NOW. What a moron he sounds.....and you let him treat you so disrespectfully.

As others have said walk away. Horrible man, and the comment "if you are too ill to pleasure him he will find someone else," leaves me revolted.
Leave the vile creature and take your dignity and self respect with you. You really deserve so much better.

Let us know what you decide.

I doubt that he is going to change now.

Some women may not mind being controlled, but if I was in that situation I would buy him a bicycle.

Not happy at all to continue as it is MOnica, and won't. Many huge changes of attitude needed which won't happen, but I need to be as sure as I can be that ending it is the right decision. I've always given him benefit of doubt and still ended back in this position. In my gut I know leaving is the right thing to do but surprisingly that doesn't make it any easier. Thanks everybody for your thoughts.

I am sorry Ruby, but I cannot get my head round the idea of someone loving and being prepared to run their life around man, who at core is such a misogynist and who can have put conditions on your relationship from the start.

That he had this attitude before you even met, that it was a condition of your relationship and hasn't been softened in the years you have been together, makes it clear that it is an ingrained attitude that is not going to be susceptible to change.

If you are content to continue in this relationship it puzzles me that you wanted to put it up for general discussion on GN.

Someone once told me of an old Spanish proverb which translated read “better to go alone than badly accompanied !” How true this is of you. This man sounds like a complete jerk! Vain possibly deluded and definitely selfish! I would dump him quick smart. Being alone is better than being miserable and feeling insecure, take it from me!

You might love him Ruby but he certainly doesn't love you.
You asked for opinions and you are getting the same message, loud and clear.
This is not a nice man! You deserve more!

somebody is not well.

Well, I don't think anyone can get past the weight issue, so...
I very much doubt you are going to find someone who thinks that is ok.

Cherrytree what is LTB? Lily no I am not having a laugh, nothing about current situation is funny apart from possibly my apparent naivety. I am no pushover. You have no idea how miserable our home life is at the moment or how angry I am with him and obviously if some guy treated my children or grandchildren in such a way of course I'd be appalled and I'd be advising them to get out, but this is about my relationship with a man I actually care very much for (unfortunately) and if that relationship could be salvaged and his attitude altered that would be a positive result. I actually thought the post might get a more mixed response and I'd be advised to be more tolerant of partners views even tho I strongly disagree with them, and if the relationship were to continue a lot will have to change. He feels he is probably too old to change and is wary about us ending up back at each others throats again. Out of context the 'pleasuring' bit sounds strange but I couldn't think of another way of putting it. Basically it was suggested that if one was in (for example but this happened to a close family member) a vegetative state for many months, I think it ran into years but I'm not sure, was it not okay for the other to form another relationship or find 'respite' in some way as they would still have needs. I could not do it and I don't like the idea that someone who has supposedly loved me could do it, but I understand it might be seen as acceptable by some and was interested in opinions.

Also if I ever become so ill that I can't 'pleasure' him,

Pride comes before a fall
He could pop off first.

Run and don’t look back, be kind to yourself?

PPs have said it all.
Horrible and disrespectful little person, I won't use the word 'man'.

Please think, why would you let this person speak to you like this.

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