Gransnet forums

Relationships

Issues with weight.

(62 Posts)
Rubytuesday12 Wed 16-Jan-19 12:13:32

Hi. I'm a newbie on this site so not sure of protocol.
I am 64, 5'5, 140lbs, healthy other than occasional AF and taking beta blockers, statins, blood thinners.
My partner of eight years has always had issues with larger ladies (he's quite thin) and when I first met him on line my weight was at the top end of his preferred body size (143lbs) and I was on one occasion told I could do with losing a few pounds. He has just informed me that if I gain weight (regardless of the reason) he will neither love or fancy me and will have to look for another relationship. Also if I ever become so ill that I can't 'pleasure' him, although he would probably stay around to look after me, he would find someone else to fulfil his physical needs. He thinks this would be reasonable and if the boot was on the other foot he would give his blessing. Well I'm a bit miffed (to say the least!) to be honest. He's never been one for complimenting me, and he's probably told me (in anger) that he doesn't love me as often as he's told me that he does (and rarely spontaneously) and he does find it difficult to express emotions other than anger. Should I be angry about this or not. Am I being unreasonable? What do others think and if any guys read this I'd love to hear your opinions.

Lynne59 Wed 16-Jan-19 20:24:08

What do you find to like about this bloke?

Your weight used to be "at the top end of his preferred body size"?! He says he'll get someone else if you put on weight or become unable to satisfy his sexual needs.

If he were MY bloke (although I would never be attracted to someone so shallow and stupid, and I have more regard for myself), I'd tell him to fuck right off out of it NOW. What a moron he sounds.....and you let him treat you so disrespectfully.

rafichagran Wed 16-Jan-19 20:35:20

Fuck off would be my response too. Do you keep yourself slim for yourself or him?
He sounds very shallow and boring. Please do not let him treat you so disrespectfully.

Buffybee Wed 16-Jan-19 20:43:44

And mine!!!

Grannybags Wed 16-Jan-19 20:46:43

Mine too!

MawBroon Wed 16-Jan-19 21:03:16

I repeat as I said right at the beginning of the thread (!)

As they say on Mumset - LTB
Lose The Bastard

BradfordLass72 Wed 16-Jan-19 23:34:32

You have to ask yourself "Can I live like this for the rest of my life?"

If you have doubts, then start making plans to get this man out of your life.
He hasn't made you happy and he's threatening you. He could walk at any time - so look into ways of becoming independently happy. flowers

muffinthemoo Thu 24-Jan-19 09:21:31

Good news, I have a way for you to lose 100+ pounds in a week.

Dump his arse.

Honestly, no one has to take this crap. The word does not revolve around his erection and its preferences.

midgey Thu 24-Jan-19 09:28:38

So you must be much younger than him if he is too old to change?

Oldwoman70 Thu 24-Jan-19 09:39:09

Don't walk - run!

There are men out there who will value you for who you are and not what you look like.

When I had to have a mastectomy I worried that my husband would no longer love lop sided me - when I told him this his reply was "why? - you are still you"

EllanVannin Thu 24-Jan-19 09:44:30

Another narcissist who thinks he's God's gift. Get shut !!

David1968 Thu 24-Jan-19 09:45:34

Lots of excellent responses here! All I can add is my agreement. Please, please, LTB!