Would agree with Blencathra. The main answer is to have your own life - try to have something arranged every day, so matter how small. The days when families lived near each other, where the Mum didn't have to work, and when they lived in each others pockets is long gone. However, I don't think it's too much to ask to have a quiet word and ask if there can be a regular time when you can be included, e.g. A friend of mine treats her daugher, SIL and children to Sunday lunch out once a month - yes she has to pay. But I do know someone who moved closer to her son and DIL to get help when her husband was ill. He died very soon afterwards, leaving her stranded - as she very rarely saw the family, and all her attempts to be included were rebuffed, and all she got was "we're SO busy". She ended up moving back to where she had lived (she put the house on the market without telling them!), but in supported housing (at least she had friends there) and made her own life. (She recently told me that she had changed her will and left all her money to a couple of charities; suffice to say, she is still seething).