I've been banned from my stepson's wedding.....

I often just put first names on envelopes ,I didn't think it was a big deal.Its a bit formal to put surnames on for family isn't it?

Frankly, I wouldn't have said anything about the envelope. That may well have been the last straw.

How was your relationship with them before this happened? I have a feeling there may be more backstory here that we have not heard.

Are your AC going to their wedding?
Was it a joke about the titles? Does your stepson dislike you having the same surname as his mum - if you do?
Weddings guest lists are incredibly tricky for people these days. Friends are in the throes right now of venue finding and making guest lists.
I don't envy them.
A bit harsh to ban you altogether but can you patch it up so your DH doesn't have to suffer?

My husband's ex does that as well phoenixbfh just puts first names on our Christmas card envelope. I'm just glad both exes still send cards.
Maybe as luluaugust said its just wedding stress. I wouldn't worry too much about it now, let your husband deal with it. Don't shut the door on your stepson though things may blow over.

Are you just feeling a relief over not having to go to the wedding or do you expect never to set eyes on them again? Let your OH sort this one out as to how things go after the wedding is over.For the last straw to be not using a surname on an envelope seems very over the top - wedding nerves maybe, particularly as you have managed to get this far.

As you say nobody these days bothers about how they are addressed on envelopes. So, why did you feel a need to comment on it to the senders? Was this possibly the straw that broke the camels back?

Are you intentionally or unintentionally always making
little remarks about what people do and how they conduct themselves, remarks that place them on their back foot and making them feel a bit uncomfortable.

I had a grandmother like that, one of her little remarks could drain any occasion of joy.

Not judging, just asking, but perhaps it might be worth thinking about.

If you are glad not to be going, then don't lose any sleep over the disinvite.

It's up to your H what relationship he has with his son after this, but I feel you should make it clear that whilst you will not interfere in their relationship, he is not to expect you and his son to be in the same place again.

H can make arrangements for holidays, celebrations etc on that basis.

I wouldn't lose sleep over it.

Your stepson and /or his partner are very rude. There is no reason for anyone to be so rude. I think I don't like them.