Wedding Top Table

When my DD got wed 4 years ago her father and his partner sat on the top table while my DH and I occupied a round table, sitting with my DSister, DBiL and DCousin and her DH. We were a very jolly party and had far better conversations than my 1st husband and his partner - she was sitting in the very end so had no one but him to converse with. We didn’t mind a bit.

As an add-on - my DH has just pointed out that he can understand how your DH feels, as it was us who brought her up, attended all the Parents Evenings, took her to and from her social life outings, made it through the tantrums of the teenage years and made sure she saw her DF regularly. Then, when she got married it was all about him. He gave her away, he made the Father of The Bride speech. He says that yes, it did smart a bit, but you have to remember whose day it is.

Congratulations on your sd's upcoming marriage! I totally get your and dh's being upset about the seating arrangements, but young people, today, often do things differently. SD may just be doing what she thinks is youthful, modern, and fun.

Sure, maybe it's because of her mother. Maybe she doesn't want her at the Top Table, but is afraid she'll hurt her feelings by having you and dh there. Or maybe she would have had you all there, but was concerned it would be a tense situation. If any of this is so, it just shows you raised a kind, caring young woman who thinks things through.

Whatever, I would try to let it go. I doubt that either you or dh would want the day ruined over who sits where. Please just enjoy the fact that she's getting married to someone she loves and, hopefully, will make her very happy.

I would hope both mother and father of the bride care more about their daughter's happiness than their own dented pride. Her dad needs to grow up and stop being petulant. I understand that he has been closer to her during her formative years but she wants this arrangement for her wedding. He needs to be the best kind of dad and support her.