Hi, my first post here.
I am almost 50, and havent been happy in my marriage for years. We’ve been together for 20 years and if I’m honest with myself I havent really been happy for years now. If I may speak frankly, we’ve been in separate bedrooms for years, no sex at all for the last 4 years. No affection, not much in common any more. I really miss having someone to cuddle with, go on walks with! Without going in to all the details of what is right and wrong with our relationship, for the last few years I have felt like I want to end our marriage, I want the chance to start again on my own, and at least have a chance of maybe meeting someone else and being happy.
But for some reason I keep putting off telling him, I cant bring myself to do it. I told him 4 years ago and he didn’t take it well. We went for counselling, ended up not splitting up and have drifted along like this for these past 4 years.
I don’t want to keep on drifting like this forever, and end up regreting not leaving him, but also cant quite get the courage to tell him. Its silly but every time I hear of couples splitting up I feel envious and wonder how they did it.
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life like this. My fondest dream at the moment is to be in a little flat on my own with my dogs, but I cant seem to take the first step towards that dream. I would like to hear advice and experience from other women (or men!) who have been through this - how did you get the courage up to have that conversation? Are you glad you left?
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