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Sunday lunch today

(130 Posts)
Hilmix Sun 17-Mar-19 15:43:38

Today I set about lunch early In an effort to please my husband
We were having rump steak, garlic stuffed mushrooms, tenderstem broccoli, carrots (as ever,) with onion gravy and my husband's favourite, roasties. I had asked if he is would like sweet potato wedges instead with the steak but he said 'no'.
After sitting down to it, he pronounced the steak to be tough ( it wasn't) I showed how it had the required amount of kindness through the middle so he then blamed his knife .
I offered to swap with my piece but he said there was no point in us both having tough steak
Then the broccoli was hard. Followed by a sulk when I mentioned that most veg tastes better when it isn't reduced to slop. Hush my mouth...
He pronounced the meal ok but enthused over the shop bought sticky toffee pudding and squirty cream we had for pudding.
I am now in my room trying to calm my thoughts. I think the time has come to insist on simple lunches on Sunday, no more the hours spent trying to please. I feel bad to be so upset considering the terrible things happening in the world just now but I feel totally useless...
PS I spent the morning listening to Leonard Cohen whilst preparing lunch when our usual scenario is for husband to watch John Wayne saving the Wild West or winning WW2 single-handed. Maybe me having my choice meant I had to be punished. Who knows?

SalsaQueen Thu 11-Apr-19 22:04:26

Are you and your husband able to get out? If so, I'd book a table somewhere every Sunday. Don't go to all the bother of preparation, cooking and washing-up.

If you can't get out, how about a takeaway, or a ready meal?

About listening to Leonard Cohen...I find his music so terribly depressing grin. Give yourself a rest - let someone else cook x

Lialia270 Thu 11-Apr-19 10:54:50

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

NannyEm Wed 20-Mar-19 21:22:18

I like Jane10's suggestion.

blue60 Tue 19-Mar-19 18:00:19

Tell HIM to go do it!

hallgreenmiss Tue 19-Mar-19 16:54:14

Hilmix, tell him you're his wife not his servant.

Farmor15 Tue 19-Mar-19 14:17:26

Liztofriends there's a list of abbreviations at the top and bottom of page, except they call them Acronyms! There is discussion here quite often about this, as acronyms are actually something different (abbreviations that make a word). Some commonly used ones aren't there, such as OP, which means original poster.

You don't have to use them when posting - some do, some don't.

Liztofriends Tue 19-Mar-19 13:54:28

Is there a glossary of abbreviations on here? I can work out most of them, but some have me stumped! 😅

NanKate Tue 19-Mar-19 10:29:20

What a helpful reply Jaxie I do hope Hilmix sees it and most important acts on it.

Jaxie Tue 19-Mar-19 09:45:40

Hilmix: It has taken me 55 years of marriage to a sulker to realise how controlling he's been. He won't eat any shop bought food except custard tartlets. He too makes sarcastic, cutting remarks about food I cook. Friends, however, compliment me on my cooking, so it can't be that bad. For the first time recently I've started " biting back". I challenge him about his comments and tell him how he makes me feel. Then I say things like," No more apple pies for you until you apologise." At first he seemed amazed, then he almost whispers an apology. I remind myself that the poor old bugger is 81, has few pleasures, like a lot of old people, food being a major one, but I refuse to field these nasty comments any more. I've threatened him with divorce in the past, and I think he knows I mean it. I don't like sinking to such ploys, but for my own very eroded self respect I intend to hold my own. Very sad, when your husband is supposed to be your best friend. My thoughts are with you.

Madgran77 Tue 19-Mar-19 08:39:12

My OH and I both cook, sometimes together, sometimes one or other of us spending what each of us are doing. We do have conversations about the food and might discuss if something was tough/ tasty/ needed more flavour or whatever. But ofcourse that is the difference to what the OP described is mutual conversation not a damning, negative criticism of the others efforts.

NanKate Tue 19-Mar-19 07:07:38

Thank you Gabriella I was worried I had said too much. I am now concerned that Hilmix has gone to ground with all our comments, but this may be the turning point for her. No woman or man should be spoken to like that.

We are right behind you Hilmix. 💐

GrandmainOz Tue 19-Mar-19 02:42:12

How rude and ungrateful! Sounds like a lovely meal which you put a lot of effort into. If my OH was so mean to me after I'd cooked that, I think I'd
tip the plate into his lap! Poor you ☹
Is he always like that to you?

GabriellaG54 Tue 19-Mar-19 02:27:27

Usually pre-prepped, bought in stuff in pubs. Pre sliced meat and frozen everything else. Not for me.

GabriellaG54 Tue 19-Mar-19 02:25:26

I agree with NanKate and the more I read comments on different threads the more I appreciate not living with a man.
I'd never put up with half of it.

Onestepbeyond Tue 19-Mar-19 01:29:24

@bikergran That is so funny flowers

moggie57 Tue 19-Mar-19 00:18:33

How about going out for Sunday lunch or get him to cook it

tallulahbelle Mon 18-Mar-19 22:27:57 a friend and go for a long lunch with them....tell hubby to put something in the're not his skivvy!!!

HillyN Mon 18-Mar-19 21:17:12

Sounds like problems with his teeth to me. My DH will always enthuse about meals like cottage pie with mushy peas and know it's his teeth that are the problem.
Having said that, if there genuinely is a bone in the fish or a bit of gristle in the meat it always seems to be in his portion, not mine!

TUGGY Mon 18-Mar-19 21:02:39

We go out out for lunch each Sunday to some very nice pubs. Not cooked Sunday lunch for years. Please try it this Sunday coming enjoy. It could the start of something good you would like. Good luck.

Witzend Mon 18-Mar-19 19:40:19

Cheap ready meal or he cooks next time. I wouldn't wait a whole week! And if he complains, I'd tell him very sweetly that since nothing was right last time, you have stopped making wholly unappreciated efforts.

Posts like this make me feel really bad for ever moaning about my dh, who never cooks (he invariably clears up though) but eats whatever I give him and is grateful for it.

Maccyt1955 Mon 18-Mar-19 19:11:12

Have you actually talked to him about this behaviour..and how long have you been trying to ‘please?’
If this is fairly recent then perhaps he is angry with you for something else, but can’t voice it?

AlisonKF Mon 18-Mar-19 19:09:14

I recall a cartoon labelled: " One man's meat------------is another woman's Sunday gone"

Don't try to please someone as rude as this. Join an evangelical church with three hour services. Join a rambling group which takes a packed lunch on Sindays. Pay for him to have cookery lessons.

Hellsbelles Mon 18-Mar-19 17:57:34

My grumble about mine is, we visit quite a few coffee shops that have loyalty cards ( get a free cup after x of cups bought) We were in one and I was going through my purse to locate that particular one , had to go through it a few times to find. Much huffing and pudding and general complaining about keeping him waiting and not to bother ( prob less than 2/3 minutes )
On his return I reminded him that I drive him to various places - wood yards, car part shops, Screwfix etc to name a few, and often sit waiting on the car for 15 + minutes and often longer !

Tooyoungytobeagrandma Mon 18-Mar-19 17:54:23

His dinner would have been in his lap if he was my OH!

Onestepbeyond Mon 18-Mar-19 17:33:56


Have a day off next Sunday and ask him to cook it how he would like it to be done