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Future daughter In law

(160 Posts)
Mommie6 Tue 19-Mar-19 18:29:56

Been nice to our future daughter in law. No issues until she got the ring on her finger. He first quiestion was “ how much will you be giving us for our wedding “. We know nothing I mean nothing about the wedding plans. Was told the other day that it’s ok to get a dress Our son asked if we could. Get guest bags. And if I could do cookies. ( her mother informed me to make 6000 cookies and don’t forget the bags. ). So I asked how many ppl are coming was told. “ our wedding is a need to know bases. You don’t need to know. But feel free to pay for more stuff“. Went to the shower. Was snubbed by the bridal party. The bride introduced the bridal party. Her mom and her moms best friend. We are preparing to not be included In the wedding things. Like the processional. The mother son dance. I might get flowers I might not. How do I keep calm. Without showing hurtful feelings. I have done nothing wrong.

muffinthemoo Thu 21-Mar-19 23:46:01

crazyH I have a limited baking repertoire and a strong suspicion about my oven temperature. No bloody way would I bake 6000 of anything

UK50 Fri 22-Mar-19 18:52:16

I hear you, having similar issues myself. I'm mum of the groom, my only child with whom I was so close but increasing feel us drifting. My son moved a few hundred miles away to set up home with her which I accepted as his happiness is all I wanted but since the engagement I feel like the brides family are trying to replace me with themselves. We've contributed the same amount of money as the brides parents towards the wedding but yet I know very little and it hurts to feel excluded especially when he's my only child. It's a tough one as it's only a few weeks away from the wedding and the last thing I want to do is cause upset for their big day so being a parent who loves her son dearly I will play the part and keep my hurt feelings to myself and likely make them known after the wedding. Doing it before will not achieve anything as all the major stuff is done so I can't get that being part of it experience back but I will not sit back and feel the same if grandchildren come along!

Jalima1108 Fri 22-Mar-19 20:01:23

I asked muffin to bake 6,000 muffins - she could have shared them out amongst Gransnetters.

I forgot to look at the cookies in Tesco's today - I could just eat a couple now with a brew

jeanie99 Sat 23-Mar-19 00:41:12

Oh dear it's hard to believe that families can actually be like that.

I think I would have a good talk with your son to start with and put a few ground rules in place.
Number one is that you and your husband will make the decision on your contribution to the nuptials not her mother.
Unbelievably rude.

Chewbacca Sat 23-Mar-19 01:08:42

Hmmm... 6000 cookies? That's 12 cookies per tray, with 2 trays in the oven at once means that 24 cookies can be baked in one batch. With each batch taking approximately 12 minutes, that's 5 batches per hour. If OP bakes for 8 hours straight, (without taking a break for a meal, drink or the loo), she can bake 40 oven batches in a day. 40 x 24 is 960 cookies per day. So if OP bakes for 8 hours a day, for 6.25 days, taking no meal or bathroom breaks; doesn't answer the phone or the door to the postman or have to actually mix the cookie dough herself, she could complete 6000 cookies easily.

Don't see the problem myself.

Tillybelle Sat 23-Mar-19 12:32:56

silverlining
6 (now 7) pages of helpful response without a word back from poster.
I agree! There's no more to be said!
We're being messed about!

Farmor15 Sat 23-Mar-19 14:39:35

Fun discussions about cookies though?

Chewbacca Tue 26-Mar-19 23:23:46

Has the OP been back or is she still up to her armpits in cookie dough?

Jalima1108 Tue 26-Mar-19 23:31:56

Chewbacca grin