Gransnet forums

Relationships

how to advise and support pregnant daughter

(34 Posts)
seffy138 Wed 20-Mar-19 16:16:36

Daughter has recently found out that she's pregnant. It's still very early days but already she has me worrying with her latest news that she doesn't feel her and her boyfriend will last much longer. She claims that everything about him just annoys her. She's fully aware that stress is never a good thing but feels that the longer she keeps quiet the more stressed she's going to feel. In my eyes he's a nice lad but I guess I'm not there. Just not sure how to support her. I know hormones are all running rife at the moment so don't much like the idea of her steaming in with hormones raging to then regret her words.
Don't want to be melodramatic nor do I want to be too interfering but I just worry...

newnanny Thu 21-Mar-19 23:21:45

Early pregnancy is tiring and raging hormones making emotions run rampage. Why not treat dd to relaxing day at spa if you can afford it. Do not offer relationship advise. It is a definite no no. Just try to offer a few hours relaxation. My dd loved it when i dropped by with a home made lasagne, so when she got home from work tired she did not have to cook.

GabriellaG54 Fri 22-Mar-19 07:47:59

muffinthemoo
No, of course not.
I'm talking about young women who have ex on the first date and think they're in a relationship after a week.
I'm talking about women who know that the government is always there to support single mothers with housing and money until the child finishes education.
The fathers often (but not always) abdicate responsibility but IMO, responsibility lies at the feet of those who have sex without taking sensible precautions.
Condoms or the pill used in a timely manner, are very effective but females must learn to check that their partner is not using excuses not to use them.
After a night out with a few drinks it's forgotten about.
There are two people who bear responsibility, not the rest of the taxpaying public.
When you bring children into the world, you need to be in a stable loving relationship, have a home and jobs. Otherwise, who pays...?

GabriellaG54 Fri 22-Mar-19 07:48:35

* ex sex

ElaineRI55 Fri 22-Mar-19 08:25:25

Like others - I don't think you can offer detailed advice/solutions. She has to decide with her boyfriend what they want to do.
Tell her not to panic, there's no rush to work out what will happen further down the line and that you will be there for her whatever she decides to do. If she allows herself to feel trapped, she may make a panic decision; realising she does have control and choices may help her to stay calm. Encourage her to recognise her strengths and tell her how wonderful she is (without being OTT).
Practical help, your presence, cups of tea, and the odd treat with some laughs thrown in where possible are probably the best support you can give just now.
There's no reason why your daughter and her child should not have a positive and fulfilling future whatever way it all works out with her boyfriend.

Bonnibiker795 Sat 23-Mar-19 12:23:07

Just be available when your needed good times and bad

Summerlove Sat 23-Mar-19 14:40:26

Gabriella, you sound like a joy to be around ?.

notanan2 Sat 23-Mar-19 22:00:58

Do you get invited to many parties Gabriella? wink

sodapop Sun 24-Mar-19 08:30:49

I agree with Elaine be there to support and help if asked otherwise let the couple sort out their problems. It's one of the hardest things to do standing by and watching our adult children struggle but that's what we need to do.