Losing friend

I agree, please keep seeing your friend. One of my friends moved to the other end of the country about 6 years ago now. I do miss her because we would go out for impromptu meals or whatever. She has two beautiful laptops but does not know how they work.

We are on the phone a lot, not quite daily but near enough. Please keep in touch with her.

You don’t have to feel guilty about your feelings. You can’t help them. You do need to support her through this move though. Best friends are such a different animal in friendship relationships. To be a best friend requires a wonderful commitment that can be hard especially when you are far away from one another. But it’s part of the package.
Tell her how devastated you are and how you feel but say you understand and will be there for her no matter what.
One of my best friends lives in Canada. We text frequently and treat each other to glorious flowers or gifts at Christmas and birthdays. When we get together it is as though we’ve never been apart and we catch up on the minutiae of our lives and laugh and cry a lot. My other best friends are in London. I was born there and they are the friends I’ve known for years, one since school. We knew the frequency of contact would change when I moved to Cornwall four years ago but we’ve all worked at it. I treasure my contact with all four and they with me.
Life does change. But it doesn’t have to mean friendship has to. Not it’s depth anyway. My Canadian friend and I joke about the care home we will be in eventually drinking wine.
Try to see this as a fork in the path but tell yourself and her that you’re going to hold her hand from your path. Hope this helps xx

When my best friend moved to London, I too felt bereft as we were very close for 20 years. We still managed to meet for weekends, telephoned each other and wrote letters. Our closeness remained intact for many years...until she moved back and we lost touch!

I knew we had changed because during the time she was away I remarried and had a child, while she remained single and wanted to recreate the life we had before - going out, playing sport etc; but I didn't want to go back, so we went our separate ways.

A shame really as we don't have any friendship at all now. I guess we all change without really noticing, and you will too kiki2. Change isn't always a bad thing, even though it may hurt at the time.

I am sorry your friend is moving kiki2, I feel for you, but I do think it is worth the extra effort to maintain contact.

I moved 350 miles away from my two best friends twenty years ago, and although our contact is irregular, I know they love and appreciate me still - and most importantly to me, we have history and both of them remember my late Mum.

Since moving here I have only made acquaintances and am so glad I have these two faithful friends in my life.
In the dreadful snow we had last March, nicknamed the Beast from the East, both of them rang me - none of my local friends. I was stuck here alone with my sheltie for five days, luckily had stocked up.

Is your friend having a leaving party or meal?

I moved to a different country and left my best friend behind, but we kept the same close friendship with regular emails so each continued to know all the things that were going on in each other's lives. I stayed with her when I visited and she came and stayed with me. Although I made new friends after I moved she always remained my best friend and I believe that our regular email exchanges played their part in that. Sadly she died nearly two years ago and I really miss her, so cherish your friend whilst you can and make the effort to email her with details of what you have been doing, asking her to do the same. Don't push her away already ... you can always be friends but, like everything else in life, you have to work for it.

My best friend passed away at the weekend and I’m heartbroken. ?
So I would say make the effort to see your friend and try to enjoy as much time together as possible in one another’s homes.

When I read the opening heading about losing a friend I was expecting to read that your friend had died. My friend has just died. I wish wholeheartedly that she had just moved away then we could still communicate. Not sure if reading this will help to soften the blow. I hope it does.

I really feel for you too. I moved 300 miles away from my best friend but we managed to keep up once or twice a week on messenger and phone calls. We met up once or twice a year and it was as if we had never been apart. But. She died suddenly 3 years ago and I so miss her. Make the most of what you have got as you never know what is round the corner.

I understand where you’re coming from, the prospect of loneliness can be a terrible thing. It’s always easier to be the one moving on than the one who stays behind. Please try and resolve that you will do daily activities to lift your mood even if it’s a little walk in the fresh air if you are able.

I moved abroad after my marriage and we were 'away' for 20 years with visits 'home' every year. I kept in touch with 2 very good friends and our relationship didn't change much and we're still good friends. I now have a friend who lives in Sydney who I might see once a year if I'm lucky but we still pick up as if we saw each other a week ago!

Kiki2 you will both need to work at it but it is possible to maintain a good friendship over a distance

Hi kiki, my dearest friend moved to the other end of the country over 20 years ago.

After about a year we did lose touch, for 10 years and when she came back into my life it was as if she'd never left and we've been like sisters once again.

A truly good friend is hard to find and worth keeping. We can never get back the years we lost but have so many ahead of us to look forward too.

Save up, go and stay with her and have wonderful holidays together.

Thank you for all your messages , your kind words and your advice on how to cope with this ; I have been overwhelmed by all this kindness and I need to reread all the messages as they all contain some pearls of wisdom ; I am going through a tough time but your messages will definitely help me short term and longer term
I love the honesty and the sympathy , this was my first post on gransnet and I have been amazed at how good it is
Thanks for your friendship , I need it

its sad but life moves on while she is here why not make some lovely memories instead of isolating yourself

Hi
How did she come back into your life after 10 years ?

Dear Meta
Thank you for your kind advice , I will really act on it

Dear blue60
Thank you for your philosophical words , I am sure they are very true and I will keep them in mind