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Anyone else's husband turned into a Grumpy old man?

(83 Posts)
Evie64 Mon 15-Apr-19 00:52:26

I can't believe how grumpy and discontented my husband has become over the last few years, and he's getting worse! What a miserable bloke he has become, and no amount of efforts to cheer him up or distract him seems to work, and don't mention Brexit! Ear hole bashing for at least two hours!

melp1 Wed 10-Mar-21 21:51:19

Well theres a grumpy old man here as well. I would have retired but got offered a two day week and took it as the thought of 24/7 with Mr Grumpy was quite depressing.
The other thing I don't understand is why he's always in a hurry, which makes me forget things. and makes him clumsy which then causes arguments.
He's constantly in a rush. We walk the dog twice a day for about an hour at a time and then he'll sit watching the news on the TV when we get back so I don't understand what the rush is.

GagaJo Mon 18-Jan-21 12:27:13

Not my husband, but my part-time partner- ish, is a regular Victor Meldrew. I would go as far as to say that ranting is a hobby of his. Woe betide any telephone sales people that dare to dial his number. THEY frequently hang up on him.

When the parking priorities changed in his area a few years ago he was so incensed that he waged a major one-man campaign about it. Printed off documents and posted them to all his neighbours.

I am not often in the country now, but when I lived there and saw him regularly, he had a rant allowance. No more than two rants a day in my presence.

Elusivebutterfly Mon 18-Jan-21 10:45:04

Rufus, I'm not on a man-hunt, I'm quite happy being single with an active social life (in normal times).

Rufus2 Mon 18-Jan-21 10:42:26

a lot of men seem to sit at home and not do much
Elusive butterfly On the contrary! Unfortunately this is a common misconception.
I have a cardboard cut-out of myself seated by the front window to deter burglars and prying eyes of gold-diggers, whilst I'm out living it up!
Hope your man-hunt is soon successful! tchgrin
OoRoo

Itsnotme Mon 18-Jan-21 06:18:05

My ex had a very black outlook on everything and he seemed to resent any one around him invading his space. He never wanted to do anything (unless it was in his interest) or go anywhere (unless it was in his interest) very selfish man but I blamed his mother for making him like that.

My new man is the exact opposite, very optimistic, cheerful and will go anywhere and do anything to please me ?

Elusivebutterfly Sun 17-Jan-21 22:09:00

I'm a widow so the grumpy husband is not an issue for me. I do notice that all the social things that retired people like to do seem to be almost all women and any men there are with their wives. Adult education classes, keep fit, over sixty swimming, U3A, book clubs, social clubs, lunches out etc. I've done all these things and it's very rare to see any men. While most women are busy, a lot of men seem to sit at home and not do much.

Leliab Sun 17-Jan-21 16:10:28

I have your husbands twin here in Fl. It’s so frustrating. It’s like he has “checked” out.

annep1 Sun 12-Jul-20 18:01:18

My husband grumps a lot but not always. When I initiate pleasant light conversations he often manages somehow to turn it round to a grump about Brexit, Government (mis) management of Covid19 or Trump. He spends half the day reading and reposting posts on facebook to support his views. I spend a lot of time in my own room. But I do love him and try to be patient. He can be very funny and very interesting.

Nanderin Sun 12-Jul-20 16:43:42

Hi exactly the same here 45yrs married haven't spoken for 4 days and last month ten days. Drives me insane. He's nearly ten years older than me. angry

JuneRose Fri 03-Jul-20 18:39:37

When anyone asks his my oh is the answer is always 'tired ' honestly it gets on my wick!

Kestrel Fri 03-Jul-20 17:14:45

Low testosterone may be the problem? GP can help if so.

Cabbie21 Sun 31-May-20 11:58:49

Since we retired my husband has taken over the shopping, going to our local independent shops, just leaving me to do an occasional supermarket stock up. It was working well, as he got to choose ( control?) what he ate to a large extent.
Now we are reliant on deliveries he is really grumpy and difficult about food. He wants his routine of meals to be unchanged. Neither of us is going to shops, so I have organised deliveries of milk, veg and groceries, not without some difficulties and a few changes.
This weekend I ordered an addition to my veggie box, the ingredients for a cream tea. The strawberries won’t last long, but he says he can’t eat them with the wrong cream, as they have sent clotted cream. So my effort to provide a bit of a treat have been wasted. It is the same with any new recipes I try, or an adaptation of a meal to suit whatever items are available.

I am tired of such lack of appreciation, and his failure to adapt to circumstances. Every week he asks me what veg is coming, but every week I say we have to wait and see, then he grumbles that he doesn’t like what has come. It is really dispiriting. It is not worth having a go at him as we are stuck In this situation for a while yet, and generally we get on reasonably amicably, provided we give each other space.

Grandad1943 Wed 27-May-20 11:34:24

Yes I know of two men who are always talking about their grumpy old wives. I said to one of them that age changes everyone and with many they do not realise how they themselves have changed when speaking of that in others.

Age changes all in this world regardless of gender. ?

manny Tue 26-May-20 16:06:03

Yes - it’s always consoling to know others are sharing the same experiences. I sometimes (frequently?) feel that I’m a little bit mad. Is it grumpiness or just an inability to see the less serious side of life? I make the odd lighthearted remark and following the ensuing lack of understanding, I think I must be speaking a foreign language. Then my sense of humour fails as well and I think I might as well not bother.

Zilla Mon 25-May-20 11:16:00

I have just joined Gransnet in hope of finding friendship and support. Was drawn to this thread as I too have a grumpy/miserable husband. Sorry that so many of you are in the same position but I feel better knowing that I am not alone.

Pommiegran Fri 22-May-20 08:37:32

Oh yes ! Mine is very much of the "end of the world is nigh" brigade. Just doesn't get it when I tell him I really don't want to know.

Pommiegran Fri 22-May-20 08:36:29

I'm on my second grumpy husband ! You would think I would I would have learned ...... Trouble is, they do seem to believe that they are "in charge", even when, in the case of Number 2, he's basically bed-bound. Also wants lots of compliments, and I honstly can't think of any !

Rufus2 Fri 21-Jun-19 12:42:27

A problem shared means that more than one person has a problem
Happy solstice everyone, whether you're coming or going. smile
This topic gets a regular airing and it's always the menfolk who are placed in the stocks. Why? In the interest of gender equality shouldn't there be a 50-50 balance of whingers represented here? Based on the evidence displayed so far there aren't many of us complaining about the fair sex (patronising possibly, grin); so one side benefit would be the freeing up of column space for other posters to sing the praises of their menfolk. grin Just a thought!

annep1 Thu 20-Jun-19 16:21:08

My husband can be really funny but prefers to be grumpy or gloomy telling me all the bad news of the day. I often tell him I am going to buy him a judges black cap.

Nanna58 Wed 19-Jun-19 21:30:44

Positive outlook.

Nanna58 Wed 19-Jun-19 21:29:53

My husband is a terrible pessimist, grumpy, and cynical. Never was like this when young, if he had been as bad as this I’d never have married him! And am not alone, most of my friends say their husbands are grumpy. Only comfort is that as optimists we will happily outlive them, as a positive out is proven to be conducive to a longer life.

Pantglas1 Wed 19-Jun-19 09:20:06

My husband has always been a pessimist (realist) and I’m an optimist (Pollyanna) - his description in brackets!

I find joy everywhere and he sees problems all around - I try to lift his mood but sometimes just leave him alone to stew as I can’t have too much negativity without it bringing me down and then we’d be well and truly snookered!

Resurgam123 Wed 19-Jun-19 07:44:46

I have another mansplainer. At times it goes on and on until I want to scream. (Aspergers is involved as well.)

Bordersgirl57 Tue 18-Jun-19 17:39:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

knickas63 Tue 18-Jun-19 16:48:58

Most Definitely! He has lost all tolerence.