I think I should really consider leaving

I honestly thought I was done with all this. I have spoken to my friends and son and they give different advice, so, I'm putting it out to you...you really helped me in the beginning and, sorry, but I'm back. sigh....maybe I should just grow up, but, feeling so f***ing pissed off now. My brain is in over time.
Since moving I've been so much happier trying to get on with things and living my life, I am happy. Then, I get two texts, not messages, texts, why I think that's relevant I don't know. Both start - Cas, hope you're well. I have post should I give to neighbour? He signs it his name (jerkface) with an x (kiss). ugh
I only ever answered yes. No other words, no conversation. So what's with this nicey nicey crap?
Our neighbour who is on my side because, he did witness some stuff, said he would get me my post as I don't want Ex to know where I live. I totally trust neighbour. We stay in touch now and then and he hates jerkface. I know names are immature but right now, don't care.

So last night, all nicey nicey again, I get a message of a picture of a jar of sloe gin we made last autumn and he asked if I wanted him to bottle it and send it to me. Then says he's selling up! I did not answer. I'm not going to answer.
If I'd wanted that gin I would have taken it. I don't give a rats ass what he's doing so why is he telling me this? Is it a stupid reason to let me know what he's doing? There's no need to even talk to me especially after the way he was the final day I moved out, I had been ordered to be at HIS house for 12 noon, and then he read out all the accusations then wouldn't let me fight my corner and made me leave. Rubbing it in my face perhaps?
I have three emails I've started to him fighting my corner. My son says let it go mom, leave him to it, let him ruin his own life. You'll only make it worse. My other friends say send an email and include her too so she can see how much he is lying because it's stuff she will recognise etc.
I'm torn. I know better, leave it. But there is a part of me that is so angry with the stuff he has said. Plus, the police he said he contacted is only his ex's brother in law and he said they sat around the kitchen table discussing me. Sake! I was never bothered by the police anyway.
Anyway, I've said before, what people think about me is none of my business, but in this case, I'm really mad. I can see why I'm mad, I'm hurt, and a lot of other feelings that I don't even have words for! I feel I just want to get him back. I want to hurt him as much as he's hurt me.
I guess I'm wanting someone to tell me what to do. I'm like a little kid who knows better but can't decide. Once again I'm all over the place.
I was thinking of just messaging him and asking him, nicely, please don't contact me again, then block his number.
Someone, please, help, my mom isn't here any more and I really need words of wisdom and some kind of guidance. I haven't gone to relate because I can't afford it.
AND, I'm not going to cry again.
Thank you.
hmm, I think I've answered my self, but I'm putting this out there anyway. I really trust you. x

Sweetie ... you KNOW you are better than this.. block his number... forget ALL of it ....fill your life with YOU...
You have already done all the tough stuff.. you dont need to carry this c..p forward.... this is your time now...let go of the past... and all that was in it.. and make the future everything you want it to be.
You are immensely strong and powerful.
X

Ignore him if you respond he will have got a reaction from you. If you tell what you again he is winning, just blank him that is more annoying then getting a reaction. He treated you appallingly move on let him do whatever it is he is no loss to you.

Good luck x

If I was in your position I would rent a flat, and start spending a few nights a week there. See how you feel about him once you gave some space. Sounds to me like you are his back up plan in case it doesn’t work out with his ex. Sounds like they could be having an affair. I’d want some distance.

Thank you! I have blocked him from Facebook and messenger and texts. I've also deleted the three emails I had started.

Funny how I feel so much lighter now.

Thank you all again.

me x

Stay strong Cas....
The future is all yours..
X

Thank you Gran2028. I honestly cannot believe how much better I feel. Doing something as simple as 'blocking' him. x

I can understand you wanting to get back at him but if you do you are just showing him that he still has control over you. Hard as it may be let it go and as you have now blocked him that should be easier.

Ignore him and you win as he will no longer be able to and he can still pull your strings.

Well done Cas. ???? Blocking him on all media is absolutely the right thing to do. Listen to your son, he is giving you very good advice, ignore the friend's advice. Do not communicate with the creep in any way. He is a expert manipulator and user. He is trying various approaches to see which bait you will take.

Do not waste your precious time time and energy wondering if he's contacting you because, maybe, the new relationship is not working out or maybe he is keeping you on the backburner "just in case". Who wants to be someones spare part? None of it is your problem.

You finally got yourself out of the mess with him, keep focused on making the next chapter of your life a good one - a chapter YOU are writing for yourself and not being dictated by a creep. Stay strong and focussed. Good luck.

Thanks SueH49 and Apricity. I appreciate you. I really do feel so strong right now.
He can think what he wants. I'm no back burner woman and I'm pretty sure it's just his narcissistic ways, he doesn't really care about me. He really thinks the world revolves around him and everyone is watching. ugh
I was looking in my photos on my laptop and there was a couple of pictures of him that I had missed deleting and hand on heart, I felt physically ill when I saw them. Needless to say, those two pics are gone!
Walked this evening in the rain and it was so nice looking around my new neighbourhood. Pretty happy. xx

Well-done, Cas!

And kudos to DS, as well! He is very wise and clearly in your corner.

Glad that your former neighbor is on your side, as well. But I would toss any posts from your X, unless you feel it is important for some reason (financial matters, for example). This is a true case for going NC (no contact). I'm glad you're doing it.

I'm a GN who has just read this story in the Forums. Wow, Cas, you are amazing! An inspirational account, and especially inspiring for anyone who may be going through something like this. Hold fast and be positive - you are a strong woman! Wishing you very happiness in your new life.

That should be every happiness!

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I know how you feel about wanting to get back at him for all the lies, etc. I felt the same about my (now ex) husband, who told so much rubbish about me to anyone who'd listen. However, the best thing to do - which I've done - is to live your life and be thankful that you're rid of him. These people don't change and you're so much better off without him dragging you down. Life is short - live it! Wishing you all the best.

it hurts them more when you don't respond.... block, delete and totally ignore and carry on with the new life you have created for yourself

Thank you again everyone. I truly appreciate all of you. xx