'B' has divided the country, but families too ...

DH and I had been friends with another couple for 40 years (the two men go back over 50 years) until the referendum was proposed. Then we started hearing the most shocking, vile, racist comments from them. To my shame, I have said nothing but inevitably still come into contact with them through a shared hobby.

This couple keep crowing that they 'won' and state that there will be civil unrest if the UK don't leave the EU. Do they think that 'winning' means support for their views?

I can't bring myself to speak to them and also avoid others who were mutual friends/acquaintances and still seem comfortable with them. As far as I'm concerned, nothing can heal this particular breach.

Yes Nana, those that voted leave for racist reasons believed that others that voted leave agreed with them, even if they didnt!

Which gave them "licence" to be mors overt in their racism.

Because of the B issue, I think the whole country is going to hell in a hand cart.

When I sense a B argument happening, I switch to focus on the deadlock in parliament, and ‘ why don’t they just get on with it’.
This covers both sides of the argument and sort of changes the subject.

Sparkly I found that people are less likely to pick up "change the subject" hints when it comes to the big B than they are with other contentous topics

Even "shall we change the subject and not talk about Brexit" doesnt work

It would take a lot of courage, but I think you should challenge theze people on their racist attitudes, even at the risk to your long standing friendshjp. They really need to be told that their opinions are unacceptable.

Personally, I would challenge 'friends' quietly but firmly. But it is different with family - too much at stake. So I/we will deflect, diffuse, avoid, walk away... but also with some, keep away too. That sadly means avoiding to visit or be visited for more than a day ...

I don't know of any families split by referendums or falling out because their politics are different from family members choices. Thank goodness I don't live in such a family group.

I am the polar opposite of one of my sons where politics is concerned but we agree to disagree and love each other dearly. No spats -often heated discussions, but never any falling out.

In my world it's only on GN that I am disliked for my political stance, unfortunately. The vitriol in GN discussion hasn't transferred over into any other sphere of my life fortunately, so perhaps the view that Brexit has caused hatred is blinkered and held only by those who form their views from the internet, don't have an 'off' switch or maybe lack a sense of proportion?

Thank goodness real life is nothing like the cut and thrust of internet opinion sites.

Just because we hold different opinions doesn't mean we should hate each other.

Same here Day6 ??

And here Day6. I must be singularly lucky to have such open minded family, friends and colleagues who can disagree with each other politically without descending into bitter arguments, name calling and feuds.

Day6- for those young people in the OP, it is not really about the 'politics' per se- but the other stuff that spilled over from it all, including racism, prejudice and total lack of empathy.

racism, prejudice and total lack of empathy.?

If these unpleasant traits are being revealed in friends and family members jura, you need to delete them from your life; you've been very unlucky to have them near you. I'm fortunate that I've had no such experiences with my friends, family or colleagues, even though some voted Leave and some voted Remain.

The kind of families who can fight over Brexit are the kinds families always at each other's throats and taking offence at what other members say.

I had a friend in a family like that I could never work out who was talking to whom, who had fallen out with who and which aunt it was that was not allowed to attend my friend's mother's funeral.

Chewbacca, I wrote 'for those young people' - the ones in the OP.

Do people not see all of the pictures on facebook of people that have been beaten up because they speak with a foreign accent? Something that is happening more and more post Brexit? I suppose people will argue that it always happened but didn't get the publicity or that the people posting are liars. As for me, I've never before been afraid to wear a political t shirt or put a political poster up in my window or on my car before, but I am now.

Oh no Labaik, according to this thread, if people take it personally when unpleasant/hateful/untrue comments are proudly made about people like them , it is their character flaw if they view people differently for making such comments.

I hear you and agree notanan....B is a divisive persistent issue, not helped by every minute of media cover focussing on it to the exclusion of everything else our country needs to get on with....

I would think that parents who lack empathy would not be very close to their children anyway, without Brexit being a factor.

Very true Callistemon
jura2 you sound to be very unlucky in some of your relatives, but it seems that fortunately most of us manage to rub along together without anyone falling out over politics/religion/race issues.

We have relatives all over the world, from very different backgrounds. And we are very very lucky as most are wonderful. And I have never fallen out with anyone ... I have just chosen to quietly drop anyone who has shown to be utterly racist.

The OP is not about me, it is a reaction to so many young people, Brits in the EU, who are in despair about their parents' Leave at all cost, No Deal, WTO ... without any sympathy with the difficulties that will put their children and grandchildren in, and without any willingness to listen to them. I get that, I really do.

Sadly, I'm not surprised anymore when I hear of families fighting or breaking up over B. It has become a very emotional issue, as this thread has shown.

without any sympathy with the difficulties that will put their children and grandchildren in, and without any willingness to listen to them.
They sound like the type of families who would always be battling over anything and everything and stomping off on their high horses.

A close member of our family voted for Brexit , no problem there, everyone is entitled to their opinion & to vote as they chose.
It has however become apparent that they hold some unpleasant racist views which they use to support the way in which they voted.
We haven't "fallen out" out over this. Sadly however I have lost a significant amount of respect for them & would not choose to be in their company.

The are also families where no one bothers to learn about politics, where they may not bother to vote or may not even bother to register. Yet they are all still inclined to complain and ask why "they" don't do something .

Callistemon 'without any sympathy with the difficulties that will put their children and grandchildren in, and without any willingness to listen to them.
They sound like the type of families who would always be battling over anything and everything and stomping off on their high horses.'

you are showing massive ignorance of the real consequences of Brexit for some British expats living in EU- you really do. And even more for those who have spouses who are not British and may have to return to live in UK as they lose their permits in EU- and will have to prove they have an income of around 28000 to 33000 before they can bring their spouse to UK. The hardship and heartache is huge, and it will split families. If parents cannot sympathise for their children and grandchildren being caught in this kind of tragedy (and I don't use the word lightly) - then I am not surprised they are not keen on visiting them or being visited (especially as visits abroad or back to UK are for 1 week or more due to distance- quick Sunday lunch or coffee might be possible, and a quick exit if things get a bit heated- but week/s under the same roof, NO. My parents always visited for 2 to 3 weeks, and we were so close and got on so well- but even then, it was a bit much at times. Add Brexit and just NO.