'B' has divided the country, but families too ...

It would take a lot of courage, but I think you should challenge theze people on their racist attitudes, even at the risk to your long standing friendshjp. They really need to be told that their opinions are unacceptable.

Even "shall we change the subject and not talk about Brexit" doesnt work

Sparkly I found that people are less likely to pick up "change the subject" hints when it comes to the big B than they are with other contentous topics

Because of the B issue, I think the whole country is going to hell in a hand cart.

When I sense a B argument happening, I switch to focus on the deadlock in parliament, and ‘ why don’t they just get on with it’.
This covers both sides of the argument and sort of changes the subject.

Yes Nana, those that voted leave for racist reasons believed that others that voted leave agreed with them, even if they didnt!

Which gave them "licence" to be mors overt in their racism.

DH and I had been friends with another couple for 40 years (the two men go back over 50 years) until the referendum was proposed. Then we started hearing the most shocking, vile, racist comments from them. To my shame, I have said nothing but inevitably still come into contact with them through a shared hobby.

This couple keep crowing that they 'won' and state that there will be civil unrest if the UK don't leave the EU. Do they think that 'winning' means support for their views?

I can't bring myself to speak to them and also avoid others who were mutual friends/acquaintances and still seem comfortable with them. As far as I'm concerned, nothing can heal this particular breach.

So, not everyone who votes leave is a racist. They might just have thought it through and reached a different conclusion.

If its welfare use you want to reduce blondenanna its brits not immigrants that your issue is with.

Chewbacca that attitude is so unfair to people who have had the rug pulled out from underneath their whole lives due to brexit.

It is not petty if it upsets them that people in their families wanted that to happen!

I don;t see that wanting less immigration is racist, yes we need some immigrants, but not those who end up living off the welfare state, and there are plenty,
Why are a lot of these coming in, still unemployed and bringing all their families too
Lots of our Drs and nurses were immigrants initially, but they have come with skills or learned skills,
Genuine immigrants yes, but what about all the illegals who are coming in by the boat load, and being allowed to stay

I have never, ever, heard anyone suggest that all leave voters were racist. That is a slur bandied about by the liars of the leave campaign. I am pretty sure we all know folk who voted leave who are definitely not racists. So lets not keep repeating that slur.

What has become pretty evident, however, and has been shown in many surveys, is that all, or very nearly all, of the racists who voted in the fraudulent referendum, voted leave.

Just yesterday, in our local pub, I heard a leave voter, who I would not accuse of being a racist, say as much and he pointed to the topic of immigration and the effect of liar Farage's infamous "breaking point" poster as the deciding factor.

It's a sad fact of life that, some people are so argumentative and malcontentious that they could fall out with an empty house. Brexit has just provided some people with something to focus their ire on and beat people over the head repeatedly for not agreeing with their views. Best avoid them, and the social media sites that spouts such divisive claptrap, if it causes you to worry about it.

kitty- as said above, it depends how and why it was done. If a vote is associated in friends or family circles, as an anti immigration vote, with comments and prejudice to match - as sadly the young people in the group mentionned- then it is a different thing. These young people are not falling out with their families because they voted differently- but because of what they have said and expressed concurrently- and because they refused to see how it puts their children and grandchildren in very difficult, negatively life-changing and stressful situations- and their total lack of empathy - and often sheer and bl*ody provocation.

A twerp - blimey, not come across that word for a long time. BTW I have not fallen out with anyone, and made sure of that- despite huge provocation. I have at times quietly walked out and taken the dog for a walk to avoid confrontation. But yes, some of the virulent anti-immigration, and yes, racism - and anti EU rhetoric and nonsense, and total lack of understanding re No Deal and WTO (do listen to Rory Stewart on WTO- he explains ti really well)- means that although I would NOT allow falling out- I/we in fact- have no desire to spend time and shared holdaysn having to listen to that twerpish twaddle and having the DM thrust into our face either.

Spoilt brats, just spitting their dummies out, it;s all talk
Maybe hoping to blackmail their families into changing their minds,take no notice

But, why does voting leave equate to being racist?

I dont really understand what you are saying notanan2, can you explain.

I have never asked DC how they voted. I assume they voted remain, as we did. But I do not know.

We have for a more intersting things to talk about than constantly harping on political issues.

I certainly Kitty don't think all Brexiteers are racist - far from it but with a lot of people it all comes down to immigration. What they do not realise is that these so called immigrants are maintaining many of our industries including the NHS!

You will realise I also voted to remain. Having lived in Europe for 18 years I am an European not an insular Brit!

Kitty, a lot, A LOT, of people on both sides behaved appaulingly around referendum time. It unveiled a nasty side to society and individuals.

Statements made cant be unheard.

Why does voting leave equate to being racist?

I voted remain btw.

*I'm puzzled by how these parents who voted leave were able to hide their racist views from their children all those years.
Surely it didn't come as a shock when they voted as they did.*

I would disagree. The referendum brought out sides of society as well as individuals that I had previously underestimated

After Brexit, EU citizens status if they want to come to UK or be reuined with family, or if Brits have non brit partners ans children (and reciprocal agreements for brits abroad) will be based on the home offices CURRENT policies, not what they were back prior to EU membership.

How can people not understand that? It CANT be like pre membership. It will fall within CURRENT frameworks for non eu to eu movement, not historical ones that are long gone

GrannyGravy13
Here's a thought what about trying to get along with others whether they be friends or family immaterial of how they voted.

That only works if both/all sides are prepared to try.
Believe me, it can definitely wreck a relationship if someone can't or won't either keep their very strong views to themselves, or at least meet the other person half way and agree to differ.

I was not referring to your friends, dragonfly, after all I don't know them, but to the parents mentioned in the OP, now cut off by their children.

Because they are probably not at all racist but had other reasons for voting leave, petra

This is all rather OTT - exactly how many are so many?
Five, ten, hundreds, thousands?

Petra our friends do not have children but they hid their racist views for years from us. It could be of course that they have developed them recently.