elderly mother with narcissistic personality disorder

I agree with much what you say about they are never wrong. My brother was so cruel and spread lies and you can stand there defending yourself and it does nothing as people don’t want to know. Those that really know you matter the most

I think some people will defend or refuse to acknowledge the bad behaviour of others because if they recognise it in others they would have to see it in themselves. Some people just can't handle any guilt or shame so will turn mental somersaults to always be right and good or paint themselves the victim.

People with NPD don't experience guilt or shame, they just don't have the emotions necessary to recognise them.

So many sad, painful stories here! My heart is aching for all of you who have dealt w/ this horrible pain!

Not sure I agree with that, I think they paint over it with many layers, but it is there somewhere seething away underneath. People who defend them were more who I was referring to though. I also do not believe all with NPD are abusive, being abusive is a choice to anyone who knows right from wrong. If you don't know you are abusive you wouldn't try to hide it. I'm definitely not an expert though.

Ziggy, meant to ask earlier, have you discussed the issues concerning your AC and GC w/ your psychiatrist? I hope so.

Starlady
I haven't seen psychiatrist since 2015.
Sadly most parents with NPD turn family members against each other. I was always the scapegoat of the family, it was always me she blamed. As I may have mentioned as a very young child I was constantly told "If I end up back in the mental hospital it will all be your fault"
I've just learned to live a different life now. I have a truly wonderful husband and maybe in time things will change with my family

I can identify with an NPD parent turning family members against each other Ziggy62. I've three siblings and one is the golden child and we other three are not close for various reasons that can be traced back to the toxic parent. I think the recipe for a long life is to have NPD (this parent is late nineties and going strong), and to take real pleasure from winding up your family. Needless to say only one child stands to inherit - but that's another thread.

Tea3, so very true. I was only saying to my husband the other day that my mother will probably live another 10 years. Only the good die young lol.

I think causing so much trouble then enjoying the drama of it is as entertaining for her as Coronation Street

Ah well, I have no regrets over going NC, I'm protecting my own mental health and feel happier than I have ever have before.