Gransnet forums


Loose lips

(34 Posts)
LadyOz Sun 14-Jul-19 16:15:34

My DH of nearly 50 yrs tells people things that I would rather they did not know.
I am quite a private person and just don't like others knowing my business, especially personal stuff.
He says he is proud of me and wants others to know it.

Do you think I'm the one with the problem as I don't even like telling people where I'm going on holiday for instance and I especially don't care for telling people how much things cost!
He will be out and about and when he comes home he'll say something like "oh I saw so and so and told them blah blah blah" and it just really infuriates me.

I am excellent at keeping a confidence and obviously don't tell him stuff that friends have asked me not to.
Even the kids won't tell him stuff.

Alima Sun 14-Jul-19 16:27:08

For a moment I thought this thread was about something else, luckily it isn’t!

lemongrove Sun 14-Jul-19 16:30:05

Loose lips sink ships?

lemongrove Sun 14-Jul-19 16:31:24

That was a wartime saying Alima .......but possibly you were thinking a bit more ahem! Personal? grin

Alima Sun 14-Jul-19 16:32:37

Got it in two Lemon.

lemongrove Sun 14-Jul-19 16:34:03

LadyOz if hour DH is giving out really personal info then that’s not on, but more general stuff such as where you are thinking of holidaying, or have bought etc isn’t all that bad surely?
If it really bothers you, then you will have to have a stern word with him.😁

Calendargirl Sun 14-Jul-19 17:00:26

Has he always done this? If you’ve been married for nearly 50 years, I would have tried to ‘educate’ him sooner to your way of thinking.

Wobbles Sun 14-Jul-19 17:13:22

My husband is exactly the same. I've told him many times not to talk about me but the final straw was telling a person he sees regularly when walking our dog about a health condition I'm seeing my GP for.
I was genuinely upset and angry he felt sharing this was ok and to my knowledge he hasn't done it since.

BlueBelle Sun 14-Jul-19 17:20:21

If you ve had it for 50 years you must be used to it by now and if you haven’t changed him in 50 years you ain’t going to now
Some people play they cards close to their chests some wear their heart on their sleeve afraid I m the later although I can be careful if someone’s asked me not to talk about something I will always honour that but otherwise I m a bit of an open book

MissAdventure Sun 14-Jul-19 19:38:30

How about ensuring your husband is in earshot and then telling a stranger; "Of course, my (insert husbands name) is an absolute martyr to his bowels..."
Then begin to tell them some stories to prove your statement.

BradfordLass72 Mon 15-Jul-19 08:13:48

MissAdventure off topic but you just reminded me that a few weeks ago, a friend told me her daughter had made 'some lovely bowels' in pottery class.

I tried not to laugh because it's actually the Kiwi accent.
They will also say 'knowen' as in 'I should have knowen it wouldn't fit.'

dragonfly46 Mon 15-Jul-19 10:55:34

My husband also talks about my business but not only that he gets it wrong! I have, however, got used to it after 50 odd years and I really think at the end of the day it doesn't really matter.

GabriellaG54 Mon 15-Jul-19 10:56:57

How very dare you...😳😊🤣

sarahellenwhitney Mon 15-Jul-19 11:27:20

Unless your DH is 'thick skinned' then play him at his own game.Do some research as there must be something gringringrinH prefers kept behind 'closed doors'grin

Juliet27 Mon 15-Jul-19 11:31:13

My DH is the complete opposite...never tells anyone anything. Someone he worked with for years didn't even realise he had children.

sarahellenwhitney Mon 15-Jul-19 11:38:56

Got it in one.

Dianehillbilly1957 Mon 15-Jul-19 11:39:32

My other half is a bit like that sometimes. It infuriates me as I keep my cards close to my chest, hate folk knowing all about my business...So sometimes I have to tell him to keep his gob shut..
We know men don't think like us whatsoever!!!
He seems to think I'm strange, so I'm glad to read your post & releived it's not just me..🤣

sazz1 Mon 15-Jul-19 11:51:34

I don't tell my OH anything personal unless I want to share it myself with friends an family for the same reason

Nvella Mon 15-Jul-19 11:57:47

I am an open book and would never care what anyone knows about me - well I might not give out my bank pin number!

Grammaretto Mon 15-Jul-19 11:58:21

My DH is the same and got worse as he gets older as he tends to forget it's a private matter.
He's known as a blabbermouth.
If I make the mistake of confiding in him,and ofcourse I do, I have to make him promise not to share it.
Just now outside the post office a woman acquaintance stopped me to chat. I told her it was DHs birthday at the weekend and she wanted to know his age. I told her but didn't really want our ages discussed.
My fault for mentioning it.
The weather is the only safe topic..... and even then wink

grandtanteJE65 Mon 15-Jul-19 11:59:28

Well, it would infuriate me too, but as you have been married to the man for 50 years (congrats) surely by now,you have stopped telling him things you don't want the rest of the world to know?

LadyOz Mon 15-Jul-19 12:49:34

Thanks for all your comments Gransnetters. Glad I'm not alone. grin

EthelJ Mon 15-Jul-19 14:33:09

My DH is a bit that way, he thinks he can keep a secret but he cant seem to help himself. Over the years I have learnt not to tell him anything I don't want shared

Saggi Mon 15-Jul-19 14:55:33

Don’t tell him anything about what’s going on in your life ....especially medical. If he doesn’t like it just tell him that you cant trust him with your personal information anymore....remind him you’ve asked that he keeps your privacy but ignores you, so from now on you will keep him in the dark.

Rainwashed Mon 15-Jul-19 14:55:35

I also thought the thread was about something else. My husband is the opposite and does not like me telling people things however banal.