Gransnet forums

Relationships

Moaning negativity

(101 Posts)
Peonyrose Sat 27-Jul-19 07:48:06

My friend and I had just arrived at our table for a meal, we meet up every month or so, when an old aquaintances plonked her self down at our table, she smiled and said how are you, before we could answer, she went into a fifteen minute rant of her ungrateful daughter, her lousy neighbours, her builders who had ripped her off, the neighbourhood going down, the leaking guttering and what's the point of a lot of money when you're old. It was so depressing, in the end her three friends came and she went to their table. Well I hope it got it off her chest, because it depressed me. Probably never bump into her again, but who would want to be with someone like that. The friend who I was with said my face was a picture, oh dear!

MawBroonsback Sat 27-Jul-19 07:52:57

She clearly needs to join Gransnet - might find some kindred spirits and spare you the hassle!

BlueBelle Sat 27-Jul-19 07:54:54

I have noticed a big increase in moaning everyone seems to moan about everything from the weather too hot, too cold, too dry, too dampI know I had a big old moan on here about the trains the other day but on the whole I try to see either the funny side or the positives in all situations
It has massively increased lately and I wonder if it’s the country’s situation made us all get worse
We are known around the world as the moaning nation but it has got worse
I can empathise with you

loopyloo Sat 27-Jul-19 07:58:28

You may never know how helpful it was for her to be able to let off steam like that. Thank you for listening to her.

Sara65 Sat 27-Jul-19 08:03:42

Bluebelle

I agree, I know things go wrong for all of us, but I find the people who actually have very little to worry about, seem unable to cope with the smallest upset in their lives, whereas, those who are living with terrible heartbreak, just seem to get in with it.

sodapop Sat 27-Jul-19 08:29:06

It's all relative though Sara65 our own problems always take on huge proportions even though others, as you say have much more serious ones. We are all self centred to an extent I think.

Sara65 Sat 27-Jul-19 08:36:57

Yes, Sodapop, I know what you mean. But I think Peonyrose it right about some people always being negative about everything, when other people have much bigger burdens to bear.

Grannyknot Sat 27-Jul-19 08:40:58

You were a bit trapped, with her coming to your table! I've got a neighbour like that and I'm always "in a hurry" when she stops to talk to me, having learnt that she just likes to moan all the time. Draining.

Here's a joke that might make you smile smile

Luckygirl Sat 27-Jul-19 08:47:59

Maybe she felt better for getting it all off her chest. I hope that you went on to have a jolly meal!

If you happen to see her again and she is waxing lyrical about excess unused money, then perhaps you might send her my way and I would be happy to relieve her of that problem . grin

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sat 27-Jul-19 08:48:21

Love the cartoon Grannyknot!
I expect many of us like to have a good moan but I had no idea we were known as the moaning nation. Surely it's better to moan than to get violent and throw a brick through a window?
Could this heat be shortening our tempers?

Grammaretto Sat 27-Jul-19 08:55:47

You are not one of life's moaners Bluebelle just a good story teller.
Wasn't it Ena Sharples and her cronies who constantly moaned in corrie , in the early days?
I seem to always end up talking about death with this one friend, once we've been through politics, men, other health issues, that is.
She never bitches about others though, which is nice.
I must try to check myself........

Joyfulnanna Sat 27-Jul-19 08:58:15

I don't mind anyone having a moan but it has to be reciprocal. We all need to let off steam, some do it easier than others. Personally I find it a bit weird if you know someone who has nothing to moan about, like they don't want to share anything of themselves. But of course there is a limit. People that are good listeners tend to be dumped on, we all need to be more assertive and know when to retreat.

Auntieflo Sat 27-Jul-19 09:51:00

Not a moan, but a bit of an irritant. A couple of weeks ago, we arranged to meet a couple in our Church coffee shop, for a good catch up. One, then two, then three people joined us, and promptly took over the conversation. We still haven’t managed to catch up!

EllanVannin Sat 27-Jul-19 10:23:14

I think we all have something to moan about, some more than others and at the same time some can suppress their moans more than others can and sadly these are the people who've probably got more than their fair share and wouldn't know where to start so they're unlikely to open up as easily.

I often think and say to myself " some people need something to moan about " when I hear a trivial grouse. These are the ones who get on my wick moaning for moaning's sake ! Many of us have to get on with things.

KatyK Sat 27-Jul-19 10:58:03

I must be a good listener! I know quite a few people who plonk themselves down in front of me and moan or brag about their lives then get up and leave without asking about me and mine

TerriBull Sat 27-Jul-19 11:09:13

I think some people just talk at you, mainly about themselves. We had some friends stay with us prior to going to live the other side of the world, they asked if a friend of theirs, who we knew, could pop in to say goodbye as she was passing our area. She stayed for 2 hours talked non stop, about her, her house, her aging parents, her children, their relationships, their jobs, her job.......on and on she went hardly pausing for breath, didn't ask anything about any of us. I was tempted to say "well that's enough about you, let's focus on our friends here, who, as you know, are going thousands of miles away to live" I do wonder if some people know that they are delivering a monologue and haven't grasped the concept of a two way/or more conversation.

KatyK Sat 27-Jul-19 11:15:10

My neighbour is like that Terri. I often say to DH that I could drop dead and she'd carry on talking about herself and people I've never heard of.

TerriBull Sat 27-Jul-19 11:26:13

KatyK, awful to be so self obsessed shock

KatyK Sat 27-Jul-19 11:27:30

Yes and it's bad manners.

EllanVannin Sat 27-Jul-19 11:31:29

Oh Lord, there's a neighbour near me who's the same as that KatyK-----all about herself and how much money you should have ! 5/6 holidays a year, washing line constantly full of holiday clothes---on hangers, loud voice so that she can be heard bragging to others in the road-----and a know-all to boot ! I don't speak to her now and used to avoid her like the plague anyway.

KatyK Sat 27-Jul-19 11:44:59

It's awful isn't it? My neighbour is 91 so I make allowances but she's been like this since we moved here 35 years ago. Still, she is kind behind it all.

Sara65 Sat 27-Jul-19 11:52:32

My friend and I have a moan to each other at times, sometimes she’s got more to moan about than me, sometimes the other way around , but we always spend much more time on other subjects, probably good to rant for five minutes, but then just get on with it

lemongrove Sat 27-Jul-19 12:13:01

There are times, with old friends that a good moan actually does you all good, you offload it all together.
The problem is more when one person moans nonstop at others, while they are forced to listen with the realisation that the moaner isn’t in the least interested in them.
There are people though ( we all know at least one) who are habitual moaners that we would cross the street to avoid, were it possible.Negativity is depressing.

petra Sat 27-Jul-19 12:23:57

KatyK
Where do I start with people like that. I've been pondering for some time now on how to 'get rid of' a friend like that.
If she lived further away I would drop her like a hot potato.
We met a year ago at a charity where I work ( she has now left)
We started to socialise together and it became very clear that she had just one topic of conversation: her past life as a pub landlady.
Don't get me wrong, some stories are amusing but when you've heard them infinitum it's very very boring.

She 'popped in' on the hottest day forever at 10.30 and if I hadn't said at 3.30 "on that note, I'm taking you home" she would still have been there at midnight.
Some of you might have read that a few weeks back 4 of us brought a boat from Marseille to a marina in Essex.
Pretty interesting you would think? No! Not a word has been mentioned only "are you home"
I must stop now as I feel I'm on a roll and sometimes other people's problems can get boring 😞

Joyfulnanna Sat 27-Jul-19 12:45:53

Katyk that happens to me too..