Doting grandparents ???

Dote: "love or care about them very much and ignore any faults they may have." Yes, that's me, unashamedly. It doesn't mean I spoil them or let them get away with things they shouldn't. I do give them my undivided attention.

It's quite normal to adore your grandchildren.

It wears off a bit when they get to be pesky teenagers.

I agree with others above. You need to find out exactly what it is you’re doing that’s annoying your AC and try to rein it in. I’ll plead guilty to being a bit of a doter, but I don’t let this translate into over-indulging or not correcting bad behaviour.

I, for one, do not dote on my granchildren.

Doting suggests an unreasoning emotion blind to faults (and grandchildren do have them) and far too indulgent. Not as dangerous as doting parents, but still not good

Loving them dearly, Suggests still the fond connection but a more intelligent and rational emotion that can cope with DGC not being perfect and when they need to be restrained and controlled.

I suppose something you are doing/saying is irritating your son or daughter, why don’t you try and ask which aspect of your behaviour is annoying them, it maybe that you’re just a bit over the top.

One set of grandchildren I see a lot of, the others live too far away for regular contact, probably see them every couple of months, I have never been bothered by this, they come and stay in the holidays, and the youngest FaceTimes quite often, but although I’m always happy to see them, I don’t miss them at all.

Of course we all love our grandkids but I would never use the words ‘adore or dote on’ which does sound really intense Obviously if your adult child has said you are too intense they must be finding you over the top in how you behaviour when you see them as you are not ‘over’ seeing them You don’t go into any details as to what your daughter (son) finds too much but I think you need to have a little head search and see if you think they could be right
If you only see the child once every three weeks what do you do for the parents to say you are too intense maybe give us some ideas of what behaviour they find unacceptable

Loving is one thing, I'm not so sure about the doting and adoring bit. We all think our grandchildren are very special. They are, afterall, life affirming itself right before our eyes. You may "think the world" of your grandchildren but so do millions and millions of other grandparents of their GC. You aren't the only loving and proud grandma in the world.

When and how much time you spend with your GC is dependent on so many variables including family relationships, location, school, sport, employment and health to name just a few. Each family has to negotiate and renegotiate as grandchildren grow and circumstances change what works best for them.

It is not up to your children to ensure that the time you spend with your grandchild is 'quality time'. Parents are busy, kids get tired and cranky etc etc....The reality is that unless you are a help and support to them and fit your expectations around the realities of their daily life and commitments you will find you are less and less welcome.

Aquamarine, you are not wrong or abnormal but perhaps you are expecting too much. Love for both your adult children and grandchild can be demonstrated in many ways. Maybe your adult child is trying to quietly tell you that you are being a bit over the top and perhaps need to step back a bit?

You're not 'abnormal' at all, Aquamarine. I, too, dote on my grandchildren. (And, if we're being honest, who doesn't?)

I love my grandson very much but usually only see him in the school holidays for a day her and there.

I see him far less often than I would like but I'm not always asking if I can (and not implying you do either Aquamarine) as I know life is very full for the whole family and they deserve time to 'flop' at weekends and holiday times.

I suppose it depends how you define 'adore and dote on'.

Just loving him is enough for me.
He's great company, very smart and funny and at 10 years old, he may be getting to the age when he simply doesn't want to spend much time at my house away from friends and all his 'applications'

But I'm grateful for what I can get and won't put pressure on my family.

Does your son give examples of "too intense"?

I must admit, for me, I never understand any more than love for my grandchildren, none of the adoration or worship.