Husband wants to end 30 year marriage

I have never posted in a forum like this before but I don’t know what to do or where to turn for help.

This might be quite a long post.

25 years ago my husband falsely accused me of infidelity. He left me and two small children. During the time we were apart he received treatment for depression. After 6 months he wanted to try again and so I agreed.

We rebuilt our marriage - moved house- had a third child. I thought we were very happy. Occasionally we would row about my alleged infidelity. I would protest my innocence and eventually he would apologise and life would resume normality.

5 years ago I was diagnosed with a brain tumour. I had surgery which saved my life by left me permanently disabled. My husband was amazing and in the aftermath our lives seemed to take on a new happiness. We bought a holiday home and moved to our dream home. Live was blissful and I couldn’t believe how happy we were. This was compounded earlier this year when our eldest son, now a doctor, got married. We are also planning our daughters wedding next year ...

Six weeks ago after a delightful evening with some close friends and completely out of the blue the 25-year old accusations came out again. He was vilely verbally abusive. The next day he continued and so I went to our cottage for a few days hoping they he would cool off. He apologised after a few days and begged me to come home. The only condition I gave was that this could never happen again. He agreed.

Two weeks later I had a routine smear test and tested positive for HPV. He went apoplectic and said that this was proof of my infidelity all those years ago. He was vile to me. I cannot repeat some of the disgusting things that he said to me. The difference is that this time it has continued and now he says our marriage is over. He has recently been put on statins and blood pressure tablets ( which he did not tell me about). And is receiving help for depression again something he has not shared with me. I am trying to hold our marriage together but he keeps verbally berating and abusing me.

I have done nothing to deserve this. I cannot understand what is happening. The most hurtful thing is that he really me he has been unhappy for all our marriage and only stayed with me for the children. I cannot understand this as I thought we were very happy. He is my life and I don’t know what will do without him. Neither of us have told anyone else. I am desperately worried how this will affect my children - despite them all having left home and now living their own lives, especially if he continues to slander my reputation.

Please help me - we are living apart in the same house and it is killing me. I am distraught he won’t talk to me or associate with me in any way.