Travel to see daughter and GD

First: do you enjoy visiting your daughter three times a year and does she enjoy having you? If these are purely duty visits, I would suggest cutting out at least one of them.

Even if you both enjoy the visits you may soon have to go less often, as obviously the journey is a difficult one for you.

Talk to your daughter and tell her honestly that the journey is becoming to difficult, but you detest the thought of seeing her less. Suggest she comes to you twice a year instead of once.

I think it’s fantastic that you are willing to travel 3 trains 200 miles to see your daughter, well done you. And for the record I’m not patronising you, you sound like a lovely mum. I do think you should talk to your daughter though and explain that your arthritis is getting worse, I agree she should visit more, but if you have been visiting every 3 months maybe it’s not crossed her mind that she could make the journey to you more, she’s most likely oblivious to the fact you are finding it harder now

My mother in law daughter is a selfish cow she has only visted her 3 times in nearly a year.The time she allowed her to stay with had to drive half of the distance to a service sation so her daughter would turn up to allow her to vist.She lives in Norwich but she might as well live the other side of the world the interest she takes in her mom.When she was seriously ill in hospital we cancelled our holiday to Australia and visted everyday and she came up once and didn't even stay over
My mom diedclast year was ny best friend i rang her every day and visted 3 times a week
Her attitude to her mum completely sickens me that i no longer have anything to do with her.When she does come up for the royal vist i do not vist.She is a complete waste of space

I mean we had to drive her half way as she wouldn't fetch her mom
She retired and her mum 90

@bingo12

That turmeric paste you mention, is it taken internally or applied to the joint?

As for the person criticising a daughter for visiting more to wind up the estate than when she was alive. I had to clear out my mother's council flat in a couple of weeks. That entailed a five-hour journey with my small child every Friday evening, working in the flat all weekend and then back again on Sunday evening. It is not that easy when you have young children and a job to make those journeys.

Houndi, it's beautiful that your mum was your best friend, etc. But I don't think we can assess other people's relationships by our own. I doubt you know what issues there are between your SisIL and MIL. If you don't like SIL, you don't like her. But please don't judge so easily. You've cut SIL out of your life for your reasons. She hasn't done that to her mum, but my guess is she has her own reasons why she doesn't visit her mum that often.

You can visit her less but it doesnt mean she will visit you more.

Is there any way you could afford a taxi maybe one way then public transport for the other?

If you cut down your visits to perhaps three a year it might be affordable. Train fares certainly aren’t cheap so the difference in price might not be that great.

If it were me I would be willing to make sacrifices somewhere to save the money for that taxi.

I am not a fan of public transport!

A private car with driver (like a taxi but not) from my door to London (a few counties away) actually costs less than train tickets there for me these days unless I find an unusually good deal.

Although its percieved as a luxury it can actually be a cheap option.

Taxis are more expensive ask firms that specialise in private hire & airport transfers

My OH was a private hire driver during the latter part of his working life. He had several grannies who used him as transport for family visits. One used to take two cases of wine with her when she was babysitting! It was cheaper than train tickets, they could take more luggage which they didn’t have to carry and enjoyed the door to door service. One client commented that she enjoyed having a man to chat to as most of her contemporaries were widows like her. Win win for both parties especially as one lady’s family lived a few streets away from my middle brother-in-law.

P.S. Most councils have a list of licensed private hire drivers who should be happy to give you a quotation.

Just wondering London1948. You say your partner thinks your daughter should visit you more than once a year and then you go on to detail all the problems you have...so is it your partner? or you that thinks your daughter should visit more often? Be honest with yourself.

Personally IF I found it too much I would just be honest and say to my daughter...."I simply can't do it any more". No need to involve anyone else.

Up to daughter then to decide IF and WHEN she can visit you really isn't it?