Lost soul

I am not in your place but i would say do not waste energy feeling a failure, instead make plans......60 is not really all that old.
You can achieve much if you try.
Do you have any friends or family in the UK?

Berbel, I have done that and with very little money. I made plans, asked questions etc before doing it. It can be done.

Im awfully sorry about the situation you are in. I don't know what to offer in way of advice. Have you tried talking to your husband? Is it really over? Perhaps other folks on the forum have advice they can give you.

You're not a failure because you want to end your marriage. You can't make yourself feel happy if you're not. I would consider myself a failure if I stayed and wasted my valuable life.
However I would perhaps talk to a counsellor, maybe husband would too, and be sure I am making the best choice.
You are young enough to change your life and be happier. It takes courage but you can do it. I did.

Berber1 … Your not a failure. I'm sorry your feeling low. A marriage that doesn't work is a huge burden to carry around.
Take it one step at a time

if you have no income, why would being in UK be better ?

Where are you living now? I think you should make thorough enquiries about financial matters before doing anything irreversible. You don’t say how long you have been away, but the UK has changed a lot over the past decades. There is no longer an obligation for the council to house you, and we now have older people sleeping rough.

If you have not contributed to a UK pension, it is unlikely that you will get one, and in any case, even those who have contributed now have to wait until 66 or 67. You probably won’t get any benefits, either, and you would be expected to work, at least for 6 or 7 years. If you emigrated recently, and paid NI before you left, you might have some entitlements, but probably not for very much.

If you have no income, which suggests that you are not getting a pension from the country you live in either, I would take legal advice about what you are entitled to take from the marriage, and find out whether it would be enough to buy accommodation or cover the rent until you can sort out an income. If so, it will be scary, but starting again can be done.

It’s not a good position to be in, and I’m sorry that you facing this. You are not a failure, but the system is very inflexible these days.

Is there any way you could leave your husband and stay where you are living now?

How will you live here Berbel with no home or money? Your marriage is joyless but you have to live, how do you propose financing this move, what is your job, will that keep youHave you a pension?

What do you mean by joyless? What do you mean by you THINK it is over? Doesn’t sound like your husband wants to end it?

We don’t know any background so makes it hard to advise. Is he abusive? Controlling? Do you feel like a prisoner abroad OR is he just disinterested? do you have friends and outside interests? Do you like your life abroad in other respects?

If you divorce is there a house to split? Do you have family or friends in Uk who could help you until finances are settled?

Lots of things to consider
But if you decide it is definitely what you want then you can do it! Good luck

You would fail yourself if you stay married to him.
You are no failure so come back home and start again.

One step at a time till things are clear in your mind. Start living your own life, meet friends, join clubs etc and see what happens. He may realise what he is missing and make more effort ? But either way, the answer will slowly but surely come to you which path you must take. Do not waste your life, we only get one remember .... make a bucket list and make plans for your future one way or another. After 33 years you cannot class yourself as a failure ?

Is it the marriage that is joyless or your life? At only 60 are you working, do you enjoy your job? Or are you home all the time in which case surely you must get bored? If you have children, which country do they live in?
Be careful not to rush into anything until you know what you would be getting into - if you have friends or family in UK you could come back and investigate the job market. Assuming you get work, try living here for a year before splitting up with husband. Perhaps if you change into a more joyful person it will change your husband too, but if not, at least you will have established an alternative life.

You are so young to be this miserable. Have a talk with your husband and then if you still feel like you want to leave then make tracks and do so.Life is too short and this is no rehearsal. I left my first husband who was a wife beater after 20 years. I had very little and started again, I was 38 years old. Then I met another useless peace of space and stayed with him for 10 years. I left and started again with even less than nothing. I spent 5 years on my own with my youngest son and it was the best years of my life. I then met my next husband and we have been married for 12 years. It’s not perfect but I am now heading for 70 and not intending to start again. You are still young with lots of years ahead of you to enjoy. Let me know how you get on and PM me if you want a friend. Take care and sending love and hugs.

You don't say how much planning you have done (see posts above!), what jobs you are qualified for / skilled at, or how long since you lived and worked in the UK.
The beauty of the internet is that you can do your research from where you are.
Gov.uk is the website to begin with. You will find lost of information about your rights, what benefits you may be able to claim and so on. You can use it to get a pension forecast as well, which will help in your plans.
Citizens Advice Bureau have a very good web-based enquiry service.
If you have someone in the UK that you would be ailing to stay with initially, then I would look on their local authority website.
You can do all of this whilst also doing as Coconut suggests, and I hope it will make it clearer for you. I think as you do that you will find strength and purpose to make decisions.
Good luck!

Couldn’t you try making it a little more joyful? Don’t be conned into a belief that you are owed a fulfilling life, weirdly more joy gained from giving to others and your obligations. In the end. We all get bored

Sorry that you are feeling so down - is this a recent feeling or have you felt this way for some time? Have you seen a GP about what seems to be depression ?
You need to speak to your husband - he may be feeling the same and just maybe there are ways and means for you to possibly have counselling to see if your marriage is irrepareable, before you make the final move away from the relationship.
If it isn't , you need to seek legal advice, if you can, to see just what you are entitled to as far as share of property etc.
You don't say if you are working, your husband is working or you have both retired.
Is there a friend that you can talk to? Sometimes just having a chat , saying what you think and feel to someone that is outside the situation can crystalize the next thing that you can do and may also help you to see that you are not as alone as you think.

You are definitely not a failure , or if you are then so is half the world!
Marriages end, partnerships end, it's often sad but perfectly normal.
Be careful to decide what you really want and then go for it.
I was a bit younger than you, 53, when I made a new start. It definitely can be done. Sending best wishes to you, good luck.

I am so sorry you find yourself feeling this way Before you decide to take any action. Step back. As has been mentioned start looking at things to improve where you are now to help you improve your self esteem. Take the time to try new things, alone and as a couple if your husband is willing. Whilst doing this say nothing and quietly collate information on your options and where you would stand should you choose to divorce. This way you might feel stronger in yourself and be aware of your options before you make your choice. Good luck op.

I do feel do very sorry for berbel and send you warm hugs if that's any help.
I'm 60 and feeling useless but in a very different way most probably because I feel deep loneliness but I do intend to change things for the better this year.
Good luck and hope you find the strength to go forward

Berbel, the real 'massive failure' would be to do nothing. Don't be negative.

Take courage and make a change. It's so often true that as one door closes, another one opens.

Embrace the prospect of new opportunities and new happiness. Everyone deserves to!

You are not a failure, look at what you have done. It is pointless staying in a marriage that isn't working as it will make you more depressed. You do not have nothing. Use all those skills you have learnt over all the years, like budgeting, juggling, etc. You have a wealth of knowledge. You are entitled to what you have within the marriage. I'm sure you have friends and maybe family for support who would love to see you succeed. You will be fine no matter where you decide to live and what you decide to do. Xxx

You have my sympathy, however, this page isn’t going to help you.
You don’t mention whether you have children, what your employment status is and what your abilities are. In fact....you state so little we can only surmise in order to give encouragement and advice.
I feel you need to discuss matters with the following people. Your GP....your state of mind might need help which may enable you to see things differently.
You need to speak with a marriage councillor....to establish where you truly are concerning the marriage. For example...if you have just become friends is it so wrong to live together harmoniously etc.
Based on the discussions with these people.....talk with a lawyer....what are your rights and your husbands.
Consider also.....what income you would have in the UK and where you would live?
Please don’t do anything rash but, above all, life is too short to be unh.

Your marriage has failed, there are two of you in it. Therefore it's a joint effort, or not! This means it's not your failure. One thing is for certain no matter how much you want something to work, the other person has to want the same thing for it to happen. You CAN'T do it alone.

You say you are retired, so presumably you have a pension from the country you are living in? Do find out whether you can continue to receive it if you move back to the UK.

Find out too, whether you are entitled to any form of help if you and your husband divorce.

In most European countries property and money in a joint account have to be divided equally between spouses who divorce.

But perhaps you are not living in Europe?

Why do you think you will need to move back to the UK? Do you want to, or not?

Please take all these things into consideration before asking for a divorce.