Husband told adult daughter he loves her

Not unreasonable Redsmudgy, because our feelings are what they are, but because this has bothered you I would encourage you to simply be honest with your husband. There's no harm in saying to him that you know it to be true that he loves you, but just occasionally you would like him to say the words.

My mother freely told me that if abortion had been legal when she found she was pregnant with me, I would never have been born. She has never told me she loves me and I don't believe she ever did. (In fairness she has never told any of my siblings she loves them either.)

My husband and I were friends for a long time before we started going out together as a couple and it then took him quite a while before he told me he loved me. I knew that was because he needed to be absolutely sure of his feelings as giving words to our love would inevitably mean a lifetime of commitment. When he did get around to saying the words, it wasn't long after that he proposed to me.

I recently listened to my DIL give my DS hell on the phone which he eventually got a bit impatient about. At the end of the call they both said, “Love you,” as if nothing had been wrong. I laughed out loud much to the astonishment of my son.

“Love you” in a phone call is rather different to I love you face to face. It’s used all the time now, and I do it with my children.
I had very little affection growing up, rather more violence so expressions of love would have been astonishing. As others have said, it’s also a generational thing and I don’t agree that its used too much. We need love. I did as a child and never got it. It leaves a mark.
Before my husband died, we often said it and was glad to be able to repeat it and have his reply before he slipped into his final coma. I also call everyone on my family darling, which amuses my granddaughter, as no one else uses the term!

many people say it automatically .... ‘love you‘ and obviously there’s no depth to it

What A bizarre judgment, how on earth would you know?

Lovely, Oldwoman70

I use 'darling' too @hollysteers
....safer too now as I sometimes have to go through all the family before I get the right name....

It’s not something we say anymore but we are together, supporting each other in the demands of live, talking, laughing and moving forward. Deed is worth more than words sometimes.

I remember 3 years ago when my dad was sat on the side of his bed waiting for the ambulance to come to take him into hospital as he was very ill. My Mum went and sat beside him to comfort him, she told him how much she loved him and all he said was I know you do. I felt really sad as he never said it back to her. He died 8 days later and they had been married 61 years.

Tell him you feel hurt by him not saying it to you. Our generation are not the most demonstrative and I have to make a point of saying it to my gc. My dad never once said it to me and my mum only when she was very old and I was looking after her.

How can yo be married over 40 years and your husband never tell you he loves you
I have been married 38 years and every day my husband tell me he loves me.He sends me text messages on with i love you

Deeds not words. My parents were not expressive physically or verbally. They never said they loved us, or often kissed us except when going to bed, but when I look back on my childhood. I can see that the greatest gift they gave us was the absolute security of knowing that they would never let us down, that no matter what we did, however terrible, we could turn to them and be sure of help, Simply, they loved us and always would. They just weren't the kind of people to say so, but we got the message.

My father never said the words "I love you" to my mum but he did show that he loved her.

Before being admitted to hospital one last time he said goodbye and "I love you" to my mum. She realised then that she would never see him again... He passed away a day later. ?

IME, men are often like this, they can say things to/do things for their DDs they don't/can't/won't do for their DWs. My own otherwise very loving DH is often guilty of this. IDK if it's the different way they see the two relationships or what. It's understandable that it bothered you in the moment. But I don't think it means anything negative about your relationship w/ him. IMO, you need to let it go.

I come from a family where those three little words were used. They were never “thrown around” the way they are now but held as special, deep, personal and sincere. I hate hearing them on phone calls though confess I do always repeat them back to those I do love, such as my family. I think they are said too soon, too often and too freely these days and are losing their unique potency. I think maybe this is what has happened to the OP’s husband. The daughter has said it and he has simply repeated it back. After all, it would be odd not to when you do love someone.

I’m sure I’ll be shot down in flames for this but I prefer to use them with meaningful hugs, in times where strength is required, in times of great joy, great sorrow, illness or really happy times. They are not “three little words” to me. They are three very big words, used always carefully to retain their magic.

Acts of love though, the small proofs of love every day, the physical shows of affection these are natural and the stuff of life.

The words, for me, are for something else. I expect your husband feels a bit like this. If you and he love each other and you need to hear the words, maybe he needs to know this? Say them yourself and see what he says.

?

Monica - you have given a perfect description of my own family

After reading this thread, I can't get the song More than Words out of my head.

www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tFP1zcsNjAtNqjIqDJgBAAfYgQT&q=more+than+words&oq=more+than+eords&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j46j0.7933j0j8&client=tablet-android-samsung&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

I remember my sister a few years back hugging our dad in his 80s and telling him, she loved him, no need for all that he said, I know! Some people are not comfortable with worfs but demonstrate their love I'm other ways. My hubby rubs my back and bring me a cuppa when I need one, he too tends to keep it in but we love each other and we know too.