It was a routine appointment that could have been on any Friday (they only do appointments downstairs on a Friday and she needs a downstairs room as she has convinced herself she can't walk now, despite having no real physical illness and despite medical advice that she should exercise more for her own good). My husband 'forgot' it was my birthday. No, it wasn't that important in itself but it is hard, as some of you kindly recognize, for the child of a narcissist to stand up to them after being trained for 50 years to appease them at all costs. I might have hoped that my husband, who has seen me suffer from severe depression before, might be a little more supportive, that's all. Yes, it is odd that my husband gives in so much to my mother (though she does praise him in ways she never does her own children, so maybe that is part of it); I wonder how he would have been if his own mother had been in this position, but then again I don't think she was a narcissist.
Grandad1943, you will no doubt be happy to hear that my birthday was a wash-out anyway; I felt ill and my brother chose to ring and tell me all our mum's latest list of complaints against us, which you would probably say we deserve...
MOnica, you are right in many ways, though it is not simple; I am having counselling to see if I can find a better way of coping for all of us.
