The letter I wish I had written

I agree with others....Write the letter...then tell yourself..u r alive..he’s dead..& u r still letting him torture u...every time u get the black mist...put him out your head if u can..?
Sometimes works for me...

Write it anyway I wrote about my feelings when my first OH was cheating including a letter to him which I didn't send but it sure helped me... found them the other day..... hard reading but gonna shred and put in compost as that's all he is worth!

Soon after my unpleasant, controlling father died someone told me to imagine him sitting in the chair opposite and say all the things you have wanted to say to and about him. I couldn't do it, and that was the fix. From thereon after it was all the way up and I've never looked back, even feel sorry for him for being the way he was and what he missed out on.

I still hold a massive candle to my wonderful FiL, and MiL. I was able to tell them years later, long after I had divorced their son (who was a rubbish father) that I had received the best parenting from them. Thankfully my DS and DSiL are wonderful fathers

I would write the letter as suggested and it will make you feel better to get your feelings down on paper.

Go with sussexborn suggestion. Widely known if you write somethings down that has been bothering you this releases the anxiety just as it would had you uttered the words. Give it a go, nothing to lose.

After leaving my secondary modern education in 1960 I wish I had written to the teachers of that school in the years that followed telling them just what a useless bunch of wasters they were.

All children after failing their eleven plus exam would in the nineteen fifties go on to secondary modern schools where you were treated as "factory fodder" and nothing else. I had a mild form of Dyslexia which was not recognised at that time as a disability, and therefore I (along with others) were treated as just plain stupid often in front of the whole class, which was very common practice by teachers at that time.

I left school believing I was just that, stupid. However, on joining the Transport & General Workers Union in the mid-nineteen sixties, I then took one of their basic education courses and the experience could not have been more different or greater.

With tutors who knew how to respect and bring forward the best in their students, I for the first time began to believe in myself in regard to being able to learn. I undertook many more trade union education courses which completely changed my life and the way I thought about myself and that life.

It was the mid-1980s before I realised just how useless those teachers at my original secondary modern school had been, and how they had "let down" not just me but all those post-war kids that past through that School in the nineteen fifties.

The school closed in the early nineteen seventies and therefore by the time I realised just what a failure that place was it was too late to contact anyone.

Still, right up to this day I can dream of sending that letter.

What touching stories. Times like this you can thank social media (Gransnet) where you can share with others and see many have experienced similar sad/happy stories.

In my case it is one of regret having written two letters and sending them to my boyfriend of nearly seventeen years telling him I didn't want to come to see me again and the second one was telling him not to come out with the local walking group. It probably was the right thing to do as he had told me not long before this that having moved to London this was a chance of a new life for him. Also I had started going out with someone else who I later married. We are still together. My regret is not remaining friends as I cared a lot about him. I have tracked him down. He has never married.

That should be: 'I didn't want him to come to see me again.'

Love the idea of writing a letter.
My friends daughter had a very traumatic childhood, and she told me that she found a way every night to help her sleep, by envisioning a hot air balloon tied down with four ropes, and ever so methodically she loads up boxes with all of the stresses or pain she is worried about at that particular time, and then she loads them all into the hot air balloon, and then she picks up an axe, and goes round all four of the tethered ropes, and cuts into them one by one, until the balloon starts to float away. She watches it disappearing into the distance, and watches it until its completely gone, and then finds shes asleep.
I started doing this with my worries and problems, loading the balloon, and now I fall asleep before I have even cut the ropes lol.

Many.

On the other hand, there is one I wish I hadn't. I madly fancied a guy who was an independant agent at one of the companies I worked for. When it folded, he made a point of keeping in touch but it kind of trailed off. I still had a bit of a thing for him so talked it over with a girlfriend who said "Why don't you just write to him? Tell him how you feel and leave it in his hands." . Sounded like logic so I did. And posted it.

I didn't hear back so after a week I called his house, only to hear an ansafone message from him and a woman....

She had not been in the picture when I last spoke to him. I still go red when I think of it. I really, really wish I had not sent him that letter. Recently met a mutual friend and have resisted the temptation to ask how he is. God! He really was dishy.

I can equate to so many things written here. Thank you all. I had a difficult childhood with a controlling father and mother who wouldn’t stand up to him. How I wish I had said to his face what his actions had done to me. However the positive is that I chose a husband the total opposite to him. Have two wonderful children and a happy marriage of 43 years. So that gives me satisfaction. I survived despite ......,

I owe someone an apology but never did get enough courage to write the letter which I should have written. Too late now as that person died last year. I will always regret this.