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60 soon - and feeling like I've had enough

(41 Posts)
VerySky Mon 08-Jun-20 21:19:23

I was going to post this on MN but didn't want to depress all the young mums!

Had lots of time to reflect during Lockdown. One thing I'm realising is how very difficult my life has been. Almost everything has been SO tough and challenging - family, health issues, finances, work, men - you name it.

Ultimately, I have the sense that everything in my life is a failure, despite my best hopes and efforts over a 40 year period.

I'm also feeling completely "done" with people and would cross the road to avoid them if I could (which is sad to feel that way).

So, at the moment I seem to be living with a sense of dread, some lengthy bouts of sadness and emotional pain which are often quite physically uncomfortable.

Never felt like this before. Not sure what to do. Is it depression? Not really had depression before. Should I take pills? Tough it out? Wait and see what happens, see if there is any 'natural healing' that might happen if I just rest? I've done an online test re. depression, its a bit inconclusive I think.

Anyone experienced or come through something like this?

Thanks for listening.

sodapop Wed 10-Jun-20 17:44:12

Verysky don't be afraid to take medication if its offered. It can help in the short term along with counselling etc.

welbeck Wed 10-Jun-20 17:48:31

Granny23, that's my point, what you wrote above. you had those pensions, which equal money, and without which you could not have done what you did in your 60s.
as for the person who said you don't need money to be happy, i don't see how one can be happy without it; destitution is not a happy state, insecurity, worry about bills, the constant stress is very wearing.

Puzzled Tue 16-Jun-20 08:35:22

Think of all the good things that have happened in your life!
You have lived to 60.
You have had successful relationships with people
You have been able to get and hold down jobs.
There are all the folk on here who want to help you.
You may not know them face to face but they want to help you.

May be hard to believe, but there are people out there in a worse state than you, Bereaved, disabled, homeless, existing in a war zone, living in terror of crime..
Count your blessings, you may think that this is hard to do, but there will be many.
If you have a pet, they will bring you comfort and companionship.
Find a real friend, face to face, in whom you can confide.
A trouble shared is a trouble halved!
You have already started down this road.
Carry on!

Things not to do;
DON'T hit the bottle. Alcohol may deaden the pain for a time, but will leave you even more depressed afterwards.
Drugs will damage your physical and mental health.

Oopsadaisy3 Tue 16-Jun-20 09:29:46

Puzzled I hope you meant drugs and not Pills for the OP, sometimes despite our best efforts we find that medication is The only way to get perspective in our lives and it can be the difference between living and death.
Verysky please speak to your GP as soon as you can.

anadybella Wed 17-Jun-20 11:27:38


I think this is common to most of us. Being shut up as we have been and for some still are is not good for mental health.

I agree with you.

sodapop Wed 17-Jun-20 17:12:19

Well said Oopsadaisy3 medication can play its part in helping with low mood/depression and should not be discounted.

annep1 Wed 17-Jun-20 19:03:59

I think VerySky that it might be a good idea to start your day be doing a couple of pages of journalling. It helps to think through all your thoughts and clarify how you feel.

Whingingmom Thu 18-Jun-20 17:57:04

TheNHS website has an excellent evidence based questionnaire which helps identify and describe how you are feeling. It’s simple to access online and you could complete it and use it to start a discussion with your GP about the best way to proceed. (It will also speed up access to treatment as GPs usually hand it out at first appointment and you will be one step ahead).
Wishing you all the best. Keep us updated.

Namsnanny Sun 21-Jun-20 13:31:28

VerySky … If you read but don't comment, do let us know how you are getting on.
Even if it's just to say your around.

I can empathise with some of the feelings you describe, and even if nothing has changed, it would be good to hear from you.

Thinking of you and wishing you all the best.

Namsnanny Sun 21-Jun-20 13:47:16

BTW, if you check you will see I have sent you a pm.

Skyblue2 Sat 27-Jun-20 12:06:05

VerySky - please be encouraged that you are not alone in experiencing these feelings. There is still love and compassion in the world. Each day is new. The past is gone. I have found tremendous help in reading books by Eckhart Tolle which you can also get free online. Also material by Jose Silva about how to heal. You have no doubt gained much in knowledge and experience throughout your life which is not wasted. You are a unique and amazing human being. Wishing you every good thing.

Esspee Tue 28-Jul-20 08:05:13

You sound as though a course of Prozac would help. I used it after nursing my husband through a terminal illness and after about a month on it noticed a positive change.
In time I gradually reduced the dose and frankly I would not hesitate to use it again if required.

gillybob Tue 28-Jul-20 08:14:02

I feel the same as you VerySky . I am 58 and feel like I’ve done nothing, achieved nothing and enjoyed very little. No friends to talk to , no exciting holidays to look forward to, just more of the same until I either drop dead from stress, or my MS gets so bad I can’t go on, or else work my guts out until I’m 67 and can draw my state pension. I have no private pension either .

I don’t think I’m depressed. This is just how it is .

Puzzled Thu 13-Aug-20 14:44:25

You have done things, and gone places. Just look back through your memories, and bask in the happy ones.
Look at how many folk on here are supportive.
At the end of every tunnel there is light, think how many torches are being held for you, by the posters on here.

Evoha16 Thu 13-Aug-20 15:27:57

What a lovely positive message -