Gransnet forums

Relationships

60 soon - and feeling like I've had enough

(40 Posts)
EllanVannin Tue 09-Jun-20 16:43:21

The realisation of my eldest D being 60 in January hasn't sunk in yet, so how do you think I feel ? grin grin
She's looking marvellous---I'm sure she's got " Lulu's " genes from somewhere. Then again, she's in Australia and they don't age there smile Lovely weather, walks and the beach on the doorstep, it makes a difference plus a good life too.

I think her job of childminding keeps her young too as she's got a couple of tiny babies at present. I'd be at my wits end smile

60 isn't old. I was semi-retired and scooting around the world. Coming up to 80, I couldn't do it now, so try and make the most of your life for the next 20 years because it doesn't last forever. Ups and downs are a part of life so hang on in there and stick with it.

These particular times don't help one bit.

welbeck Tue 09-Jun-20 16:23:52

Granny23,
i'm glad you were able to enjoy your 60s, but a large part of it being possible must have been having enough money to do so, not only the effects of anti-depressants.

Kate1949 Tue 09-Jun-20 10:04:37

VertSky I'm sorry you feel like this. There is some good advice here. If it's any consolation, I feel pretty much the same. My life has also been very difficult. I am 70 now and have no idea how I got through all the stuff I've been through. Best wishes to you.

Alexa Tue 09-Jun-20 09:50:47

Very Sky, I have felt like this and still do in the wee small hours especially. Anyone with any sensitivity feels like this from time to time. There is nothing wrong with you, unless you start obsessing, or unless your sadness makes you want to harm yourself. In those cases you need to seek help.

Alexa Tue 09-Jun-20 09:45:54

Very Sky, if you are not accustomed to introspecting this can come as a shock. Please don't take gloomy thoughts too seriously, and please don't excessively indulge gloomy thoughts ..

What has actually happened is you have learned a lot as have most of us during this extraordinary period. It's called 'a steep learning curve'. This takes time to process.

There is nothing wrong or "sad" about not wanting to socialise. This might be what the new Very Sky prefers to do, and good on you! You are all right!.

It may be a temporary phase and it may be permanent. In either case it's nothing to worry about.

BlueBelle Tue 09-Jun-20 09:36:23

I don’t agree that every low point in life is depression and needs to go to the doctor for pills, no not at all we all have huge ups and downs I was in my prime at 60 but 70 came a bit more of a shock, but now half way through them I m ok and found some niches that give me some fulfilment but it’s about embracing every part of your life Mine has gone totally opposite of anything I wanted or expected I look back and can see lots of mistakes lots of arid areas, sadness and disappointments and lots I would change I also remember happy times, and achievements (Perhaps not so many)

It might be a turning point in your life and you need to find a way to work on yourself, work on the positives they are there, you re just not seeing them at the moment It might be a whole lot better when we are out of this very unusual and difficult lonely time

The NHS has some brilliant booklets for stress panic and general low times This is the number 03001231503 or www.wellbeingnands.co.uk They also do fb and Twitter
I hope that helps

Puzzler61 Tue 09-Jun-20 09:35:07

Hi VerySky, so sorry to hear you are in a dark place at the moment. You are viewing everything about your life with negativity, which can be greatly improved by some counselling.
I think take a 2 pronged attack at this now. Speak to your doctor and see if he/she advises medication for depression - and if so, I urge you to take it. It really can help.
Also get yourself enrolled for some counselling (to reverse the negative thinking). In a short time you will realise you see your world differently. The sun will shine again.
Come back and let us know how you’re getting on.
Good Luck xx

Granny23 Tue 09-Jun-20 08:48:11

Sounds like depression to me too. Contact your GP for starters and don't be afraid to take anti-depressants - they are literally life savers.

As to approaching 60.....I was not a WASPI woman, so able to retire at 60 still fit and well. I had the best 10 years of my life, with pension income, no need to work in a stressful job and free to do as I pleased - including travel, couple of University courses, and best of all to be a hands on Granny to my 3 Grandchildren. All made possible by taking antidepressants. Now it is downhill all the way but I so grateful for those glorious years, would not have missed them for the world.

sodapop Tue 09-Jun-20 08:35:34

I'm sorry you are feeling so low at the moment Verysky I agree entirely with V3ra talk to a professional and your Dr about how you feel. Any symptoms of depression are exacerbated by the situation we are in now. You are not alone in feeling like this.
Dr Google is not the best place to look for answers, do talk to your friends and family about your feelings. Best wishes.

silverlining48 Tue 09-Jun-20 08:26:09

Sorry you are feeling this way, it sounds like you are depressed so please get medical advice as soon as you can. Times are difficult for us all so you are not alone, I wish you well.

ladymuck Tue 09-Jun-20 06:44:09

The current situation means that we all have more time on our hands. Time to dwell on things and think about the past. I'm sorry your life has been a struggle up to now, but perhaps now is the time to make the future better for yourself. Think about how you want your life to be different, and what changes you can make.
Do what you want, don't do things to please other people.

agnurse Mon 08-Jun-20 23:17:08

You may like to take a look at the Geriatric Depression Scale. I'd recommend you do the 15-item one; it's all yes/no questions. If you're finding you answer "yes" to many of the questions, I'd strongly recommend bringing your results to your provider and asking if they'd recommend you consider treatment for depression.

V3ra Mon 08-Jun-20 22:10:39

VerySky I suspect that approaching 60 has started you looking at where you feel your life is at.
You do sound like there are several aspects of it you're not happy with.
Whether that's clinical depression or not I don't know, your GP could advise on that.

One thing I would suggest you might find beneficial is counselling.
Two of my family members have had some very difficult phases in their lives and both have found counselling very helpful.
You can self-refer for a course of sessions, your GP surgery will know the local number if it's not available online.

Best wishes xx

25Avalon Mon 08-Jun-20 21:22:02

I think this is common to most of us. Being shut up as we have been and for some still are is not good for mental health.

VerySky Mon 08-Jun-20 21:19:23

I was going to post this on MN but didn't want to depress all the young mums!

Had lots of time to reflect during Lockdown. One thing I'm realising is how very difficult my life has been. Almost everything has been SO tough and challenging - family, health issues, finances, work, men - you name it.

Ultimately, I have the sense that everything in my life is a failure, despite my best hopes and efforts over a 40 year period.

I'm also feeling completely "done" with people and would cross the road to avoid them if I could (which is sad to feel that way).

So, at the moment I seem to be living with a sense of dread, some lengthy bouts of sadness and emotional pain which are often quite physically uncomfortable.

Never felt like this before. Not sure what to do. Is it depression? Not really had depression before. Should I take pills? Tough it out? Wait and see what happens, see if there is any 'natural healing' that might happen if I just rest? I've done an online test re. depression, its a bit inconclusive I think.

Anyone experienced or come through something like this?

Thanks for listening.