Not good enough for my daughter?

So, I'm a bit confused here... In my short time on Gransnet I've worked out that as grandparents we are to offer no opinions on any aspect of baby care, child rearing or schooling. "Keep your mouth shut, they're not your children, you've had your turn". (And that was from GPs).
We are not to visit unless invited, especially in the first month, and God forbid we break that rule. We are completely at the mercy of our adult children when it comes to seeing our grandchildren.
However, we are expected to be prepared to support them financially, act as unpaid childcare when it suits them, and finally, as if that wasn't enough, do chores when we do get to visit!!
How the Hell did it get this messed up? Unbelievable! Someone somewhere must be having a right laugh at our expense, and I think it might be our oh so entitled children. Sigh.
Back under my parapet....

Got it in a nutshell Beeny! But not, fortunately, for all of us.

That just about sums it up for a lot of GP's Beeny.

I think too many parents have trampled over their children when the grandchildren turn up and we are seeing the direct result of the many horror stories (and they are horror stories) that go around.

Newer generations feel they have to set boundaries to avoid future problems.

The blame for that is on those who trampled all over their children.

She’s probably menopausal,don’t worry time will heal the problem———-just say what can I help with next time,good luck.You did very well to do that long drive.

That made me laugh Beeny

These days youngsters get more financial help with childcare, when mine were young we got no help at all. They also seem to be under the impression that we should be available and forget we have a life of their own. I would leave it for a couple of weeks and see what happens.

Are you a new poster gardenrose ?
This was posted two days ago and gardenrose hasn’t been back so you may be talking to yourselves

Exactly Bluebell! So much missing from the post , was it a day visit, a week! What was she supposed to do from a distance of almost 6 hours. I would not drive that far for a day, I would be in bits, I don't know anyone that would. The older I get the less I want to drive any distances except within 20/30 miles and that's daytime, certainly not in the dark. I would be very hurt and upset at being treated like an unwanted visitor, but she woukd know that.

It's a shame when posters are trying to be supportive that there is no response from the OP. Happens quite a bit.

Not sure how realistic it is that a GM could have trampled over her D to get to her GC when they're a 5.5 hour drive away.

It's all down to unrealistic expectations and a lack of honest communication. A good long discussion is needed.

I'd be exhausted after a 5.5 hour journey - even as a passenger! I'd much rather go by train. Still, I'd need a nap when I arrived.

That's clearly not what I said Smileless

Definitely ask her what she had wanted you to do. After a long drive on your own surely she understood how you felt? I’m sure we are none us truly ourselves at present. Fret not and look after yourself.

I think it is important not to interpret it as you being "not good enough" - all that has happened is that you both had different expectations about a particular situation. This happens all the time and the only way through is to talk about it and sort it out.

It's all down to unrealistic expectations and a lack of honest communication. I agree Hetty, communication is the key. Saying 'you haven't done enough to help' is insufficient. You have to say what help you need/would like and if that's going to be doable for the person you're asking.

And there really is no need for you to apologise - you could say you are sorry that you had different expectations and perhaps you could discuss it so that things go right next time.