My bio mother was in the Army during WWII, one reason I 'think' my bio father may have been in the services too. While my adoption has been a huge family secret, it doesn't sit well with me that they all took 'my' secret to their graves and I still don't know any details. I have never been told I was adopted, but gathering what info I could and talking at length to a couple of senior managers at Births/Deaths/Marriages they confirmed that my story was common for the time.
Unfortunately my adoption was inter-family and arranged through the Catholic church prior to my birth registration, so that registration was in the name of my adoptive parents, a major indicator apparently. No written records were kept and even birth records from the hospital were lost in a fire. Again, unfortunately, my adoptive parents weren't the ideal parents in that he abused me in every way possible and while adoptive mother didn't participate, she was complicit due to not making any attempt to stop him. This adoptive father was a narcissist and my bio mother's brother, they didn't get along and I remember many times she would leave in tears, after a huge argument.
However I think I met my bio father as a 3-4 yr old because I would be taken to my 'aunts' (bio mother) mostly on Sat afternoon and I can still 'see' this tall dark haired man (sometimes in uniform) he would arrive after me and leave before I was collected....so adoptive father didn't know he was there. I also remember he showered me with love and lots of hugs/kisses, small gifts and gave the best cuddles, something I never got at home. I was also told never to tell anyone he was there because if anyone knew, then he couldn't return.
I just wish I could 'see' the colour of his uniform or remember his name, but I was too young to remember many other details, although he and bio mother used to say 'what a lovely, little family we all made'. These visits were full of love and I couldn't wait until the next time we all met.
I guess he's passed away by now, so no chance of DNA and the major DNA companies have all suggested the chances are almost zero. Other searches are impossible without a name.
Otoh, my bio Mum and I got on really well and surprisingly some of my hobbies aligned with hers even though that was not a conscious decision on my part. Many times over a lot of years she used to tell me 'you and I have got to have a long-g-g-g-g talk some day about something very special' but she could never bring herself to have that conversation.
If only I could turn back the hands of time.....