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Husbands

(32 Posts)
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Gingster Thu 20-Aug-20 16:28:22

My DH has become an armchair addict. Four months ago he had a slight stroke and he has lost all his get up and go. He has given up the cigars which he enjoyed and is now a grumpy, grouch and whatever I do is wrong. He has fallen out with long term friends, doesn’t want to play his beloved golf or tennis and would sit and watches tv All day . I encourage him to dig walk with me every morning but we have to rush back for bargain hunt and there he sits fir the rest of the day. What else can I do to motivate him?

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grandtanteJE65 Fri 21-Aug-20 14:48:54

Oh dear, I have been there and done that though my DH broke his collar bone.

Tell him that he is begging for the next stroke by not exercising and just sitting watching TV.

I seriously wondered at one point whether I should smash our set!

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Gingster Fri 21-Aug-20 15:51:58

Thanks for all your very helpful comments. I will take all this On BoaRd and try to be more patient. I just hate seeing him so motiveless

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Lulubelle500 Fri 21-Aug-20 16:50:29

Five months is no time at all. A slight stroke is not so slight if you're the one who has it. It takes your confidence away and you are out of step with the world for a while. It sounds as if he is getting through it in his own way. It wouldn't be your way, maybe, but he obviously feels home is the safe place for him at the moment and when he's away from it be can't wait to get back to it. Let him have the time to heal, both his body and his spirit.

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CarlyD7 Fri 21-Aug-20 20:39:24

Over the lockdown, the government has put lots of extra money into mental health (mainly because of the effects of the pandemic on medical staff) so you may find that your GP can help more than they could, say, a year ago. Get in touch with her/him, even if your husband won't to ask for help. I would say definitely depression / loss of confidence. He needs outside professional help to have the confidence to start engaging in life again - doubt that he will listen to a loved one. Having something like a stroke can be a terrible shock - I've seen it recently with a couple I know. He won't go anywhere or do anything now.

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moggie57 Fri 21-Aug-20 21:24:07

sounds like he's depressed or scared that he might have another stroke. speak to your GP.stop waiting on him hand and foot .if he asks for something say you know it is and go do something else

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Puzzled Sun 06-Sep-20 11:59:12

A friend had a stroke a while ago, and he is now slower doing things than he used to be.
But, over a year on, he is getting back into doing things, although not with the same "get up and go".
I am more of a couch potato than he is, so keep working gently at it. It takes time.
Exercise of any sort is good for all of us. Mental exercise is a good start, especially if it gives a sense of success.

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