Spending time together

We have in-laws who do this and I have always thought it rather weird.
When OH wants to watch something awful (e.g.cycling or car racing) I go onto my iPad and if he hates something I want to watch he reads (sometimes with his eyes closed).

Sophiasnana I'm 61, my husband is 62, we've been married 40 years. He watches his tv programmes whilst I'm here (lounge/diner) on the computer, looking at different things. On the odd occasion, I want to watch something, he either sits and read or does his crosswords. We talk and we occasionally go out - separately and together (not so much now, with all this Covid business), but we're ok.

DH is not really interested in much more than the football, well almost any kind of sport really. I on the other hand don't like any sport other than tennis which is not on tv very often.
We do have a little tv in the bedroom which is connected up to the BT tv set-up where I think he should watch matches/games other than those with his actual team in and leave me in peace to watch Prime/Netflix stuff.
Needless to say, that never happens.
It'll be me in there now that football is back in full swing and winter approaches.
We do watch some things together though, Mastermind and University Challenge come to mind!

We tend to spend the days in separate rooms but watch tv together in the evenings. We compromise on what we watch.

Nope couldn't tell you the last time we watched TV together. He watches something on his tablet with his headphones and I read via my ereader . Suits us . He will sometimes stop his movies to tell me about an actor.
Occasionally movies
I am very partial to my husband.
I think you and your husband are comfortable

OH watches far more tv than I do. We just have the one set so if he is watching something I hate, he simply puts headphones on!

I could have written your post myself Sophiasnana. The difference is with me and my husband, we spend the week nights in different rooms then on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights we both sit together and decide together on what film we watch. He has his gin and tonic and I have my Vodka with lime and Soda. It works really well for both of us and we look forward to every weekend. I hope that you and your husband can sort some time out to be together.

Are there are at least a few programmes that you both like? You could maybe set aside one or two evenings to watch them together? But if not, as long as you get on well together and spend time/do other things together during the day, it's fine to each watch your own stuff in the evenings. Much better than bickering over the TV or being "forced" to watch things you dislike. Don't worry about it. It certainly doesn't mean you aren't a good loving couple because you spend a few hours doing your own thing in the evenings. Quite often my husband (of 41 years) will sit in one room reading or playing music while I'm on my playstation in the other room. We are both happy doing what we want!

This is no different from having different hobbies that are carried on in different rooms. It seems to work, so why change it?

Ditto! My husband likes American series & all sorts of stuff I call rubbish.
He goes into his study after dinner & I use the sitting room.
He does absolutely LOVE Corrie though so we do watch that together.
We do talk to each other as the study is next to the sitting room!
Usually him asking for a cup of coffee or me asking him to open a bottle of wine!

We did this for a while due to illness not TV and were happy doing it but both decided we had started to live different lives and could drift apart. We now have at least three days together watching programs we both love and the rest apart watching our own programs although we still
pop in a couple of times together for a chat.

We have two TVs in different rooms. OH likes anything old and black and white which I dont enjoy. I like my soaps and reality shows. We both enjoy animal documentaries , farming and crime drama series so watch those together in whichever room is warmer! I think its great that we have a choice.

We watch things together most of the time. When there’s something on that I really can’t bear (football, Top Gear etc) then I read or watch something else on the iPad with my headphones on. Then we’re both happy.

Your arrangement sounds fine, and if you are both happy there's no problem.
OH and I watch quite a bit together, but don't 'snuggle up' as he likes to flop full length on the sofa and I prefer an armchair.

We quite often watch tv separately as there are some programmes that we just don't watch together. Weekends we normally watch together, tv on Saturday evening is dire so we generally watch a film. We have a tv upstairs in our spare bedroom/chillout room and the one in the lounge, no tv in our bedroom. So I don't see a problem with watching tv apart most nights of the week. We cook together, eat together, shop together, sleep together etc.

As most men do, mine controls the remote control!! We do have 3 TVs, the best one often lacks an internet connection, so limited in use, The one mostly used is on most of the day with DH's choice. I occasionally glance at it, but mostly get on with emails, etc. The 3rd one is a bit selective about subtitles and I'm lost without them. He generally watches oldies like Morse, Lewis, Midsomer, Poirot, etc. I prefer more recent programmes!!

My husband had hearing difficulties so watched a lot of sport. I used to go in another room and listen to the radio and sew or do my crossstitch. We did watch films together and sometimes I had to tell him what was happening.
Now years later I am going deaf but thankfully there are subtitles.

Since it is the tv that seems to be causing the problem, one solution might be to get rid of it!

Do most men really control the remote, Gwen? I’ve only known one who most definitely did - an older friend we used to stay with now and then.

He invariably chose what to watch - never asked what anyone else would like - and it was very often something dh and I would never choose. He’d then keep the remote firmly grasped in his hand, while he sat back in his recliner, the only properly comfortable chair in the room.

Almost inevitably he’d nod off fairly soon, but however gently you tried to ease the remote from his hand, his fingers would instantly tighten in a vice-like grip!

I’d often plead tiredness as early as 9 pm. There was a small TV in the spare room so I’d watch whatever I wanted in bed - far more comfortable anyway than the chair I’d been sitting in.

He’s gone now, so I don’t mind adding that he was an extremely self centred man in other respects, too.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I feel really disappointed to read so many accounts of women giving in to men over the telly. Makes me even more happy to be single.

Ah, you just have to find the right sort of man, Buttonjugs.

In our house, the remote’s a bit of a free spirit, controlled by no one. Often making itself comfy down the side of a cushion or under a book.

Ok it might be a tall order but maybe watch what he wants sometime and get him to watch your programmes another time. Try and spend some time in the same room because as you say, you will miss each other when the other one has gone in the future. I’m sure his programmes are not that bad.

Because we are mostly working at home at the moment, we inhabit different parts of the house, during the day.
We always stop for lunch together.

After supper, we generally sit together and watch television. Sometimes we finish our work, but stick to a general rule of no work after supper.
Mostly my partner watches the programmes I like, or we find something we both like.
I don’t like his choices - Horizon, Question Time etc, so he watches them on catch up. I watch some of my favourites on catch up too, so I don’t inflict too many of my choices on him.

Thanks for everyones support. Makes me realise we’re not so unusual after all, and still very happily married!